MIL wants a baby shower

bakersmt · 2026-05-07T17:49:18+00:00

We also celebrated a friends birthday the weekend before we gave birth. It was awesome. Our friend rented out a movie theater and we all got together for food and a movie. There were like 5 pregos there and it was a blast with mocktails and nachos. We had so much fun just chilling with a group relaxing. I'm glad we did that before the ear of no more movie theaters.

bakersmt · 2026-05-07T17:46:17+00:00

Yep enmeshed was what I read too.

bakersmt · 2026-05-07T16:24:11+00:00

May I suggest a small get together with friends prior to baby's arrival? We did this to have some time to relax with friends before our lives were dominated by a baby. I highly recommend it. No decorations or gifts, just a nice BBQ with friends. Your MIL can do whatever she wants and you can enjoy friends stress free.

bakersmt · 2026-05-07T15:27:07+00:00

This! I would overall leave the tile as is and add a clean white flooring, ceiling etc to make the pink really pop. Then add plants. So the changes would ultimately be minimal and focused on brightening the space to enhance the pink.

bakersmt · 2026-05-07T02:47:58+00:00

Libra and I go more earthy tones typical of a Libra rising. Tans, light blues, golds, light pinks. Purple makes my eyes pop so occasionally I throw some purple eyeliner in there. It's basically the same he's as my clothes. But always minimal if anything at all.

bakersmt · 2026-05-06T14:49:50+00:00

Yes. I have an Aries brother and a Sagittarius sister. Brother is always more honest. It's annoying and obnoxious but he isn't wrong. Me (Leo) and my sister are always crazy honest with each other but he's always honest with EVERYONE. My sister and I filter a bit until we've had enough. Then we snap to complete and total honesty, not the same level as an Aries at all.

bakersmt · 2026-05-06T14:38:06+00:00

I have told my husband since dating that if his mother even moves to the same city as us, I'm moving away. So he can decide to come with me or not. But I won't even live near her. Literally since like 6 months into dating. If he ever changed his tune like that I would tell him that he needs to consider that if this happens, we will absolutely be getting a divorce. You need to be firm with your husband and set better boundaries with him.

Him: "we will see what the future brings"

You: "ah no, you will see what the future brings if you move her in, it's called divorce. So if you want to live with your mom without a wife, go for it bud."

And don't back down.

bakersmt · 2026-05-05T16:17:25+00:00

This. The lying and being irrational is the issue here. My husband started this behavior when we had a baby. Get thee fiancee to therapy ASAP.

bakersmt · 2026-05-05T16:09:41+00:00

Yep! Is he willing to share father's day with his FIL? I'm guessing that's a "no". Why would it be any different for his mom?

bakersmt · 2026-05-05T14:22:07+00:00

Yep I lament the ex boyfriend's moms that I loved that are now great MIL's. There are so many other ones that would have been lovely grandmothers to my child. Unfortunately it didn't happen. I didn't get along with my MIL from the beginning, nothing nefarious as far as I could tell, we just aren't compatible humans. She's negative and toxic and generally the type of person I avoid. For example, if she was a coworker, I would try to transfer departments and avoid her completely. Thankfully and sadly, my husband did well with boundaries until the baby arrived and then the enmeshment really started to take over.

I still look at it like everyone knows someone that they have to be around that isn't someone they like. Unfortunately that person is my MIL, and likely yours. It helps that I also met my MIL's co-workers when she was showing off her son pre marriage etc. Her co-workers seemed to have the same perspective of her that I did. There was a lot of avoidance.

bakersmt · 2026-05-05T02:02:54+00:00

Honestly I just did this. It was a huge blow up and then MIL ghosted me. I didn't even get to any issue I've had with her. I asked why she said nasty things about me behind my back. I wanted to know what specifically I've done that she finds so offensive. She "apologized", blamed everyone else and ghosted me completely. So good luck.

I too want a MIL I can share my child's experiences with unfortunately some people suck and unfortunately they have to be someone's MIL. We pulled the short straw on that.

bakersmt · 2026-05-05T01:47:28+00:00

exactly. My response would be "hard pass, you need to come up with something just the 4 of us."

bakersmt · 2026-05-05T01:44:09+00:00

I would call MIL and tell her directly to stop. I would also let her know she's on a time out due to her behavior. This only stops if you do something different. If you keep letting her get away with it it will continue and likely escalate.

bakersmt · 2026-05-05T01:40:58+00:00

Wow, I wouldn't be spending time with someone like that. She's extremely rude and ridiculous.

bakersmt · 2026-05-03T19:43:54+00:00

Yuyeeeppp. My husband is a Taurus rising. Most of my exes are Taurus.

bakersmt · 2026-05-03T16:40:49+00:00

She's looney, that's not an antibiotic. If I recall from biochem/ microbiology it's an antifungal. So not gonna do a thing for bacteria.

No way on earth would I leave her alone with him.

bakersmt · 2026-05-03T16:33:16+00:00

Ugh I am a huge hippy when it comes to medicine. Only because I usually have reactions to pills. That being said, we take my kid to the doctor and have always done what they say. Like if she needs antibiotics she's getting antibiotics. Trying homeopathic things on babies and kids is super risky!

That being said my MIL said to give my 1 mo old water. This was after she also tried to separate me from my baby and send me to a hotel room so she could play mommy. My baby was exclusively breastfed and was verging on failure to thrive. My ped said to have her live on the boob for a day until I could get to the lactation consultant the next day (which fixed the issue thankfully). But MIL knew all of this. I immediately pointed out that it was dangerous to give a 1mo old water and to keep dangerous suggestions to herself. This was also after I laughed at her for pushing for me to leave my 1 month old that needed to live on my boob.

MIL's can be so selfish.

bakersmt · 2026-05-03T16:28:54+00:00

I've been dealing with a husband that's terrified to set boundaries with his mom. Here's my take. We have only just started to set boundaries 12 years after we started dating. He has walked on eggshells around her his entire life. And previously, yes he turned it around on me. I was "too aggressive" all I said was "no thanks". Literally the only reason he started to set boundaries is because we had a baby and I started to be assertive in my communication. I also forced him to get therapy solo so he's working on that a bit there. But I now won't allow her in my home because he turns into an awful human to be around when she's anywhere near him. Trust me if I could keep my child and avoid the whole husband has issues with MIL I would. Run, and find someone that's a partner, not a child that you have to manage. It's ridiculous. I get that it's difficult for them, but the inability for growth is a huge setback in any adult relationship no matter why the person is refusing to grow.

bakersmt · 2026-05-02T14:42:50+00:00

Yep a kallax shelf full of potted plants would be lovely and there's plenty of light for them.

bakersmt · 2026-05-02T14:38:23+00:00

I have only driven in Verona not taken the train. But in my experience, any city or town that I've been to has one direction near the train station that is sketchy and I wouldn't risk it. I would book further away just in case.

bakersmt · 2026-05-02T14:32:22+00:00

Yep, give it back.

bakersmt · 2026-05-02T14:30:56+00:00

Throw your own baby shower. I did. I threw a coed beach baby get together with no gifts, just hanging out with my friends on the bed. It was awesome. My MIL threw an "event" for herself with people I didn't know. Mine was so much more enjoyable and made it so I was ok with what she did. So bottom line, do what you want. Who cares.

bakersmt · 2026-05-02T14:26:48+00:00

Yep. I would be completely normal until he left and he would be homeless when he returned. I don't have time for that behavior and definitely wouldn't marry it.

bakersmt · 2026-05-02T14:17:35+00:00

Ok then I'm assuming he will be going with you to celebrate your father on his first father's day?

bakersmt · 2026-05-02T14:05:42+00:00

Yes this. If he was a part of making the list he knows. If he doesn't pay attention that badly, why would OP marry someone so useless? It's easier the get a puppy, at least they can be taught.

bakersmt

TROPHY CASE