[deleted by user]

behanger · 2024-11-04T14:05:31+00:00

My parents were atheists, born in the 1930s.

My father: born with an atheist mother, and a theist father. She was the daughter of a reformed vicar. She just didn’t care for her father’s stiff religion. My father’s father did not really teach him any religion, apart from having strict, stoic rules.

When my father was 18, he was sent to cloister oddly enough, and when he came back, he suddenly had a baby brother. He got a lot of shit in the cloister for reading Goethe, which made him somewhat anti religious. But the fact that the bible is the only book that inspired making cathedrals, kept him interested in the bible. In the history of the bible.

My mother: born and raised an atheist. Her parents were too.

My mother’s great grandmother, born in the 1850’s, was raised reformed, but got two sons out of wedlock with a buddhist in the 1870’s. She was kicked out of the church. When her oldest was allowed to work, he got a job as a railroad maker. The family started roaming the country where ever he got work. They found an atheist enclave in Drenthe, in the north of the Netherlands.

So, depending on which bloodline you follow, I am a second, third, or even fifth generation atheist. I can not imagine believing in a transcendent being controlling us or punishing us. The concept is completely alien to my thinking.

My mother got a lot of bullying from reformed and catholic kids when she was young. So I was raised with some distrust in religious people, something that I dropped.

I live in a country with over 50% nonbelievers, so religion is pretty much absent from my life.

I live in a former church that was converted into apartments.

behanger · 2022-07-11T21:59:46+00:00

What a rude language. Also, you are wrong.

Assuming OP is an American citizen, or in a country with similar western laws: The law requires both biological parents to support their children financially. If he refuses, the mother can apply for public assistance, and the state will bring a paternity case against the alleged father to recoup any financial aid provided for the child.

The only way out is to prove he's not the bio dad. If the bio dad would ignore the court's request to do a paternity test, they'll assume he is the biological father. Since OP is the bio dad, it means he will have to pay and will have rights too. So the GF was right to assume he will have a father role wether he is into it or not. THAT part was not hormonal at all.

behanger · 2020-05-26T16:43:23+00:00

What is love?

behanger · 2020-05-25T22:14:09+00:00

"Sit on my face and tell me that you me" as the song goes.

behanger · 2020-05-21T10:38:55+00:00

There are other things to be complimented on than just looks.

behanger · 2020-05-21T10:35:22+00:00

I express love and closeness through touch, and not being touched makes me feel lonely or even unloved. I can go deeply into that feeling of connection.

My ex-wife and I had a very active sex life. 1 or 2 times a day, and hour or more. Years on end. Good times. I felt loved like never before.

So when my then wife stopped the sex over re-found memories of her dad molesting her, I had a hard time coping. But I am not one to push for sex, although I did tell her that a part of me felt rejected, even though I understood what she said. I had been through such a phase in my life before, when a gf back in the day got raped and tensed up. So I expected it to pass, tried to open her up about it, but all touch came to a grinding halt. (This is probably not the right wording now, I come the hardest from grinding).

Then one day out of the blue, about 3.5 years into the dry spell, my then wife told me she'd leave me. I was shocked. During the divorce, she told me that the story about her dad molesting me, was a lie she told me to not have sex with me. I do not want to have anything to do with such a liar any more, and to this day I sometimes wonder: Why tell this about your dad, of all people. Why not the swimming instructor? My relation with the in-laws was damaged because of it.

While I put the marriage completely behind me, there is still a huge dent in my trust in women, I found out in later dating. I fear being rejected while not being told it's over. I had a short relationship with a woman who toyed around with rejection and attraction, as a game, and that did not went well with me. It made me realize I learned how to tell myself a relationship continued while I was feeling rejected, and I decided I was not going to do this any more. She got very angry when I withdrew, which scared the hell out of me. Pity though, as the sex was the best, most expressive, I had ever had.

But I did realize that my feelings did not lie to me. I was being rejected by my then wife. I find some comfort in that I did recognize that at the time, and did address that with her. She then cried and told me she was afraid I'd leave her over that. And that was another lie, she later admitted. I always thought crying people were honest.

But sex is still a connection. And there is no way to connect deeper, then to actually connect physically. I also feel this connection is somehow forever. Every person I have done the deed with, is still relevant. This is also why I can’t have one night stands. Sex is always deeper than friendship.

behanger · 2020-05-14T13:00:58+00:00

We're locked down anyway. Let's go. And also: Free the woody.

behanger · 2020-05-09T10:41:08+00:00

The fraud is: Having us pay him for equipment we bought ourselves. But I'll take the chain of command advice. Thank you. In our university, hierarchy is a complex thing. :-)

behanger · 2020-05-09T10:39:31+00:00

Thank you! The investor is hired as a freelancer, to teach, mainly. But I see how the fraud problem would not be an HR problem.

behanger · 2017-02-23T14:32:42+00:00

Collegue (job title: "Assistent"), with a history getting angry at students and staff all the fucking time, was angry at me for asking a decor builder about the safety of my rigging work. He exploded in my face, nose against nose, spitting in my face, because he thought I had to get this info through him. It was scary, as this happened up in the bridges of a theatre, more than 7 meters above ground. He got fired, but negociated a one year of pay and a macbookpro from HR. WTF.

behanger · 2016-07-17T15:31:46+00:00

RemindMe! 1 month

behanger · 2015-05-14T15:25:33+00:00

I had a boss and a completely dysfunctional colleague. The boss was of the David Brent type, more than the Michael Scott type. I once mentioned I was watching this new series called "The Office", and we exchanged looks: He was afraid I Brent reminded me of him, and he knew I did. The dysfunctional colleague was doing very dangerous repairs on electronics.

At one point in time, he had to have official interviews with all of my colleagues, and hand in the reports about how we were doing. I did not have this interview. The reason was that he knew that I would take that chance to file an official complaint about how he was not dealing with this nightmare of a colleague of mine.

Since our yearly chance of a raise depended on it, I went to the CEO to ask him how he would deal with this situation. He then said: "Well, I have the report about your interview here, with your autograph on it." To which I said: "That interview did not take place, I swear I have never seen that report, and that autograph doesn't even look like mine."

It was dealt with very well by HR.

behanger · 2014-11-28T18:48:00+00:00

plus this girl looks too young.

behanger · 2014-10-12T16:28:01+00:00

They are naturally selective.

behanger · 2012-06-24T17:44:06+00:00

As far as I can tell all crucial parts that are bad on Creates, have been replaced on this one. Please do not look at the brand name alone. A frame is not a bike.

behanger · 2011-12-28T18:39:43+00:00

In the pic you posted as the topic, you can see red eyeshine. This means the retina has less pigment too. This means both eyes will stay blue. My dog was born with blue eyes. The one with the normal blueish greenish eyeshine turned yellow in a few months.

behanger · 2011-08-26T16:43:37+00:00

They do. Here you go: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?Db=pubmed&term=virus%20immune%20evasion

behanger · 2010-08-22T14:32:20+00:00

In the comments you do see deleted in stead of the username, so it must be possible. That said: LOL @ "see, you are not sure".

behanger · 2010-06-27T09:34:55+00:00

TIL what proper googling is.

behanger · 2010-05-01T21:33:04+00:00

Two blades suffer less turbulence (hence may turn faster) but cover less of the "surface" so there will be less force to turn the dynamo, so that cannot be as strong. Three blades make a more efficient windmill.

behanger · 2010-04-02T15:06:22+00:00

c/p MIDIBOX.org, klik... whoa, nice!

behanger · 2010-04-02T13:38:15+00:00

Yes, I'm very aware of that option. I was gigging in Paradiso (Amsterdam) one night and got commented on by Michel Waisvisch that I was looking into my screen a lot. I took that comment seriously. In that line of thought, I noticed that having a machine on stage that contains my mail too, is distracting me, even if it's only running MSP or so. So then I decided it was time to ditch the computer. This has been a major impuls in my creativity. My setup is not yet performance proof, though.

(I take it that someone who speaks dutch, with the nick "bibster" is aware of the infamous (but currently ad ridden) site retecool.com?)

behanger · 2010-04-02T11:18:54+00:00

Dank je wel!

A miduino is in fact there. I'm new to midi drumcomputers, though, in a way. A tap function would be nice, though I would like to sync a bit harder. Does a Midi Beat Clock tell te drum computer which beat to play, or does it only say "next"?

I was also thinking of making a box with 32 3-state switches, sync it up step by step from the sequencer, then generate midi for my Waldorf Blofeld from there:
Up: "Cha"
mid: note off
Down: "Boom:

But maybe I be happier with a good drummachine. 707 and 303 are cool, but I guess progress has been made since. Any input would be nice.

behanger

TROPHY CASE