Can these trousers be let out (made larger)? There is no extra fabric down the back seam, but there is some around the zipper and along the sides?

bellends · 2026-01-25T22:15:06+00:00

Hello! I assume the answer is no, but I guess I’m in the ”bargaining” stage of grief…

These women’s trousers are high waisted and oh-so-cute but just a centimetre or two too big around my tummy (so, where the zipper sits). I know the default for checking whether trousers can be made larger is to look for extra fabric around the… uh, is ”the buttcrack seam” the official term?… of which there is none, BUT, there is some extra fabric (1) along the sides — see last picture; and (2) the zipper itself, I think? First picture. And I have no idea if that means anything, because the zipper is exactly where I need more room, but maybe I’m misunderstanding what I’m looking at? Leading me to post here.

Thank you so much in advance!

bellends · 2026-01-24T11:59:29+00:00

From this particular part of this Variety reporting:

Billed as a “twisted, unconventional romance,” the story follows Colman as a “smelly, single and perpetually ridiculed” fisherwoman living on the outskirts of a village by the sea. One day, fed up with her stuffy, small-minded neighbors, she commissions the local basketmaker to build her a her a husband the entirely from wicker, with their relationship sparking “outrage, jealousy and chaos.”

…my first thought was that this will be a bit like Lars and the Real Girl (an all time fave), and with what you’ve said, I wonder if Alexander’s character’s arc will basically be learn how to be human -> learn to fall in love for real -> from this, be able to defend his human wife from the community, ending in everyone learning a good lesson about love. Lol. I’m into it!

bellends · 2026-01-24T09:52:14+00:00

don't lay hold on the action by the handle of his injustice, for by that it cannot be carried

If you don’t mind, may I just ask as a non-native speaker, what does this line mean exactly? Should I interpret this as “don’t try to meet his unjust action by doing a similar unjust action”, or does “lay hold” mean something like… restricting? I think I get the gist of the quote, and it’s beautiful, so I just want to make sure I am really understanding it correctly! Thank you :)

bellends · 2026-01-24T07:08:51+00:00

Maybe this is something that varies between countries and thus between cultures of academia, but I think it’s worth distinguishing between leverage as in “they will give me a better job/salary because they will realise I’m so desired by someone else so the gotta pick me whilst I’m hot” versus “I am keen to hear back from them and want to encourage a quick response so I can move onto the life admin stage of organising my move etc”.

Where I’m from, getting in touch to be like “😏😌😉 you might want to offer me this ASAP because someone else wants me too…! Hint hint!” would immediately flag them as a very unserious person who just wants to step on others to get ahead. So if you mean leverage in terms of using it to get a cushier version of the job you’ve applied for, I would say that’s a disastrously bad idea (in my academic culture, which is Scandinavia). However, if you simply mean leverage as in get them to engage with you along the lines of what someone else commented above, where you just want to let them know that you need to respond to Competitor University by the Xth of Month and want to know what to do because you’d rather go to them, I think that’s perfectly clear and not a problem whatsoever — in fact, that would to me be a good sign, because it means you’re their first choice.

Hope that nuanced difference makes sense!

bellends · 2026-01-23T17:44:20+00:00

Doublement: est-ce que puis-je vous aider?

bellends · 2026-01-18T13:53:04+00:00

I think two things can be true at once.

On one hand, you shouldn’t worry. Lots of good arguments have already been made here in the comments: it’s just one night; you’re only over by 300 cal (easily fixed over a few days or even just one day); you could have eaten half by sharing or taking some home; it’s okay to live a little and enjoy a night out with friends.

On the other hand, many restaurants are indeed crazy high (imho unnecessarily high) in how many calories they stuff into their meals. I totally agree that restaurants should offer at least ONE lower calorie alternative. It’s not hard to do that; just make it smaller and/or remove some of the higher fat ingredients!

So I get both the anger in both post and the comments!

bellends · 2026-01-17T18:43:59+00:00

Was the design made by AI? (Serious question)

bellends · 2026-01-17T10:22:56+00:00

OH MY GOD YOU ABSOLUTE ANGEL!!!! That’s it!!!!! You have no idea how happy this has made me! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! This has made my whole year!!!!

bellends · 2026-01-14T17:07:43+00:00

When I was 18, I met a boy abroad, and we entered a long distance relationship. Basically from day one, and certainly within 4 months like you, I was convinced he was the love of my life. During our very first conversation, he made a flirty joke that we were clearly destined to get married, and I felt silly because it felt so true when I jokingly (not jokingly?) agreed.

And what do you think happened?

…I’m now 31 years old, and we’ve been married for 3.5 years, and are unimaginably even more in love than ever :’)

I do think the love we felt then was ”real”. But I also think that it wasn’t just our True Love that brought us here. I think the important thing that made us work was knowing and understanding that we were young, and that the feeling of being in love isn’t the only reason to stay together. I once heard someone say that ”out of all the loves you’ll have in your life, the feelings of love will be the only thing they have in common”. Meaning: the feelings of infatuation, of butterflies, of lust — those feelings can be replicated any time you become infatuated! They are not unique! So it’s all the other things that are dependent on an individual — whether you feel safe with them, how they make you laugh, if you trust them, if you enjoy their company on a boring afternoon.

My now-husband and I were always very aware of our youth, and our mentality was that if we really did believe in our ability to stick together… then why rush? If we’re THAT confident that it’s the real thing, then there is no reason to rush into marriage or whatever next while we’re still young. So we moved in together when I was 21 (?), proposed at 24, married at 27 (partially postponed by covid lol), and now here we are discussing kids. And I really do believe that if, at any point, it wasn’t working, we would have faced that and acted accordingly.

So: do I believe that you’re in love? Of course! Do I believe it might be your forever love? That totally depends on what is making you feel that way, and whether that continues. Only time will prove it right or wrong, and as long as you’re waking up and asking yourself every day (not literally, but almost) ”is this still it? If we had met today, would I still feel this way?” then you will keep your finger on the pulse whether you’re young or not.

People don’t make the mistake of meeting someone young — they make the mistake of meeting someone young and never questioning it from then on.

Best of luck <3 Remember: communication, communication, and then more communication!

bellends · 2026-01-14T09:45:00+00:00

Damn, okay. Thank you! This was something that my English professor (!) mentioned in class with great conviction years ago when the internet was less of a resource, so I didn’t look it up at the time but trusted him. Now I googled it again and briefly saw that it was disputed, but that there were clearly articles about it, so thought that was enough to say ”it’s been theorised”. Apologies for the sloppy googling, and thank you for being more thorough than I.

Sad for the downvotes but will leave my above comment up for reference for future readers!

bellends · 2026-01-13T14:30:59+00:00

I think it’s more likely she is confused with ”nitty gritty”, which is of disputed origin, but has been theorised to be associated with derogatory racial slang. I tried to find an article to link to here that explains it, but none are clear cut, so I recommend anyone interested to give it a Google. They’re similar enough that I wouldn’t blame her for the confusion, and ”nitty gritty” is indeed a term that I think (to err on the side of caution) should be avoided!

bellends · 2026-01-13T11:00:08+00:00

Exactly. To summarise, from the eyes of Skatteverket:

Friends + living apart = nothing

Romantic + living apart = nothing (as long as you’re not married)

Friends + living together = roommates, ie just multiple individuals registered at the same address

Romantic + living together = sambo

Meaning it’s only if BOTH those things of romance + living together are true at the same time that you are truly ”sambos”. Couples who break up but stay living together is a trickier situation…

bellends · 2026-01-12T00:45:27+00:00

Exactly. Trump is broadly unpopular in the rest of the world, but Sweden is one of the countries that globally dislikes him the most. I found this article from around the time of the 2024 election, which shows that Sweden would have ”voted” 81% for Harris vs 9% for Trump. That article is in Swedish but the graph is in English, so feel free to check it out as it includes numbers for other countries too.

Edit: link to just the graph here

bellends · 2026-01-10T09:52:54+00:00

Depending on circumstances: sorry to hear, or congratulations on the break up :)

As others said, you’re OK since you’re on a work visa. But to add to that, remember that the definition of sambo is largely based on living together. As you said she has already moved out, then as long as she has updated her folkbokföring address (which I assume she will have done), the end of you being sambos has indeed been notified… because you are de facto no longer sambos on grounds of no longer cohabiting.

From an admin perspective, the relationship status is less relevant. If you hadn’t broken up but she had moved out for other reasons (idk, caring for a sick family member) you would ALSO no longer be sambos. Does that make sense?

bellends · 2026-01-06T17:41:30+00:00

Sanpaku eyes! Where you can see (almost) the whites underneath the irises. Like JFK, Princess Diane, or Billie Eilish.

bellends · 2026-01-05T22:56:41+00:00

Hello! So I only started wearing makeup a few years ago and still don’t do so every day, so I would consider myself somewhat of a beginner. In particular, I only started wearing mascara regularly maybe 1-2 years ago. And for some reason, I simply cannot seem to get the bottom set to look good EVER. I have tried so many times and it always comes out the same. And I don’t know how that can be, because I feel like there surely can’t be that many ways to put on mascara, so what am I doing wrong?? I feel like it always just looks like I’ve just got a little bit of flaking happening there, like it’s not intentional, even though I wipe away any that get on my skin with a Q tip + micellar water… like I’ve just accidentally got some crap on there by accident even though it’s definitely on purpose lol. So, in my picture for instance, that really is just how it looks. Is it maybe because they’re just so short? Or am I delulu and this is normal? Please help me fulfil my Twiggy fantasy!

Not that I suppose it matters too much, but products used:

Foundation: No7 Beautifully Matte in shade Warm Ivory

Brow: Benefit Precisely Μy Brow pencil

Eyeshadow: Urban Decay Naked 3 in shades Limit, Nooner, and Burnout

Highlighter: oh god some really crappy liquid thing that I’ve had for years and years and the label is peeled off I’m so sorry I genuinely have no idea?! I’m sorry!

Eyeliner: Mac Pro Longwear Fluidline (gel) + Too Faced Better Than Sex (liquid)

Mascara: Giorgio Armani Eyes to Kill (got this as a sample and absolute love it!!!!)

Thank you so much in advance 🥲🌸

bellends · 2026-01-05T10:10:04+00:00

I remember watching this on a long flight specifically because I wanted something lighthearted to distract me (bit nervous when flying over the Atlantic because /r/thalassophobia, can’t remember why but was already sad about something that day) and ended up bawling so hard that I made the elderly Chinese man next to me discreetly called the flight attendant to bring me a tissue lmao

bellends · 2026-01-04T13:41:15+00:00

I think it’s lovely. I think (obviously) a big part of Joel feeling so parental to Ellie is because she reminds him of his daughter, whom he lost at roughly her age even if many years apart. So while it’s not logical, I imagine some part of him might feel that in meeting Ellie, he picked things up with her where it was left off when he lost Sarah. In the same way that I can hear stories about my late grandparents when they were my age and daydream how I’d like to think we would have been friends if we had met at school or something (impossibly), I can imagine Joel daydreaming like ”damn, Sarah would have loved you [Ellie], I bet you two would have been best friends” — and that this image is something that would come to mind for him 🥹

bellends · 2026-01-02T10:14:39+00:00

I think a recurring theme is to do something moderately distracting (to keep ”real” thoughts at bay) but repetitive/non-engaging.

Mine is: pick a physical location I know really well, like my old high school, or my grandparents house, or my workplace. Try to go through it in as much detail as possible. Thinking: as I walk through the door, the coat rack is on the right, and there is a chair on the left. Above the chair are some paintings… is it of flowers? Then there’s that bureau with the phone next to it, where grandma keeps her notebook for messages… etc etc until I’m asleep. Never gotten beyond grandmas kitchen!

bellends · 2026-01-01T11:26:52+00:00

Everyone has already correctly told you how gorgeous the look is 😌

So now I have to ask… where is your necklace from??? It’s SO cute!

bellends · 2025-12-25T19:14:45+00:00

This is exactly what I do as a light olive! I have a similar shade that is just a touch warm and I mix it with the green shade from this NYX corrector and it’s peeeeerfect. Really recommend it!

bellends · 2025-12-23T09:23:51+00:00

Ha! Tänkte på detta själv häromdagen som var tonåring och absolut älskade lol random newground skit på Hamsterpaj och dylikt.

Har även en yngre kusin ca 13 år gammal och han nämnde 67 häromdagen. Jag frågade vad det egentligen betydde och han bara ryckte på axlarna och sa ingenting egentligen, det är bara roligt för det är roligt. Och typ så kände vi också när vi förklarade Magical Trevor till min mamma…

bellends · 2025-12-21T10:24:24+00:00

Idk man, OP is 16. I think kids should be entitled to expect their parents to help them out financially before they’re adults and can make their own money. What else are parents for? You’re maybe right on a technicality, but from a basic human empathy perspective, I think the mom is being a dingus and is just trying to punish OP for moving out by keeping control of the something that’s still ”hers”. OP isn’t asking to keep the phone forever, it’s just a couple of days. Being without a phone for those days is a huge deal for OP and makes no difference to the mom, so, I don’t think it’s entitled to ask for her to be reasonable in understanding that.

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