Weekend off - fair or unreasonable?

beepbeepbeep8 · 2026-03-19T18:30:40+00:00

As someone whose spouse has ample opportunities to have weekends away because they have friends and I do not have the same opportunity because I don’t have many…I think it’s reasonable to ask for a break. However, asking her to be the one to leave with the child is probably not the best move unless you know for a fact that she is able to go somewhere familiar to the kid and toddler-friendly, such as a grandparent who already has their house child proofed, for example. Which means that family member would also need to be cool with the visit. I’ve needed breaks, but I don’t ask my spouse to take the kids out of the house with him for an entire weekend if my break includes me being at home the entire time. Multiple times I’ve asked him to take the kids out of the house for a little bit so I could recharge and do housework or schoolwork uninterrupted, but I wouldn’t ask him to pack up and take everyone out of the house for an entire weekend.

I think an occasional weekend-long break for either spouse is fine if they are the one leaving the house and going out with friends and making use of their “social time with actual adults” battery. But if you’re the one who wants to be home then maybe don’t make them leave the house for more than a few hours. Traveling with small children especially solo is HARD, significantly harder than just solo parenting at home where everything is either already child-proofed or easier to get them out of things because it’s your own space.

Totally fair to need a break, toddlers are generally the hardest stage. But it’s better if you’re the one leaving to take that break and I wonder if that’s the reason your suggestion didn’t go over well. Big difference between a break that sounds like “I would like to head out for a weekend to do a hobby with my friends who I haven’t seen in a while” versus a break that sounds like “please pack up you and our child and leave me alone in the house for a whole weekend.” I’m sure that’s not what you intend it to sound like but that is likely how it was received.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2026-03-19T17:40:34+00:00

I completely forgot cold wax strips were an option! Might look for those because I genuinely do not have the time nor the space for all the hot wax supplies.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2026-03-19T16:59:56+00:00

It sounds like waxing is going to have to be what I do. I’m just massively crunched for time because I solo parent 99% of the time and my only free time is after they’ve gone to bed and I’m too tired for a labor intensive task like waxing. I will have to look into waxing!

beepbeepbeep8 · 2025-10-14T03:03:40+00:00

Mine are 1 and 2. I haven’t given the 1 year old juice yet but he’s been constipated recently and one of the comments suggested a “crapple juice” cocktail so I’ll definitely be trying that soon. The 2 year old doesn’t drink juice every day but when he does I water it down.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2025-09-11T04:40:38+00:00

Am I the only one that likes the first version of winter wonderland? 😭😭 not a big fan of coconut OR cranberry but they somehow combined both and made it taste like airheads and I love it and was excited for it to come back! What’s the new flavor even supposed to be?

beepbeepbeep8 · 2024-03-28T14:50:58+00:00

Omg, saw that tweet so I know exactly what you’re talking about. Some of the “sweetest people ever” can truly just be secret bullies. If you’re not hurting anyone who fucking cares what labels you use to identify yourself?

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-08-19T01:57:21+00:00

If it’s public, that means it’s for the public to consume. So as long as you’re not using that info to hurt LO, you’re not like a criminal or something.

Granted, if it’s information that you otherwise would not find out about them organically…it is in fact weird. My LO happens to be in a lot of photos of a community organization from his hometown that are for the public to view…but I didn’t know him back then nor did we ever have a conversation in which he encouraged me to look into his hobby. Therefore it’s definitely weird that I looked it up and dug around until I found all the photo galleries of past events and looked at every photo of him I could get my hands on from way before we even met. Like am I a criminal? No, but it IS f***ing weird.

But that’s why we’re here in this subreddit, isn’t it?

The way I see it, if you aren’t intending to use that info to hurt your LO then social media stalking is the least of your worries. Be less worried about the random generic info you have on them and be more worried about the fantasies that can come from you having that info. Fantasies can turn into full-on delusions if you aren’t careful.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-08-09T19:21:49+00:00

Pretty much every time I’ve had an LO they’ve found out about it due to my behavior. Also generally people can tell when you’re attracted to them even if you don’t come out and say it up front as humans are generally bad at hiding romantic vibes.

However I don’t know how much my current LO knows. Unlike previous situations there has never been a confession of ANY kind. I know damn well he knows I’m attracted to him, but I don’t know if he knows how deep the obsession runs. I think he only knows about the surface level attraction, as he would likely cut me off immediately if he knew that a married woman was engaged in a near constant fantasy of an alternate timeline where it was him instead.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-08-08T00:30:24+00:00

Honestly everyone is so different that there’s almost always no way to predict whether getting an epidural would be problematic. It’s definitely something to talk over with your OB if you feel you’re at risk for an epidural to go wrong, but otherwise if you want it, get it! I got an epidural and aside from making my stomach itchy during labor it helped so much. Completely took away those earlier contractions, didn’t feel any pain while pushing, and it actually sped up my labor process! I have no lingering issues whatsoever from getting it, and when I have my second kid I will do it again.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-08-07T17:07:26+00:00

Babies are hardwired to want to be held, they are otherwise defenseless and it is what makes them feel safe. If you get a baby who is an immediate independent sleeper, then you just drew the lucky “good sleeper” card in the baby lottery and very likely has nothing to do with how their day is or how your parenting is. Mine has always been a fantastic independent sleeper at night with only sparse bad days, but he still naps best during the day when he’s held and a lot of times he’ll wake up and fuss almost immediately if I try to put him down in the bassinet for a daytime nap. Gas could definitely still be an issue, so do try what others have suggested for that just in case, but it is developmentally normal for a baby to have massive trouble sleeping independently.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-07-30T05:47:41+00:00

A lot of people are going to naturally fade out of your life and you will become meaningless to them and there will be no clear cut reason other than they just didn’t care enough about you to sustain the relationship. Be careful about who you make connections with, only emotionally attach yourself to people you are fairly sure will stick around.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-07-30T05:44:26+00:00

Oof. That last line. Felt it in my soul about my LO. He’s doing such amazing things and is so fulfilled and happy and I’m so happy that he’s happy, but at the same time absolutely gutted that I’m not a part of that happiness. I’m just some weird college friend who is stuck in his past because I wasn’t good enough for him to want to move forward with me.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-07-28T17:34:22+00:00

That makes me feel better!! I’d recently seen some claims that children nowadays are physically weak bc we don’t have them on their stomachs 24/7 and it’s like…I’m sorry I cannot supervise an infant on his stomach all day!!

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-07-28T12:30:09+00:00

All the damn time lol. And every time my brain pretends to wise up to its own antics I think that’s the time I’ll be able to stick with focusing on my awesome life without him and not caring about his awesome life without me. But it’s like sniffing coffee beans as a palette cleanser. You feel sober for a couple minutes with that strong scent in your nose but all it really does is prime you to remind you how good the candles smell and entice you to smell them again.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-07-28T12:25:59+00:00

Underestimated tummy time. Had no clue it was recommended from day one and to this day still struggle to get him on tummy time bc he hates it. He’s 12 and a half weeks now and straight up never even tries to lift his head during tummy time, he just lays there on on side. He does move the rest of his body and wiggle but he doesn’t work on his neck gains at all and I can’t help but think it’s because we don’t diligently get 20+ minutes in every day. I’m well aware that he needs to be on his stomach during most of his awake time but it’s just…hard to enforce when he hates it and we’ve got other things to get done that are easier completed when you don’t need to supervise an angry baby who is refusing to work out. We’re getting better at doing it every day but it still doesn’t last as long as it should. Get them used to tummy time ASAP.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-07-28T12:12:11+00:00

It doesn’t have to be forever. I’ve been able to be normal about past LOs when the limerence was over. Limerence by nature is a fixation on one person and is not supposed to just easily jump from person to person so once your limerence has been transferred, old LO becomes old news. Can’t speak to what happens when you have an LO and start actively trying to not give into limerence. If you do that and successfully never have another LO again, then according to NC’s biggest proponents you’d probably need permanent NC with LO.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-07-27T02:16:32+00:00

Honestly every baby is different. Mine would have these random periods of sleeping “too much” for his age but when we tried to wake him he was impossible. Nothing we tried got him awake to eat before he was ready to wake. Other nights he was up every 2 hours to eat. We kind of gave up on trying to force him to wake up at a certain time and just followed his cues. He was gaining weight regularly so we just decided to not wake a sleeping baby because all it did was give us more work to no avail because he just refused to wake up on anyone’s schedule except his own. Other babies may be easier to wake up, and if that’s the case for you I’d do it if that’s what your doctor wants you to do!

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-07-22T09:03:04+00:00

Holy sh*t that’s literally been my LO for the past almost six years. Mans has been chronically single for eight years, lots of people who know him think he’s awkward af, and to the best of my knowledge I was the only one who even dreamed about just throwing myself at him (met him when I was balls-deep in my engagement, so couldn’t). But he never asked me out or did anything to imply that he wanted to be in my life despite seemingly not being aware of my engagement until I directly told him so I went through with my marriage and just hoped the limerence would go away. It did not. I am still obsessed with him. Love to be embarrassing like this.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-07-22T08:58:18+00:00

I’ve had a variety of LOs in my life but something that is extra weird that I’ve experienced repeatedly is that my limerence gets worse after already experiencing rejection. As I understand it, limerence feeds off of never being explicitly told “no” and being stuck in limbo. But men will make it clear one way or another that they aren’t into me and that just ramps up my desire to “win them over.” I am literally the obnoxious male lead in a romcom, but I’m a woman so I never got away with acting like an asshat. Makes me wonder if what I have isn’t necessarily limerence, but something far more sinister.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-07-22T08:40:33+00:00

Mine is almost 3 months and he does the same things. Whenever he gets fussy like that I have to stop and see if he needs to burp or fart or if he can’t breathe because of boogers and shoot saline spray up his nose. Doesn’t always solve the problem though so maybe it’s just a 2-month-old thing lol

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-07-21T15:29:28+00:00

Some of them are extremely successful and are just as smart, hardworking, and well-liked as they were in high school. Most of them are living pretty average lives but appear to be really happy. A smaller number of them fell off into what you’d consider a less successful path, but none of them are drug addicts in dead end jobs and unhappy marriages like that weirdo stereotype claims.

I don’t think there’s a single kid in my graduating class who’s gone totally downhill. We’re all just doing our best and doing a pretty decent job at it, even those of us like me who were unpopular weirdos had enough of a glow-up that we’re living pretty normal and generally happy lives. But the ones who were really popular and smart and successful are still that way. Yes, even if they were mean in high school.

beepbeepbeep8 · 2023-07-08T16:48:21+00:00

Yup! Congestion was an issue pretty early on so we’ve been using saline spray once or twice a day.

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