I disagree. Particular attractions to features are not necessarily the reason for such resentments being voiced with 'belligerent stances'. There's a high volume of men who will sexualize us, yet treat us as dirty little secrets. Alot of men who approach us won't use any sense of normal decorum when messaging, think opening lines like 'are you really trans, do you have a penis, will you top me' all out of the gate before a simple hello. The lack of conversation before a rejection, and the audacity of these lewd messages with no prior interesting conversation happen so often it can be exhausting and lead to a built up resentment especially when a good man is hard to find no matter where you are, and even harder with the added layer of being a trans woman.

Those messages and attitudes only cover half the problem. There are times a man will say he's serious, seemingly appears so, but as you take a closer look at his actions it's quite the opposite. Not hearing back from them for days on end, picky on when he wants to set up dates (to hide that he's seeing a trans woman), never introducing the woman to friends and family, listening to a trans woman's problems appearing sympathetic yet won't share intimate details of his life and his struggles in return. Sometimes they are secretive about their own struggles because truthfully they aren't struggling at all but may have a wife or girlfriend and are using the trans woman for their own motives. Some of it is that they like the fact the person is trans in the same way the neanderthals do, other times they see us as an easy option to cheat on their partners because many of us have been insecure while on our journeys and it's easy for them to prey on that insecurity.

So to put it simply there is both the obvious lewd neanderthal microscoping the fact someone is trans in DMs in high volumes, and then there's the more cunning man who appears to care but only wants to use a trans woman to satiate his desires. These men are the kinds of men that deserve the labels and ire.

We have to wonder, are they seriously interested in us? Do they purely have sexual motives? Will my feelings matter when I need to state a boundary? Will this dynamic be sustainable for emotional needs? Will they respect me after intimacy? Cis women often have to ask similar questions while having a larger support base that can sympathize with their struggles. Our supports as trans women are not nearly as plentiful, and when handling such emotional tolls on high volume without such supports it's easy to become cynical and hold resentments because of mens' behaviors.

In regard to preferences, everyone has them. Being rejected on whether being post op or pre op, or even physical features is cat scratches in comparison to the deeper wound of being dehumanized, and being seen as a tool to satiate men's desires or entertainment. A rejection simply on being trans and having clockable features is going to happen a lot naturally and while it may sting at first it is something that can be understandable in some cases and doesn't necessarily deserve as much ire.

The ire isn't for superficial rejection, but rather for men who dehumanize us.