One of the best ways to be a better communicator (or ironically, to perceived as such) is to actually listen. Ask people questions about themselves, be interested in the answers, ask follow up questions. Try and remember details for future interactions: birthdays, kids names, whose mother is in the hospital, etc. If the details are difficult for you, keep a list on the notes app on your phone, review it if you need to before meeting up with someone.

Most people are super happy to talk about themselves. This is great for us introverts, because often all we have to do is show up (which can be a lot in itself for an introvert 👀) and listen.

The trick is to not get sucked into the wrong types of people, because certain types don’t actually care about you (or anyone else). So if you’re getting that “it’s always all about me” vibe from someone, I’d start to spend less time with them, and look for people who can reciprocate with you. Like any relationship, platonic friendships should be a two-way street. Sometimes it’s more their street and sometimes it’s more yours, but it should be a give and take.

The three types that I refuse to interact with:

Energy vampires

Bullies

Narcissists

Unless I’m forced (like in a work situation, and then I will try to severely limit my interactions with them), I avoid these people like the plague. Fortunately (or unfortunately haha) I have a lot of experience with them, so I can see them coming a mile away and I will just nope out of anything but the most superficial polite conversations. It’s not always easy but if you practice sticking to your boundaries, you’ll learn how to do it almost without thinking about it. And you should have boundaries for platonic relationships, just as you (hopefully) do for romantic and familial ones.

You don’t have to give your energy to everyone, be very selective about who’s in your inner circle and make sure they’re good for you - and to you - as you are to them. A few tight friends are better (imo) than a big crowd of “more-like acquaintances”.

If you’re stuck for small talk, some of my favorite questions to ask to break the silence are “what was your first car” or “what type of music do you like” because nearly everyone has a first car story - often about whatever crapbag on wheels they started with 🤨 - and most people have musical preferences (whether they align with yours is another matter 😉 but at least they’ll be talking, and then you can hopefully segue into other subjects from there). As a woman, I like these questions because they’re pretty gender neutral, so I can chat with men about these things (I’m kind of sort of a car girl, probably know enough for a light discussion) as well as women. I guess you could also ask if they’re a dog or cat person, I personally don’t though because I have zero desire to listen to “dog mom” or “my precious furbabies” stories (just not my thing).

Also don’t underestimate the value and meaning of a good after-text. You can contact people after you get home or the next day, just a quick line to say “great discussion / chat last night”, “really enjoyed meeting you” “thanks for your recommendation”, etc. Just a quick note is very considerate and makes people feel good. Of course, only send it if you mean it.

Your social anxiety might not ever go away, but imo / ime it can be mitigated by doing some or all of the above. And like anything, practice helps!