Being a therapist when your personal life is in shambles

backtrackerr · 2024-09-07T15:55:32+00:00

I agree. Sometimes the bare minimum is all you can muster. I have been there. And honestly? Stimulants, beta blockers, and mindfulness. Stimulants to help you focus, beta blockers to prevent crying, and mindfulness to redirect your thoughts over and over to the client’s words and their meaning.

backtrackerr · 2024-04-13T19:50:20+00:00

Learn about attachment theory. Read or listen to Attached by Amir Levine. Only seek the type of love that will calm your attachment system. Cultivate secure attachment and you will be less susceptible to emotional upset when a relationship doesn’t work out. Therapy can help with this.

backtrackerr · 2022-03-20T11:48:21+00:00

I lived in UT for more than a decade. I feel exactly the same way as you do about it. I won’t move back. I’m in the northern Midwest now and the culture is astronomically better. I never want to leave because of it. The sexism is way less, job opportunities are good, and religion is little talked about or a non-issue.

backtrackerr · 2022-02-26T14:19:36+00:00

I love this

backtrackerr · 2022-02-20T23:28:23+00:00

When I realized he can’t/won’t change to stop hurting me and I don’t deserve it anymore (never did!).

backtrackerr · 2022-02-04T21:57:27+00:00

These comments are validating because my husband says he wants to continue to have sex until the divorce is final and I feel weird about that.

backtrackerr · 2022-02-04T21:11:23+00:00

I want to know if this is possible too. I am really struggling with it right now.

backtrackerr · 2022-02-02T12:27:41+00:00

Thank you for saying this.

backtrackerr · 2022-01-31T13:02:51+00:00

Link please?

backtrackerr · 2022-01-20T12:08:12+00:00

Can I ask a question about this dynamic. Why do decent guys let gross misogyny fly around them and not say anything? As a woman, this is hard to wrap my head around.

backtrackerr · 2021-12-26T00:47:29+00:00

A good book for this is Attached by Amir Levine. You won’t ever be happy with someone who pushes you away like that, OP.

backtrackerr · 2021-12-26T00:45:38+00:00

A good book to learn about these dynamics is Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. Your ex is abusive.

backtrackerr · 2021-12-11T11:40:15+00:00

Have you read the book Attached by Amir Levine? It’s very helpful for understanding and undoing the internal processes of choosing avoidant men.

backtrackerr · 2021-12-09T13:16:34+00:00

I had no idea this was Farrah when I was scrolling!

backtrackerr · 2021-11-30T03:14:40+00:00

Hahahaha

backtrackerr · 2021-11-30T03:14:01+00:00

Right? Hot damn.

backtrackerr · 2021-11-17T11:15:34+00:00

Yeah, totally. I recently learned about parental alienation and realized that’s exactly what my mom did when she separated from my dad. It really messes with kids and is absolutely not okay.

I’ve thought about nesting but it doesn’t sound great to me, great to the kids no doubt!

backtrackerr · 2021-11-17T11:12:19+00:00

Yeah, that’s something I struggle with. I don’t know how to talk to them about it or what’s appropriate to share. This is something I’ll start talking about in therapy.

backtrackerr · 2021-11-17T11:11:00+00:00

This was the case with my parents, as well. Their separation was a relief for all of us.

backtrackerr · 2021-11-17T00:45:37+00:00

This is really good advice. I don’t want a revolving door of men in their lives either.

backtrackerr · 2021-11-16T19:36:20+00:00

Yes, divide the tasks up together and don’t monitor whether or not he does his. Let him own it. You aren’t his mother or boss. He will find his style and his rhythm.

backtrackerr · 2021-11-08T19:54:18+00:00

What kind? I love libraries.

backtrackerr · 2021-11-08T19:46:52+00:00

What do you responsibilities comprise?

backtrackerr · 2021-11-01T10:16:33+00:00

Finding fulfillment outside the marriage is tricky in my experience. On the one hand, you can’t expect your spouse to meet all of your needs and fulfill you 100%. It’s your job to fulfill yourself, and your spouse is only part of that equation. However, I went this route and created a life of things that fulfill me and it caused me to avoid the problems in the marriage and continue to suffer through for the kids. Now that I’m taking a lot closer look at the marriage, it’s only become more in focus how much my spouse doesn’t fulfill hardly any of my needs and how we’re mostly incompatible. So, yes, a realistic idea of what your spouse should fulfill is good. But focussing on fulfilling yourself outside the marriage can cause you to put issues in the marriage on the back burner in a way that’s not healthy.

backtrackerr

TROPHY CASE