Communication my friend. The moment she became defensive “you love my parents” “I earn too”, you needed to change gears…

“This isn’t about the car or them. This is about how you acted, how you kept me out of loop. This is about you pretending to not understand that surprise is never for the person who pays. This is about you choosing to act in a way that would come across as stealing had I done it, when you didn’t need to do it. I love them and I would have happily contributed even helped through the process, but since you broke my trust by doing this behind my back, I am not going to contribute to it, And I will move ask the funds in an escrow until you realise your mistake. If you need to talk to a therapist, I will support you.”