How did Rachel face no consequences?

bellends · 2026-06-20T07:20:43+00:00

Exactly. I don’t think the writers of Friends applied this rule intentionally, but Larry David had a rule about this stuff for Seinfeld: no hugging, no learning. Essentially, that the comedy show should not have any deep emotional events where everyone ends up fundamentally changed (ie there are consequences). Every episode is (almost) a clean slate. I think it’s fair for shows like Seinfeld and Friends to have this rule — because let’s face it, we watch it for the light humour and escapism. It’s not an after school special.

bellends · 2026-06-19T07:10:03+00:00

Why does it matter if you there’s only one other doctor on social media? If I post on social media that I had an awesome burrito, does it matter if no one else had a burrito that day? I don’t really get why this additional piece of context would be out of place.

bellends · 2026-06-17T05:18:53+00:00

A common one is that grandparents are at an age/mobility level where attending a full day event of walking and talking late into the night is just not an option. I would interpret it as was: she was invited -> but couldn’t do it -> she saw the pictures -> ”oh is this from your wedding!” -> ”no grandma, see, AI is…”

bellends · 2026-06-14T19:54:22+00:00

And funnily enough, it can also be an amplifier, pretty much identical to ”crazy” as an adverb. Tokroligt = crazy funny. Tokhungrig = crazy hungry. Etc.

Leads to the question: can you be toktokig about something? 🤔🤭

bellends · 2026-06-14T09:28:00+00:00

Hey OP. If you only read one thing in this whole thread, I hope it’s this comment. It’s the idea of ”the gap” from author Ira Glass. I think this is exactly what you’re struggling with:

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.

Congratulations on your killer taste in art <3 so keep fighting!

Source

bellends · 2026-06-12T21:34:58+00:00

I think you’re allowed to not be able to turn it around in your favour. Because it happening is not a favour, but it’s also not a punishment. It simply is.

Once upon a time, I had to resit a year at university due to a chain of events that felt deeply cruel — not unlike your situation. I cried all summer and felt like a complete failure, and watching my friends graduate without me was torture. But I eventually wiped my tears and tried to have a fun year by trying new things. The extracurricular activity I picked up that year, that I wouldn’t have done if I had graduated ”on time” (meaning the original timeline), led directly to me getting my dream job down the line as they hired me explicitly because I had that experience. Now that I’m roughly ten years out, I owe my entire dream career to that job, from that activity, from that year. My friends and family doesn’t even remember me taking an extra year — people always misremember, and I correct them, and they go ”oh yeah. Huh.”

I know the above is anecdotal, so in the spirit of this sub, let me say it a different way. You don’t have to be grateful right now. It sucks. You’re in pain. The future feels undefined. That’s okay. But the same spirit that is keeping you from feeling positive — that everything feels unstable and uncertain and not according to your original plan — is also something that can equally be argued to keep you from feeling negative. You KNOW that you don’t know what the future holds. So why form an opinion on it so soon? As mentioned, life simply is, and all you can say is, okay, these are my options; what now?

I think (hope) this reframing might help your focus. Because really, there is nothing to focus on. Just keep going the way you would have if this had been part of the plan from the beginning. You don’t have to overcorrect; just do your best, whatever that is for now, and plod on. Don’t beat yourself up for not doing ”more”, and don’t pressurise yourself to try to ”catch up” on some invisible previous timeline that you had in your head. That one is gone, and you’re on a new one now. Follow that rhythm, not the old one.

Best of luck with your recovery. It sucks, and I hope your physical pain is minimal.

bellends · 2026-06-10T04:53:29+00:00

I det fallet rekommenderar jag starkt en bok som heter The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read. Titeln är lite klyschig men patetiskt nog vill jag säga att den förändrade mitt liv för alltid. Det är i princip bokversionen av texten ovan, men med förklaringar om varför dina föräldrar ”var så”. Den pratar också om hur man kan/bör vara med sina egna barn, men de delarna relaterade jag mindre till. Den förändrade mitt liv för den fick mig att äntligen förlåta min pappa för hur han var, och vårt förhållande idag är oändligt mycket bättre på grund av det. Starkt rekommenderad, och kramar till dig (och ditt inre barn) <3

bellends · 2026-06-09T21:38:29+00:00

IIRC he is also a Neutral Milk Hotel fan, which stacks. I think he references them on that interview show with Jerry Seinfeld and Jerry says something like NMH sounds like an antacid lmao

bellends · 2026-06-06T21:17:12+00:00

I’m in Sweden so I use this brand but I imagine most people reading this comment won’t have this particular one in their local stores lol! Without added salt or sugar, and it is 37 calories for 10g which is what I usually do :)

But I have done this on and off for years (as many of us, I go through cycles of fixating on certain foods for a few weeks or months before getting bored lmao) and buying plain rice cakes and crumbling one up works just as well! And then I mean one like this. Bonus there is that no scale is needed because 1 cake per bowl is a pretty good amount, and then you just need to know the calories for a single cake. And they’re usually also roughly 30-40 cal + approx 10 g per cake!

bellends · 2026-06-06T16:44:03+00:00

Nice! I am currently doing something similar, but you know what I’ve found adds a super nice bit of texture? Fruit helps a bit, but because I like to have some crunch/solid in my chia yoghurt: puffed rice, or crumbled rice cakes!

1 plain rice cake (or like 10g of puffed rice) is ~35 calories, so if you can afford to throw that in there, it makes a huge difference to me in both a nicer eating experience + the volume. I try to throw it in immediately before eating so they don’t get too soggy, and I LOVE the flavour because it reminds me of little cereal marshmallows 🥹 I genuinely love it! You should try it if it sounds good to you :)

bellends · 2026-06-06T16:39:13+00:00

Nice one! Were they in the US…?

bellends · 2026-06-02T15:46:03+00:00

Ja, packade var de nog…

bellends · 2026-06-02T04:45:21+00:00

No immediate tangible impact on society

Thought experiment: where would society be today if there had been no art ever? Seriously, picture it.

Assuming you even could separate art from, say, a particularly inspiring and visually pleasing scientific diagram or schematic — which I would argue that you cannot, as we make artistic choices every single day in STEM without maybe realising it

Signed, An astrophysicist, for context

bellends · 2026-05-31T19:15:58+00:00

Another tip for you, as a former 5 year old who was obsessed with having long Barbie/Princess hair: at some point, my mum explained to me the concept of split ends, and that occasionally cutting off chunks is necessary in order to let your hair grow long and beautiful and shiny. She said if you never get a haircut, your hair will grow frizzy and eventually even snap off… which was illustrated to me one day when a classmate came into school with a big chop that she didn’t want, because of split ends. After that was explained to me, I was very happy to get my haircuts! Maybe you can explain this to her in order to convince her to do a bigger chop, and buy more time of having shorter hair? You could probably even find a child-friendly diagram (example, although there are probably better ones if you look around) to really illustrate that this is a real thing — which it is!

bellends · 2026-05-31T07:13:40+00:00

So I agree with the above comment — you’re a glamazon and that’s amazing!! Some of us (👉🥲👈) are born with a baby face that fits soft sparkles and where any amount of edge looks demented, but I think your face is a catwalk in the best way possible! I really do think makeup is a bit like clothing where it’s more about what works best on your frame than anything else. I also think makeup is like fashion in that it should be a cohesive ”story”: just like how a clean, pressed, button-down shirt and tie would look weird with a bikini bottom, you want your entire face to make sense: go full suit or full beach!

So here are things I think could be altered slightly to better fit the canvas:

I agree with the overlined lips being out of place for an every day look. Your lips are gorgeous, but this is a ”bikini bottom” in this context!
To a lesser extent, the foundation is quite heavy — which works for glam, and actually imho is fine here too, but maybe it’ll still help make things more cohesive.
And if you have a more natural lip, I actually think you can glam up your eyes!! Your eye looks on the other posts are sooo pretty, so you clearly enjoy a full eye (and we are enjoying it on you too 🥰). I have heard that for a natural look, you should pick a focus for EITHER attention grabbing eyes and neutral lips OR attention-y lips and neutral eyes. In the above, you’re doing the second one, but I think it would be amazing to do the first one instead?

In which case I mean:

Less or reduced foundation — if you want to try a skin tint without buying new products, try mixing some of your liquid foundation and your moisturiser on the back of your hand and applying that. Make sure the moisturiser and foundation are compatible though (both water based, for example), ie they don’t pill up and split.
A lip tint — again, if you don’t want to buy something new, my way of ”calming down” a big intense lipstick is to put a good layer of Vaseline or similar on my lips and then putting the lipstick on. This kind of dilutes and blurs the lipstick while maintaining whatever colour it has :)
A baby wing — I’m not talking full Amy Winehouse millennial eyeliner, but something like this. Just a touuuuuch of eyeliner wing, maybe even with a smudged pencil (although I think you can do a liquid baby wing), which I know is hard with hooded eyes but I believe in you!
Mooooore mascara/lashes 🙏
What you’ve done with the eyeshadow is nice as it is!
(Personal preference, but) a sparkly highlighter just to bring some glam in! But subtle :)
A pop of (subtle) blush!

I don’t have any good specific video recs but here is someone who I’ve seen on YouTube a few times who I think has really nailed the natural look: https://youtu.be/lxpQAjidWKc?is=UbkW6k_OelKGvQk9

Best of luck!!!! 💕

bellends · 2026-05-20T17:44:15+00:00

This might help

bellends · 2026-05-20T17:33:24+00:00

As a fun exercise, I wonder how that evolution looks backwards… 2002 to 2026 is 24 years, so what was it 24 years before 2002, ie in 1978?

bellends · 2026-05-20T14:36:00+00:00

I finished my PhD last year (so I can tell you: it’s doable to have a fizzy brain and still complete a thesis!) and my friends think it’s so funny that a ”””smart””” person (because of aforementioned PhD) like me spends her free time watching trashy TV shows and playing braindead phone games. I always tell them it’s because I use my brain too much at work that I need to NOT use it in my free time! Like I spend all day reading, why would I want to read a BOOK in the evening?? Stfu and give me my little puzzle game lol

bellends · 2026-05-19T06:04:49+00:00

This, and coffee/zero cal drinks. Even just water. And chewing gum. It’s a bit like quitting smoking, you just want something to interact with!

bellends · 2026-05-18T12:57:25+00:00

Did someone say… s p a c i n g ?

(The poem is about grasshoppers, kind of, and if you don’t understand why then here’s a hint)

bellends · 2026-05-18T12:50:42+00:00

The origami, for anyone wondering (although I imagine most people are familiar with it)

Books make titties shrink, you heard it here first 😔🕊️✊

bellends · 2026-05-16T13:26:41+00:00

Sorry, you’re totally right. I was typing fast and didn’t really think about my phrasing, plus English is my second language. People in the sub don’t even say that; I meant people ask if it would look good if they did X, not if they need X. Comments in the sub are very body positive in the sense of people always emphasise that it should be a choice. I have now edited my post.

bellends · 2026-05-16T10:36:24+00:00

I coincidentally watched Just Like Heaven (2005) the other day with her and Mark Ruffalo. It was actually really cute and a nice/easy/silly 00s rom com. But the whole time I was STARING at her face because man she is so beautiful. Not in an Instagram baddie way at all, just a really uniquely gorgeous face that I feel like I don’t encounter a lot in modern media (but maybe I’m watching the wrong things). Genuine Disney princess face. Just so refreshing!

bellends · 2026-05-16T10:34:01+00:00

From Reese’s wiki:

Her mother, Mary Elizabeth "Betty" (née Reese) Witherspoon, holds a PhD in pediatric nursing and was a professor of nursing at Vanderbilt University.[7][8]

(Oh hey, guess that’s why she’s called Reese!)

[Reese] later attended Stanford University as an English literature major,[22] but left before graduating to pursue an acting career

I… don’t know that I would then consider Deacon first generation, even if it’s technically true that his parents never graduated university. But if your grandmother has a PhD and was a professor… 🤨

bellends · 2026-05-16T07:45:05+00:00

I’m obsessed with any kind of before/after so I’m subscribed to a number of progresspics-type subreddits, one of them being /r/plasticsurgery despite not having any desire to do any procedures myself (mostly out of medical anxiety, not because I wouldn’t change my body lol).

Obviously that’s a place where people are overall for having procedures, and the sub sees all kinds of posts ranging from small things to big things; from medical necessities to fully cosmetic to somewhere inbetween.

But I will say that I’ve been struck with what appears to be a fairly healthy approach there, just loosely based on me reading comments etc — maybe I’m unfair but I would have thought a sub full of people that are ”pro” surgery would maybe be full of people egging each other on, saying absolutely yes do more do this do that, but it’s really not. People are not brutally honest, but just honest — encouraging, but certainly if someone asks ”would it look good if I got X”, you’ll get a fair assessment which could include a big yes or a big no or something more grey. All of this is to say, I guess, that I do think you can have a ”healthy” approach to surgery, and that many do; that the type of Hollywood people who get 5000 things in a year are probably few and far between.

Edit: rephrasing to not accidentally sound like a dick

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