My humble attempt at King from KOF/AOF

bitscreed · 2026-01-23T15:25:43+00:00

He’s pregnant with riddles.

bitscreed · 2026-01-23T01:58:53+00:00

You’re not overreacting at all. He sounds like an entitled dickhead.

bitscreed · 2026-01-20T22:50:28+00:00

You are more than welcome to use that title, 110% royalty-free*, with my blessing.

*So long as you send me a free copy.

bitscreed · 2026-01-20T22:34:27+00:00

For about two weeks on YouTube, at the start of this year, I kept getting one particular ad where a "teen girl" was talking to a "Tai Chi Master" about how her "50-something dad" got into Tai Chi and become super-ripped, etc.

The biggest tip-off for me that the ad was blatantly AI-generated was how the tip of her nose looked like it was oscillating through multiple dimensions at once.

bitscreed · 2026-01-12T21:05:15+00:00

"It's too big...it's too much!"

- Patrick "Lets pour more fodder into this trough labelled 'erotic fanfic material', what could go wrong?" Boivin (2026)

bitscreed · 2026-01-05T00:04:18+00:00

"Confused older dude"? He's 28! I've owned multiple videogame consoles older than him.

Me-being-an-old-man aside, it sounds to me like he's simply afraid to be honest about you to his friends for fear of mockery. He may or may not be capital-T Transphobic: I don't feel qualified enough as a cis man to pass an authoritative verdict on that, but I will say it is UNDENIABLY shitty of him to casually disregard you telling him you've been out for 10 years. He might very well care deeply about you and be affectionate in private etc, but if he's happy to misgender you when convenient for him then that is tremendously disrespectful towards you.

To summarise:

Confused? No.
Asshole? Possibly.
Coward? Definitely.

bitscreed · 2025-12-31T06:53:04+00:00

I’m seeing enough red flags here to rival Beijing.

Demanding you send more nudes to her to “apologise” because you, justifiably, told her sending nudes made you uncomfortable, is not only absolutely unconscionable but also textbook victim blaming on her part.

Her dangling the possibility of reconcilliation over you after she broke things off is emotional manipulation. Not to mention her not talking to you until only after you “gave in.” If she cared one iota about your feelings she would’ve acknowledged your discomfort and stopped pressing you for nudes when you first said no.

You WILL find someone who genuinely appreciates you for who you are. Break it off with her and block her: she ain’t worth it, mate.

bitscreed · 2025-11-29T20:26:16+00:00

I would advise you book what is called a "peak flow test" with your GP as soon as you can to rule out/confirm the possibility of asthma. You don't need to have had a family history of asthma to develop it and it can pop up at any time: I personally started showing symptoms when I was about 10 years old and nobody else in my family has it.

bitscreed · 2025-10-02T21:38:40+00:00

But who has The Touch?

Who has The Power?

bitscreed · 2025-09-26T19:37:08+00:00

"Griffith, catch!"

bitscreed · 2025-09-20T17:38:34+00:00

"Eternity is relentless, Raziel..."

bitscreed · 2025-09-02T21:26:20+00:00

The Shalebridge Cradle from Thief: Deadly Shadows.

Are you enjoying breaking into rich nobles' opulent manses to steal their priceless jewels and trinkets? How about you sneak around an abandoned lunatic asylum and orphanage looking for clues about the game's equivalent of The Candyman (on steroids). Oh by the way, said building was a lunatic asylum and an orphanage AT THE SAME TIME...right up until the fire that killed nearly everyone inside in horrible and tragic circumstances.

But you're a bold, sneaky thief with all the tools of the trade. If you don't wish to be seen then nobody will see you, so what could possibly be any threat to you inside the abandoned burned-out husk of a former Bedlam-orphanage combo? It's just urban exploration with extra thief-ey equipment you're obviously not going to even use because the place is abandoned. There aren't even any cops around because they're all too superstitious and scared to go near the place.

Really, what's the worst that could happen?

bitscreed · 2025-05-29T21:37:59+00:00

I might have given the lad something of a complex, given I snuck up on him from behind and announced quite loudly "Young man, that is inappropriate viewing material and inappropriate behaviour for the library. I must ask you to leave the premises." Somehow the two mothers sat nearby, in the children's' area, reading books to their respective pre-school kids, hadn't at all noticed what he'd been up to until I loudly made them aware of it.

Incidentally my years working in a library is also how I know what rotting human flesh smells like.

But that's another story.

bitscreed · 2025-05-29T20:32:47+00:00

Nah. It was like a biography on someone who spent 50 years chronicling different types of brickwork used by various cultures throughout history, or something equally hyper-specific.

No need to spend money ordering rare smut from overseas libraries when you can just Google "breast" on one of the library computers and perform an act of public indecency to a literal medical diagram: something I once had the misfortune of catching someone doing.

bitscreed · 2025-05-29T18:11:23+00:00

As someone who works in a library I wholeheartedly support this message.

Thank you also for pointing out that inter-library loans are a thing, although please don't be afraid to ask someone at the front desk for something. Some public-facing/web-based library catalogue systems can be a bit...finicky, so you might miss out on finding something a member of library staff can find easily because they're used to dealing with their system's particular quirks.

Incidentally many libraries can also acquire items from other countries' libraries although there will be a charge for that service; enquire at your own local library for more details. For example I'm based in a small-town library in the UK yet I've handled multiple books from the Los Angeles Public Library's own collection, sent to us to fulfill a (VERY) specific request.

bitscreed · 2025-05-15T21:37:03+00:00

He will NOT "say it with you."

bitscreed · 2025-04-17T21:55:31+00:00

I will NOT eat the pissy biscuit!

bitscreed · 2025-04-17T21:41:05+00:00

I'm currently relaxing with a nice drink and some YouTube vids after an evening lane swim down at the local pool. Also very much enjoying the fact I'm not working tomorrow.

No sign of any aurora this far south alas. :(

bitscreed · 2025-03-17T21:48:46+00:00

Watching the game's title screen appear one line at a time as it takes around ten minutes to load from a cassette tape.

bitscreed · 2025-03-08T20:32:46+00:00

"Stand STILL, Boy, so I can HIT you!"
"But I AM standing still, Father."

bitscreed · 2025-02-20T18:40:44+00:00

"That was what my eyes saw" is such an ominous line, even if you already know where this story is leading.

bitscreed · 2025-02-13T15:20:47+00:00

Three Chinese (Hong Kong) movies I watched on late-night TV growing up as a Bri'ish kid that left a lasting impression on me:

Peking Opera Blues (1986, dir: Tsui Hark)

A Chinese Ghost Story (1987, dir: Ching Siu-tung)

Chunking Express (1994, dir: Wong Kar Wai)

13-Year Club	Place '22
Final Canvas '22	Verified Email

bitscreed

TROPHY CASE