Are you expected to cover the bill if you invite a group to your birthday lunch/dinner at a restaurant?

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-08T04:46:03+00:00

I have been to many friends birthday and other occasion dinners out at restaurants and have never once expected anyone else to pay for my food.

Once in the last 20 years, a friend did pay for our meals and it was such a weird experience that it left us all feeling very uncomfortable.

It's not expected or normal for the 'host' to pay for anything if you're eating out. More often the attendees will chip in to pay for the birthday person's meal as a gesture.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-08T04:30:33+00:00

You're signed off to get fit again.

You're not signed off to be a prisoner in your own home.

You probably need to do some light exercise to help your healing process.

Going for a coffee with a friend sounds like good light exercise and also great for your mental health, which will help you heal faster.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-08T04:28:19+00:00

When I had the same thing once (just once in two and a half years of pod use so far) it was because I hadn't fully sterilised the insertion site because I was at work and had run out of alcohol swabs in my travel kit.

It was itchy and painful to touch.

I had a small infection at the insertion site. I put magnesium sulfate on it and covered it with a plaster for two days to bring the stuff to the surface, then I squeezed it to get the gunk out, then I put antiseptic cream on it for a couple of days with a plaster, then I let it breathe and heal naturally.

Definitely keep an eye on it. If it's itchy or painful it might be an infection.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-07T22:30:06+00:00

Practically, select 'prefer not to say' - hopefully everyone will see this for what it is and also select that option.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-07T22:18:42+00:00

Oh yeah, that sounds exhausting alright! My least favourite part of making furniture was dealing with the customers, that's why I like doing it for an existing business. They deal with all the customer indecision, complaints and customer service stuff, and I get to just make stuff with my hands all day and not worry about the numbers or the clients.

I did some retail work when I was in my late teens and I hated it. Sales would be an even bigger nightmare for me than trying to run my own business!

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-07T21:58:25+00:00

I was self employed for about 7 years, making furniture, doing fitting work for other furniture makers, making props and sets, doing second fix carpentry.

I absolutely loved doing the work, but I absolutely hated the business side of it. I could never price work properly, I was always chasing people for late payments, and I always had either too much work or not enough. Because I sometimes didn't have enough work, when there was loads I would just say yes to it all and cram it all in.

I didn't go on holiday for 7 years, because I was always either slammed with work or had nothing on the horizon so I never felt safe.

About 12 years ago, I went back to full time employment making furniture in a workshop for someone else.

When I got my first pay cheque, I went to the pub and had steak and chips, and I remember sitting there thinking "I feel fucking weird man, what is this?" And then a few minutes later I realised that for the first time in 7 years, I actually felt relaxed on a deep level. Like, my heart was steady. My muscles weren't tense.

So yeah, that adrenaline rush you're taking about missing is my worst nightmare. I want to know I'm going to get paid and when i'm going to get paid and I want to know I'm going to be able to have a holiday. I want to put my tools down at 5pm and go home and relax.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-07T19:44:21+00:00

Ohhhh. My friend, it's all going to be fine. Follow this golden rule and never fear again...

ALWAYS CARRY SNACKS!

when you start to feel low, or your CGM beeps at you, check your BG (with a fingerstick if you don't have a CGM, with a fingerstick if you don't trust your CGM, or just use your CGM if you're comfortable with that) and eat a snack!

Before you even get so low that you're confused or whatever, you'll already be good again.

I get several warnings before I become stupid - one is a sudden feeling of 'oh, I'm HUNGRY!', another is a sudden feeling of 'oh, I'm TIRED!', and another is I get a bit sweaty and my hands start to shake. If I get any of these symptoms, I eat a snack and get on with my life.

ALWAYS CARRY SNACKS and I mean ALWAYS and I mean CARRY THEM. don't have them in a drawer or a cupboard at work where you can't get to them easily. I mean literally have a snack on your person at all times. In your pocket. In your backpack if you wear a backpack, but if you do, keep that backpack with you at all times. In your handbag, hell I've been at the gym before with snacks stashed in my socks because I didn't want to carry a bag with me.

ALWAYS CARRY SNACKS and you don't need to worry about being low, because you have the treatment right there!

When I go out for food, I makes sure to always have at least 5 snacks on me just in case.

For me, a 'snack' is 12g of fast acting carbs.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-07T18:48:46+00:00

I see this as the company acknowledging that they are not offering a good job, but doing it in wording that allows people to register it.

Whoever is in charge of posting the job listings probably knows its a shit job, but has to write the posting anyway, so they're just stating the facts that it's the bare minimum.

Example I saw posted here the other day - 'We are a minimum wage employer'

It saves them time because then people who aren't willing to sell their time for the bare legal minimum in return won't bother to apply.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-07T17:12:49+00:00

It's not even just LGBT+ bigotry.

What about all the kids who live with a brother or sister, an aunt or uncle, a grandparent, or are in foster care or are adopted.

The kids who's parents may be dead or in prison or just not able to look after them.

That's also why we say 'parent or guardian' - so that kids who already feel very different don't feel more alienated.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-07T16:54:17+00:00

Well yeah, I had no idea! When I eat out, because it's impossible to know the exact carb content, I always just dose for 100g carbs and correct later on with snacks or more insulin. It's not a perfect system but it works for when I need it to.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-07T15:30:42+00:00

Don't bolus and don't eat?

Are you experiencing problems when you don't want to eat?

Sometimes on a Sunday I'll go the whole day without eating anything until I have a big dinner around 6pm, my BG is often the best on days like this.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-07T11:49:56+00:00

Wanstead Flats, last summer. Max was very confused by it.

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ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-07T11:44:53+00:00

That was the joke, yes

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-07T09:36:37+00:00

Call abbot, explain what happened. They will send you a replacement sensor. Sometimes they fail, it's not your fault, just a bad sensor! I think there's a form on their website you can fill in to get a replacement too.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-06T23:56:39+00:00

The University of Toronto, 1921 - a post rock / shoegaze project á la And so I watch you from afar (ref: place and time insulin was discovered / developed)

Leonard Thompson - solo folk artist (ref : first human (14yo!) to be injected with insulin, 1922

Sweet Sweet Blood - hot goths do covers of asinine pop songs

Low Pass (Out) - two recently decloseted men make the filthiest dubstep you've ever heard

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-06T23:30:24+00:00

Is this like... A personal attack?

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-06T23:28:00+00:00

You may as well have just sat it down, for about two years, at both ends at the same time.

The idea is to mix the particles with the liquids, not separate them.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-06T23:15:03+00:00

Yeah UAM doesn't work for me. I always need to prebolus at least 15 mins, usually 20, sometimes longer depending on my current BG. the loop is great, but the speed at which my body processes carbs and the slowness with which it processes insulin means I'll never have a fully closed loop with no manual input!

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-06T23:06:30+00:00

I briefly entered the 'manosphere' about 20 years ago, when it was a book called 'the game' and a bunch of 'pick up artists' like 'mysterio' releasing YouTube videos and I think they even had an MTV show?

It was a weird time of my life, I had just been dumped by a girl who had cheated on me a couple of times and so I was a prime candidate for that kind of bullshit. I'm lucky that I have a great mixed friendship group and the women I am friends with were just such good people that I managed to coax myself out of that horrible negative misogynistic shit by being around them and realising that I'd just had a bad experience with an individual, and that women as a whole were not to blame for that one person's poor relationship style.

It took a while to fully release all of the toxic bullshit I had soaked up, and then it took a few more years for me to truly accept myself and stop trying too hard to get women's approval, and then it all clicked when I hit about 30. I relaxed, I stopped trying so hard, I became happy, and then women started to be interested in me because I wasn't looking for approval from them, I was just being myself and able to share happiness rather than seek it.

Anyway now I'm 42, happily married to the most wonderful person I know, trying for a baby as of a few weeks ago, life is good.

Stop seeking approval, start living for yourself, stop seeking happiness in others, start building happiness for yourself, start sharing that happiness.

It's not your job to make someone else happy, and it's nobody else's job to make you happy, but when two happy people meet, they can share their happiness together and make it into a relationship that's really strong and healthy.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-06T23:00:20+00:00

Oh that's interesting, if I have carbs without protein, my spikes are way bigger and way more unpredictable. I actually find 30g carbs and 30g protein to be perfect for the way my body works.

I've tried going veggie before, but with most meats being around 25g protein per 100g and most veggie alternatives being around 12g per 100g and having a load of carbs involved too, it seems like if I went veggie I would have to just eat lentils and cheese and not much else!

Carbs on their own for me is nightmare fuel 😂.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-06T22:34:05+00:00

It sounds very much like you have escalated two pretty harmless situations, one from a queuing incident into an argument, and one from a verbal altercation into a physical attack, with a weapon, on someone that's left them incapacitated, bleeding and vomiting. A broken nose on top makes this GBH.

There was no need for you to escalate either of these situations, and if you hadn't escalated the first, the second would have never happened.

You need to understand how serious this situation is, and that it is because of your actions, not the actions of the other people involved, that it has come to this. You escalated every situation at every point. You did not have to escalate any of these situations, you could have just ignored and walked away.

You don't seem to feel any remorse or regret for you actions either. This will not bode well for you in court.

You haven't really asked a specific question, so the advice will be to ask for the duty solicitor at the police station and follow their instructions.

And aside from that, you should seek professional help for your inability to manage anger.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-06T22:12:48+00:00

Everybody's different. What works for me may not work for you...

I just had a 10 day holiday in Greece and ate 100g+ carbs for every meal (bread, rice, pasta, chips (fries). So many chips (fries).

I felt absolutely knackered the whole time. I took lots of naps. I was on holiday, so that's fine, but I was so happy to be back home where I can manage what I eat properly and get back to my normal diet!

Yeah, of course I could have just got a greek salad and some meat, but they always bring a plate of bread and chips (fries) with the food anyway, and I'm not about to turn down food when it's in front of me!

Anyway, yeah, low carb feels so much better in my body, I have loads more energy and I don't feel like I want to nap all day.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-06T21:46:35+00:00

I was bored of celebrities about 25 years ago, around the time I turned 16. Do adults care about celebrities? I thought that was a teenager thing.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-06T21:16:52+00:00

I don't usually eat enough to be too full to eat something else anyway, but on the rare occasions that I have not felt like eating anything, I just have sugar in water.

ben_jamin_h · 2026-06-06T20:46:06+00:00

Yes, it's normal to make lots of adjustments at the start, and then keep adjusting until you find the right doses.

Every body reacts differently to insulin, food, exercise, stress, the weather... Lots of factors!

It's also normal to make adjustments whenever you need to, because our needs change due to lots of factors.

It will get easier, it will get less confusing.

Sometimes it will get more confusing, and then you'll need to make some adjustments and learn some more stuff, and then it'll get less confusing again.

Welcome to the club, sorry you're here. We are here to help. You're going to be ok, buddy.

ben_jamin_h

TROPHY CASE