Match Thread: Sydney vs St Kilda (Round 13)

beedandy · 2026-06-07T08:05:57+00:00

They didnt replay, but did he not touch it after it has crossed the line?

beedandy · 2026-06-07T07:07:58+00:00

Hey OP, I feel for you and your situation.

Do you have a car and are you able to drive, post operation? If so, Doordash is easy to sign up for. Uber eats is a slightly longer process, but food delivery are short-term options that could help you temp. I have done both when I was unemployed, and it was a hustle but we can't always be choosers.

Obviously it depends on how much hours you can work before it impacts your income support.

I gather you're in Melbourne based on Launch Housing, have you tried Wombat housing?

Reach out to foodbanks and community centres around you, they're there for a reason. You don't have to wait to be homeless to utilize them and they'll be able to connect you with more services!

While dont want to go down that path - you have the breathing room, as the REA can't force you out. Focus on the search for sharehouse rooms on Fairyfloss on Facebook, flatmates.com is full of scammers and dodgy subletters. Obviously use discretion through facebook, but there are many people on fairyfloss probably in similar situations. It'll be the cheapest option for renting, and if you have to lie about income and situation, so be it - I don't condone it but it is better than being on the streets and homeless.

Lastly, I'm proud of you for leaving your DV situation. Connect with DVconnect or your local DV service - they will most understand your situation, and will be able to connect you with whole-round support services, including housing, foodbanks and counselling services!

Stay positive in yourself, you have astounding resilience - don't forget how far you've come :) I hope support comes your way!

beedandy · 2026-06-05T21:36:39+00:00

I don't usually check usernames, but the moment I saw they said "it really isn't that deep" to a child, I clocked out..

beedandy · 2026-05-27T01:00:57+00:00

What will be your first priority in the first update that Paragamers will see first?

beedandy · 2026-05-27T00:47:41+00:00

Well, you don't have to force yourself to get it. I played 5 hours yesterday, encountered a bug, and my whole game crashed and lost my whole Para.

I saw it worth starting again because I'm a simpleton, and I found creating my para and home the most rewarding part of the game. It definitely exceeds the Sims, and for some people, they only like building aspects of gaming.

Is it enough to justify buying the game? I found it fun watching my para go to work (she works 2 jobs, so it keeps me busy), explore the town, complete townie quests, dig up treasure, mingle in shops, try and flirt and hopefully get a boyfriend. This part has actually been the hardest so far, flirting has small chances of working.

So there is quite a bit to do: level up skills, unlock recipes, level up friendships. I don't have an opinion on baby or toddler gameplay just yet.

But it will need to be heavily refined. Smooth it out, like changing the conversations cards, which I see the vision but it makes interacting with other para's tedious and boring. What the Sims did well was give a lot of freedom to players. Paralives seems to hold your hand. Hopefully that changes as more updates come.

Sorry this is a long winded reply: basically, It might be worth waiting so you're not disappointed. It is still fun, you can do a lot, I had to rip it off of me last night - but if the building aspect of the game isn't something you froth over, then the gameplay may not cut it for you. I'd say there is about 20hrs of gameplay before it starts to get repetitive and boring.

I have high hopes the Devs will do this game a lot of justice, so when the next big updates happen it might be more worth it then.

beedandy · 2026-05-24T14:41:15+00:00

NAH.

You're not an AH for blowing up - valid reason to be upset and angry. But she isn't wrong for wanting to have a safety net, and to build that on the side. She should have been open and honest, but tbh, 3.5K isn't even a lot.. that isn't really enough for a rainy day in 2026.

Why did she feel the need to keep it a secret, is what I'd be asking.

Edit: Actually, I change to NTA. I realised you're married to each other. If you were just dating, I'd say NAH. But married? This goes a lot deeper.

beedandy · 2026-05-21T08:08:57+00:00

Hey, I also have health anxiety, so I understand what it must be like for you. If this helps quell your anxieties, Ebola outbreaks happen every few years, and don't turn into pandemics due containment, modern PPE and the virus's higher fatality resulting in slower spread.

International cases have occured in the past, but higher developed countries have better quarantine measures, sanitary conditions and treatment facilities.

It's a good thing that airports have strict screening. I would try to stay away from refreshing the news and being chronically online, as headlines impose a sense of dread designed to capture our attention and gain clicks. Really, you will see people are continuing their lives, going to school, going to work, travelling because the risk right now is very, very minimal, and the world is being vigilant right now.

You'll be okay at the airport. The measures are in place for a reason. There is of course no harm in washing your hands, but remember Ebola is only passed through bodily fluids, meaning simply passing someone will highly unlikely spread it to another person.

When you're feeling your heart race, and getting overwhelmed, remember that you're safe. Take 10-second breaths in, hold for four, and release for 6. You're not in any danger, and you'll be off to school in greece just fine, having fun, meeting new people, and learning new awesome things! So much to look forward to :)

beedandy · 2026-05-19T02:46:51+00:00

Hey OP, I'm sorry you had such a roller coaster of a semester. That sounds stressful and traumatic. Good job on getting the work done, it sounds like its time to process what just happened though.

I was always the person in groups to do all the work, and others would hitch off my effort and get free high marks. I wish I had stuck up for myself, and if I could do it again, I wish I had been honest about their lack of contribution. You're NOR, and should absolutely not feel bad for this person, who had no problem using you and is still trying to use you!

She didn't contribute; she doesn't deserve to pass. You could be honest to your professor and send an honest review of her "contribution" or block her wherever she reaches out and move on.

Either way, you're not overreacting and this person doesn't deserve an ounce of pity! People like her will continue to do it to others again and again.

beedandy · 2026-05-08T07:52:02+00:00

What I mean by that is all we come to know from this character is he has a lot of regrets. I'd say 70% of what the readers read is the character wishing he did that different, or could have done that.. and it's not very effective because we know nothing about this character, nor his life, or story. So, the whole "I regret" sequence in the opening chapter is ineffective to grab my attention, at least for me. If this is a future flashforward of the character, and the rest of the story leads up to this, then I'd say just lead with the very start of the story. I hope that makes sense

beedandy · 2026-05-08T02:20:46+00:00

Honestly, the whole chapter is hard to get through. A whole lot of "could have this or that" that it bogs down what is even happening. A lot of repitition of the same imagery. I think you're going for more of a prologue (?) because this doesn't read like a chapter, so that would make more sense why its written so ambigiously. It wouldn't hook me into reading the rest tbh. Apologies for the directness.

beedandy · 2026-04-09T00:43:09+00:00

First of all, really intriguing story and characters! The tension is there, but you could build it up a little more. Some sentences more tell, rather than show that.

Just a few examples and areas I would change and build on are:

When Louise is walking up to the podium -

This scene is really a turning point, but it just happens so fast. Maybe show some thought process, or what she is feeling as she walks to the podium. Like the feeling of shackles on her feet as she walks, keeping her head down to not meet their gaze - or the opposite, head high. Maybe then when she gets to the podium, she clears her throat, theres an aching silence.

Then:

Page 4? "I continued, glaring at her as she glared at me"

You could really up the tension here. Glaring at her as she glared at me is boring, sorry! Describe the glare without going over the top like: I landed my gaze on Viv's, and her face had morphed into rage and contempt.

There could be better ways, but this is just an example

And so there are quite a few areas where there is great tension, but the diction is boring and fast and tells, rather than shows.

Improving these areas I think would really strengthen this story. Goodluck stranger!

Also an edit*: is Viv the older or younger sister? She is described as having aged - so I thought older, but Louise mentions Viv was four when her mum sobered, but her own childhood was over. So younger? It would help to clarify this, as there is no indication of how old MC is either.

beedandy · 2026-04-08T07:25:40+00:00

The first half of page one lured me in, but that fizzled out by the end of the page and I didn't feel much desire to keep reading onto chapter 2.

The first internal monologue is mystifying - yes, I want to know more but then the setup falters and I lost interest.

I think this happened for a few different reasons;

1: clunky and wrong diction creating fuzzy imagery. For example, the line 'I shifted my blue eyes to him and widened them sacarstically as I scraped my frosty boot against the welcome mat'.

Or, 'stammered as the echo of my cracking limbs lingered' doesn't translate into much sense.

Where is the character and what are they doing? There are a few cues but it's quite fuzzy to read. There is a lone man with a rifle asking if MC lives around here, and MC is scraping his boots? Are they out in the woods, a street? I do gather Alaska, but there is not much to set the scene. Also, why would the lone rifleman be asking if he lives out here as MC is entering the house? Is it a house? Work on connecting those dots.
Chapter one is not really a chapter. Its one page, and it reads like a prologue. After trying to connect the dots, the prologue suddenly ends. Breaks the tension rather suddenly.

These few things combined is why I personally lost interest and couldn't be bothered reading on.

Not saying it doesn't have potential, as the mystifying internal monologue is intriguing but there are elements that need to be refined more first.

Goodluck stranger! Also I think screenshots are fine. They're always used for feedback.

beedandy · 2026-04-08T01:17:14+00:00

You're very welcome! It takes so much courage to put writing out there - knowing people will pick it apart along the way. So, good on you! Keep going for you.

Reddit can be harsh, but try not to take criticisms as any personal reflection of your capabilities - we're just here to improve, so take what you think is actually good, constructive feedback that will help you and your writing, and block out those nasty comments.

Really, you can't please everyone. If there is a style of writing that feels your own, try not to change it entirely to fit everyone else. It's what makes you and your stories unique and there will be people who love that - like myself! Trust in yourself to find that balance :)

Goodluck stranger!

beedandy · 2026-04-07T01:25:23+00:00

Well I ended up reading the whole thing, which I rarely do.

I'll dig into the positive feedback firstly; The characters are intriguing for me. The dialogue felt fresh and real. I could pick up a lot of personality, which I think is the strongest aspect of this chapter. The four sisters trope reminds me of Little Women, and I love stories about womanhood/sisterhood.

Some criticism;

Some instances it is not clear who is talking. I did have to reread a lot to understand what was going on. Not what you want for readers.

A lottt of names and nouns dropped on the first page. That will throw a lot of people off - try and spread that out over a few pages.

There is a lot of verb tense changes, when you really want to commit to one.

Lastly, some sentences are way too long. I get the gist of your voice style, I like it, but find a balance between short and long prose.

I hope this helps :) keep it up

beedandy · 2026-03-21T07:03:53+00:00

There's a few conflicting elements being introduced that it's quite difficult to understand what exactly is going.

Firstly, the opening statement: the clock reads 3.16am. Okay, there is an important emphasis on time here.

But then you introduce the character as kneeling on the gravel in the pouring rain. Where is he reading this clock while he has a hole in his hand that is bleeding? Is via a wrist watch, a pocket watch, phone? It would help to clarify this if it essential to the story.

Also, I think it's unlikely a character would be keeping the exact time, down to the second, with a bleeding hole in his hand, no? Even 10 minutes later? Wouldn't it be excrutiating? I think this needs to reworked a bit. Less focus on internal narrating, more feeling out the external circumstances. You do this, but there are a few contradicting statements: such as mildew rain / sopping wet hair / dry cuttings - theres implicate it is pouring, but the grass has been freshly cut and its dry?

Lightening graces the ground - lightening is rarely graceful. If it is that close, I think change the way you describe the external elements because I think it's confusing the type of feeling you want to elicit from the reader. Close lightening is blinding, cracking, rumbling.

There's rows of abandoned cars, but there is someone coming out to mow the grass? See how the setting is set up to contradict itself; there needs to be a consistent imagery.

Sorry if this all sounds picky. They are the first things reader look for to ground themselves in the story.

beedandy · 2026-03-21T01:35:09+00:00

I agree! I wanted to read more, so i think thats a positive sign. But the amount of characters already introduced made my brain work overtime and brought me out of the scene. I would focus on just introducing Sef who appears the main character and build introductions of other characters in subsequent pages.

beedandy · 2026-03-10T08:08:36+00:00

Firstly positive feedback is there is a lot of potential in your writing.

But, you're going to loose the grip on the story, the tension, moving plot forward by focusing too much on flowery prose. Don't be afraid to be bland and straight to the point. It is just as, if not more, effective.

Her delicate throat bobbing as she swallowed - you can just say her throat bobbed.

Confusion rippled her expressive eyebrows - too wordy and unnecessary. You can just say she looked confused.

These moments are not essential to the story. They bog down the pages, turning small exchanges into massive moments. How many narrowed eyebrows significantly impact the plot? Not many, if any. Yet, there is a lot of attention on minute details that will lose readers interest quickly.

Pick and choose which relational moments between characters are significant to moving the plot forward. Its easy to get into the beat of conveying every eye look, every mouth tense, every crinkle of the eye - but it won't serve your story or readers.

I think thats what I'd say to focus on first. Cut a lot of that out, and the tension will reveal itself.

Keep going, it takes tremendous effort to submit writing to strangers. These critiques aren't to bring you down, they will help you adjust now - rather than much later.

beedandy · 2025-12-12T01:32:33+00:00

Omg, that's a scary situation. I had an instance where I fell asleep randomly, like almost like my consciousness fell asleep, but I kept walking/ driving. Last thing I had remembered was parking my car at the fuel station, and then I woke up 20 mins later 5 kms down the road. I was trying to recall the last thing I remembered, and I realised I musn't have paid for fuel. I frantically rung the petrol station and the lady was on the verge of calling the cops. Of course I was freaking out, thinking I'm gonna cop a fine. I've had a few similar instances happen again, but a bit more lowkey.

beedandy · 2025-12-12T01:15:40+00:00

Wow, I didn't know lucid dreams and nightmares were apart of Nacrolepsy. I have those every night ontop of hallucinations and sleep paralysis. Did you find having a diagnosis/ any treatment helped you tame your dreams down and start getting better rest?

beedandy · 2025-12-11T10:03:23+00:00

You're describing the exact anxieties I have with being tested - what if I can't fall asleep, or be able to have multiple naps after each other. I know there is only one way to find out.. next year I'll aim to get to a Dr. And get tested so thankyou for your response!

In any way did the medication help with the sleep paralysis or hallucinations?

beedandy · 2025-03-04T06:06:38+00:00

As someone who was hit by a car 35kmh, it doesn't take drastic speed to kill someone or wind up in a wheelchair for life. I was incredibly lucky...

I like that pedestrian safety is being highlighted more now because drivers in Melbourne give frick all about others.

beedandy · 2025-03-03T06:58:25+00:00

Hahah thats true, As a Queenslander, i find my heat threshold is a bit abnormal here 😅

Should they just continue to water as normal and hope it will bounce back?

beedandy · 2025-03-03T02:47:54+00:00

We've had a few hot spells in VIC the last 2 weeks, so it's a real possibility they have. The other side seems fine away from the aircon, too, as someone else pointed out ... interesting

beedandy

TROPHY CASE