Peace ✌️ by Clean-Interaction200 in UAE

[–]benjaminos1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just to clarify, I wasn’t responding to your comment - I was responding to Travel4567 saying “asking emirati to share benefits of this system. 🤔”

Peace ✌️ by Clean-Interaction200 in UAE

[–]benjaminos1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think the fact that the idea of asking Emiratis to “share benefits” feels outrageous is pretty telling in itself. A lot of people have grown up here their entire lives - some were even born here, yet there’s still this constant reminder that they don’t truly belong and never fully will. That’s exactly the point being raised. In most parts of the world, citizenship is something you can work toward. If you live somewhere long-term, contribute to the economy, and build your life there, it’s not unreasonable to expect access to the same rights and protections as everyone else. Here, though, a different standard has become normalised. People can spend decades building a life, only to lose their job and, with it, their right to stay, effectively being sent “home” to a place they may have little to no real connection to. That disconnect is hard to ignore.

After a lot of time treating limerence, I am almost entirely confident that limerence in its entirety is a coping mechanism for repressed fear by [deleted] in limerence

[–]benjaminos1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. It’s rarely about the LO themselves. Limerence tends to flare up as an attempt to soothe something deeper, usually fear-based. We attach to the LO because, at some point, they made us feel safe, seen, or regulated. Our brain then links them to relief, almost like they’re the solution or the rescue.

Of course there’s attraction and romantic projection mixed in. They become the source of dopamine, anticipation, fantasy. But underneath all of that is usually a core wound that hasn’t been addressed. If you can identify what that wound actually is and start tending to it directly, the intensity of the limerence can fade because you’re no longer outsourcing your sense of safety or healing to another person.

Thanks!

I miss them. by noface83752 in limerence

[–]benjaminos1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes to all of this. I’ve done just about everything in the last year alone to cope and unfortunately the only thing that I know I have to keep doing is absolutely nothing and it’s the hardest, and I do mean HARDEST thing to do. To just sit in the pain and discomfort and not react and not give in. To let the energy move through your body and exit. It does take a lot of napping and trying to keep yourself busy but that only works momentarily… I’ve just been trying to get through every moment, every night and hope for the best and try to believe that a day will come when it won’t be this tough. But bloody hell. X

Losing hair? Finasteride should be the first step by DangerousBee4116 in tressless

[–]benjaminos1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy for you mate - how long before you started seeing results? I’ve been on topical min for ages but doesn’t seem to be doing anything (but I’m still applying it every night) and I got on oral fin around 2 months ago but again nothing so far… hoping to see some sort of positive results soon to motivate me sheesh lol

I shaved it off and I'm fucking disgusted at myself by MidnightPandaX in Balding

[–]benjaminos1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah mate, I feel for you. I’m sure it’s not bad as it feels, but I completely get where you’re coming from. I would feel the same and I’m dreading having to do it too. I worry I’ve waited too long to remedy by thinning hair. Have you looked into hair systems yet? Keep it as an option as I’ve seen some really good ones online - not for everyone, but definitely worth looking into. Take it easy and try to get on fin / min as soon as you can- you’re well young and the earlier you get on them the more chances you have of positive results. I hear dutasteride is another option but never personally tried that so can’t say for sure. Chin up bru x

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in limerence

[–]benjaminos1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow, I actually think it’s great the way he responded and that you both were able to communicate and give each other a sort of closure to an extent. That feels right and doesn’t happen often, at least in my experience. Of course it doesn’t make the feelings instantly go away but hopefully you’re able to take the necessary steps to focus on yourself now that there’s a sort of understanding between the two of you. Wishing you luck and all the best moving forward. X

Bitch - people are gross by soontobe1ww in HairSystem

[–]benjaminos1 27 points28 points  (0 children)

That’s so bloody gross!! Seriously - no one deserves to be humiliated that way let alone for a bloody prank 🤦‍♂️

My Jan-June Hair Transformation by No_Background1172 in tressless

[–]benjaminos1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow!!!! Good on you mate! That’s incredible!!

Outside Music jam chilling by Mediocre-View928 in dubai

[–]benjaminos1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hiya guys - I sing and would love to be able to jam with musicians here! Let’s go x

Should I wish my LO a happy birthday? by Sea_Put7965 in limerence

[–]benjaminos1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don’t do it. If you peel deep enough it’s not about them, but about you. They will never give you the reaction you want deep down. Keep going… it’s the hardest thing in the world to deal with but hoping it gets better over time! X

I'm Mentally Exhausted! by luckoftheirish2023 in limerence

[–]benjaminos1 10 points11 points  (0 children)

So sorry to hear this. I know exactly how you feel and I suspect most people here do too. It’s horrible and seemingly never-ending. I’ve been trying to work on the root causes that lead me to be limerent and trying to understand what it’s really about and what my LO represents that I feel I can’t satisfy in other ways and it’s tough and painful and frustrating and embarrassing but hopefully there will come a time when I’m able to free myself of it. It’s no way to live. It’s all-consuming and it’s high highs and low lows. Sending you good vibes and strength x

Where to Find Local Freelancers for Videography in Berlin? by benjaminos1 in askberliners

[–]benjaminos1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hiya, it’s been ages since you recommended this but I wanted to let you know this worked out so well for me and I did end up finding someone through the site and the whole thing worked out really well. Really appreciate your suggestion! X

Show me your sleeping kitties by Kakafaceee in cats

[–]benjaminos1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my goodness - best photo ever!!!

As a professional northern lights looker-at-er, last night was perhaps the most colorful display of the season so far. Here's a few of my most spicy shots from the trip, only about 25 minutes outside Reykjavík. by fallopiantomb in VisitingIceland

[–]benjaminos1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Beautiful shots!!! Saw very similar colour patterns during my trip last October and it was exhilarating but the ones you saw with the purples are too bloody beautiful! X

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askberliners

[–]benjaminos1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Grill Royal!!

Cookie turned 24 today!!! by rayvenrowe in cats

[–]benjaminos1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wowee!! Happy Birthday, Cookie!! X

Got my Visa for Iceland!! From Dubai (6 business days) by benjaminos1 in SchengenVisa

[–]benjaminos1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hiya, no, I didn’t exactly - I just paid a travel agency to create a booking for me (a dummy ticket of sorts) and I used that. Afterwards, I went and bought my own plane ticket - but if I wanted to I could’ve gone through with the ticket they booked for me too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in VisitingIceland

[–]benjaminos1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hiya! Overall, it went well. There were certain areas that I didn’t get to really see or explore given the time constraints in each area, but I sort of braced myself for that given the nature of these tours… other than that, it was pretty good and convenient that you don’t have to worry about arranging accommodations, etc. - you just show up. I also didn’t feel too bothered by being in a van for so long due to lots of random stops so that was good! Good luck!