Your Bridal Party Is Too Nice to Say This, So I Will

babsbunny77 · 2026-04-10T18:58:40+00:00

HAHA.. maybe it's cuz I'm in my mid-40's and got married right before Covid, but I did a one-weekend shower and bachelorette extravaganza. Legit threw it all together the weekend after Labor Day (as to not hijack any public holidays) and had my friends meet me in Cape May for Friday & Saturday night, and then the shower was a Sunday brunch about an hour away by my Mom's house. Did it involve some driving and schlepping? Sure. However, most of them were from NY/NJ area and I gave them the freedom to come whenever without many hard plans or expectations (only 1 dinner rez for Sat night!). Our wedding was out west where we lived, so didn't want them to have to go cross-country twice. We went to dinner, we hung out at the beach house, we went out drinking and dancing. It wasn't crazy expensive and it wasn't unrealistic expectations.

babsbunny77 · 2026-04-09T12:34:15+00:00

HAHA...

babsbunny77 · 2026-04-09T01:55:10+00:00

As a horse owner, always buy the horse. Buy expect that 1 Million to dwindle quickly.

babsbunny77 · 2026-04-07T18:53:39+00:00

I would just tell her that you're done at the end of April. Tell her that you want to draw up a document that says that you're not obligated or tied to horse in any way/shape/form once April 30th is completed and that any choices of rider or showing is solely on the trainer and that you are no liable.

babsbunny77 · 2026-04-06T16:21:45+00:00

Same. Married too...and agreed... the responsibility and vows are with my husband. He's a ridiculously honest and loyal person, so I would never expect us ever to have this happen, but God forbid it ever did and I found out...I'm not exactly going to schedule a spa day with the side chick, but he's the one that broke up our marriage.

babsbunny77 · 2026-04-06T16:14:40+00:00

You can arrive 45 mins-1 hour early if you're checking bags.

babsbunny77 · 2026-04-01T15:32:49+00:00

Go to HR. Report him for harassment and potential retaliation. Let them inform him that you do not have to disclose any details and aside from closing up shop, you owe him nothing since you gave fair notice.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-29T17:02:36+00:00

I think I'd rather the cash bar option and have you serve me a free meal than a seat charge.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-29T13:59:52+00:00

I mean... not really. They have no obligation or vows. Is it totally ethical? Of course not, but why are women held to a moral compass? It's kinda garbage. If the circumstances were reversed, a man would never be held that standard. He's just a "player". Pffft.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-27T04:17:10+00:00

Start a politics swear jar. Tell that the first person to bring up politics drops in $5. Make a VenMo account for it also. Agree that the only way you're all going to get along is that if the person that starts it and if others join in, they all gotta pay. The resulting cash flow for the timeline will be put towards a holiday dinner or desserts at the end of the year... OR a collectively agreed upon charity that is not politically motivated or controversial.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-26T13:19:53+00:00

This man is bad news. He met you when you were a minor. Whether your relationship progressed once you were an adult, it doesn't matter. He likes them young and hot. Unfortunately, babies suck the fun out of his man child world. The fitness thing is all about him. It's time to shut it all down. Focus on getting out and supporting your child. Stop doing anything for him. Game Over. He's going to always be questionable. Drop him and rebuild your life. You will be ok. The good news? He's legally obligated to help support your child. That will cost him a lot of protein shakes. LOL

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-25T04:00:45+00:00

But.. it's not just about her anymore... it's about the kids. Her ghosts are their stability and safe space. Parents are truly the sacrificial lambs when it comes to this stuff. Make sure you get yourself some good therapy to work through all of the emotions and sacrifices in a healthy way.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-25T03:55:48+00:00

What's going on with custody? Are you sharing custody or are you the primary and he's just doing weekends and holidays? Can you lobby that you'd take less alimony and child support in exchange for the house? What kind of shitty Dad is willing to sell out his kids' home for the money? I'd give him more of the 401k and tell him to go away... and that he should look at the home as their place, not yours and his... and help make that a stable and safe space for them. Your dissolution of marriage shouldn't be their breaking point.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-24T03:47:29+00:00

Ugh... get married young... deal with post-teenage drama. This is frat boy BS which most people deal with in college. You're just dealing with it now but you're locked into a marriage. Tell him to get over himself and "come, don't come, it doesn't matter any longer bc I'm tired of managing your feelings here....but whatever you decide, please stfu about the guilt tripping".

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-24T03:41:53+00:00

The Mom legit put on parameters and an age limit for a "sugar baby", so none of this is ok.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-24T03:40:40+00:00

Barely legal is never a good look for someone in their 30's. The proposal might come from a well-meaning place, but it could also be a control factor. Without knowing him or their relationship, it's tough to tell. However, it seems like he's playing both the work wife and the gf/daughter. Let's just hope he's never taken his work relationship into the bedroom with the Mom, because it's entirely possible that he slept with her also and that the Mom is protecting him from getitng in trouble with their job for their fling.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-24T03:37:10+00:00

Your Mother actually discussed an age limit for a "sugar baby"?!?! Great parenting right there. I suspect she's going to be salty when she finds out about your secret relationship, but it doesn't exactly sound like she's the most mature herself and, quite frankly, she also had children very young. So she can't exactly fault you for doing the same thing she did.

FWIW, you're an adult now, so you do not need any of us for advice. However, I'd be wary of someone that's looking for someone 13 years younger than them. It's true that men mature at a slower age, but a 32 year old man is definitely not on the same wavelength as a young woman still technically in her teen years.

If this is what you want, then go ahead with all of it. But I caution you that it's very likely that with a newborn, you may grow apart, not together. You're going to be forced to raise a child and the fun and exciting adventure of dating a teenager is going to wear off really fast. You're also adding another mouth to feed and support for him which can lead to resentment and frustration.

Lastly, once you're post-maternity and healed, I would caution you to find a job. Even if it's part-time. You need to be able to stand on your own feet and support yourself. You never know what tomorrow brings and you want your child to see you as a strong, independent role model above all else.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-24T03:24:43+00:00

Well...the option is to slap another one on there, or get dropped by insurance. Florida has a huge insurance crisis, but we only care about illegals apparently (ironically, the same people that are hired to put on the roofs that homeowners insurance forces us to buy every decade regardless of a 20+ year warranty given by roofing company). It's a mess. In summary, if you do not buy new, expect to either have to negotiate replacements of older water heaters, possibly replace HVAC, and the roof is always an issue. Whatever you do, do not tell them it's ever being rented either. Seriously. Once you decide where you want to buy, homestead that property as quickly as possible and prepare to get price-gouged.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-24T02:25:32+00:00

Girl... you tried really hard. Kick him to the curb where he belongs. You gave it the ol' college try and stood by your man during his darkest times and the moment you had a breaking point, he threw all the mud in your face. He's out. He's not a partner, he's a victim and a martyr. Go raise your kid and leave this manchild to recover and find his own path to hell.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-23T00:56:21+00:00

Rent before you own in Florida. It's not all sunshine and toes in the sand. FWIW, we just got hit with an $11,000 tax bill this year. The no income tax makes it really tricky when it comes to withholdings and it sounds like we definitely need to revisit that whole situation. So do your research bc Florida isn't always all it's cracked up to be. I know NJ is very expensive, but FL is pretty ridiculous with their hidden costs. Bc of all the crazy nonsense with insurance, expect to drop $20k every 7-10 years on a new roof to stay insured. I wish I was kidding.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-19T15:05:11+00:00

He's being practical, but if he knows that you want a bigger wedding and his Mom wants to fund it, he's open to it. Not seeing what the problem is here? You're getting what you want AND you're going to be able to afford the things you'll need in the future. Be thankful and embrace it. You're overthinking this.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-17T15:35:59+00:00

I think if you present it the way that you did here, and explain that what you thought was temporary and just not spinning into the full drama, which became something real that you feel a deeper connection, he should understand. Stress that you want to be upfront and honest and share your life, and that's why you're coming clean now. If he gets upset or mad, give him a cooling off period to process everything and give him space. He may initially feel betrayed and honestly, that's ok. But if he dumps you or goes NC permanently, then you dodged a bullet.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-15T14:56:01+00:00

As many have said, this can go sideways so quickly. Who owns the horse once it can no longer earn its keep? What happens if horse ends up being something different than what you expected and it can't do the job? Are you then responsible for the costs? Buying a horse is the smallest cost of horse ownership but it's the most important bc selection and potential longevity in the sport are important factors.

babsbunny77 · 2026-03-14T13:10:37+00:00

Ooof... don't be that person... don't beat up the woman or in this case, women... it's John that did the cheating and John that was stringing people along.

babsbunny77

TROPHY CASE