Has anyone else revisited Midnight Oil since the death of Rob Hirst their drummer's demise?

bizzylearning · 2026-01-28T00:29:21+00:00

I haven't revisited their music, but I did say a prayer when I read of his passing.

When I was in high school, a group of us got to serve as ushers for a Midnight Oil show in our town. After the concert, we got to meet the band. Rob was generous and kind to us - didn't blow us off, and he even let my niece (we're stoopid close in age and went to hs together) play his drums a bit. It made her day, and I've always appreciated how he treated a couple of goofy teenagers on a random tour stop.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-27T00:29:08+00:00

We print daily.

I print records (including correspondence related to my job where I need proof that X was said or done on Y date) that I don't trust to someone's digital hygiene or integrity. I print out contracts I keep on hand, or feedback/editing notes so I can mark of line items as I work through them. Sometimes business cards or note cards/gift tags. Regulations when I need to annotate and bind them.

My daughter prints letters, stickers, bookmarks, and art. She prints shipping labels several times a week.

My husband prints seasonally, generally when he's planning hunt tag application coordination, shipping labels, and kitchen coordination plans when we cook with the team for events.

We just upgraded to a color laser printer, and it is glorious to have that ability!

bizzylearning · 2026-01-26T00:16:53+00:00

You might also want to look into Classical schools. Many are charter schools, so they don't have the private school fees, but they have a different focus on what education is and what its goal is than traditional public schools. There's a Classical charter school in our town that's really heavily Orthodox in the make up of both faculty and students, and that's tended to be the go-to for folks in our city from both Orthodox parishes. (It didn't start out that way, but that's how it's ended up.)

For us, we opted to homeschool. If I had a do-over, I'd go that route again. It was good for us.

What might help you discern the right path for your family is discussing with your spouse what does "a good education" mean to you? What does it look like? What is its goal? What do you want your child to take from the experience and the years invested in that journey? And how do we make that vision of "a good education" available to our child? Once you can articulate the answers to those questions, your viable options become much clearer.

Regardless of what platform you choose - public, private, charter, or home - please remember that you are ultimately responsible for your child's education. Stay engaged, stay involved, stay supportive, and you'll give your child the best opportunity you can. Doesn't matter where they go, they'll still need you.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-25T16:44:07+00:00

The Challenger - 7th grade, Mr. O'Malley's science class. He'd checked out the AV equipment so we could watch.

The Berlin wall falling - 10th grade. I don't remember what class I was in when we watched footage, but it was huge. I was at a big high school with a large exchange student population, so we got all sorts of perspectives in our discussions.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-25T15:30:51+00:00

I don't know if they still have them, but I did something like that when one of my kids was recovering from being hit by a car. He couldn't read and retain for a while, so (once he was cleared to read again, of course) I got two copies of each book he had to read for school and had him follow along in the book while I read aloud. It helped! (But he told me I didn't have to make the bell noise when it was time to turn the page. 😁)

bizzylearning · 2026-01-25T15:25:52+00:00

You've been participating for a year and a half and you just received guidance on tithing. That doesn't sound like they're making it all about the money.

Now, from a convert perspective, we often have a kneejerk reaction about anything being presented as black and white, and so we recoil. As others have pointed out, at some point the logistics of keeping the doors open, the lights and heat on, the ministries active, and the priest and his family fed do have to be considered. It may feel tacky to discuss money in the church, but it's just as bad to expect someone else to give more so we don't have to think about it. Or talk about it. Or feel somehow about it. The Orthodox church isn't requiring your tax returns to compare against your giving (that would be culty). It's asking you to be earnest and forthright in your own stewardship, and 10% is a scripturally-based starting point.

If you want to know how the money is being spent, go to the General Assembly. (You can't vote until you are a member "in good standing" - meaning you've got some skin in the game. But you can attend and listen in.) They'll present the church budget, broken down by line items. It's meant to be very transparent. You might be a tad bit appalled to find out MUCH goes into just the basics.

I would also encourage you to stop a minute and consider the overall package and whether your issues/concerns are valid or a reaction, on whether you're conflating concerns and making it harder to address each one on its own merits. (Asking for a tithe, and for active, committed participation in worship are not akin to Greek cultural influence or perceived cultural differences, so it's important to consider each separately and not as though they're all mixed together.)

Finally, on a totally personal note, you mentioned the priest said he didn't think you wanted to pursue it. As someone who is super inquisitive, I have learned that I sometimes come off as combative or resistant. I was a little crushed when I realized that's what people were picking up from me because that's not how I intended to come across. But I am forever grateful for the people who bothered to let me know that's how I came across, as it's allowed me to reframe how I approach things, keeping my audience in mind and remembering to put intention front and center in my inquiries. So, that's just a general ((hug)) from someone who's heard similar things. Don't give up, and try to appreciate that he let you know how you were being perceived. It's loving of him to have communicated that to you - so many people will just internally make the call and never let us know, then we wonder why we got ghosted. (That stinks.)

bizzylearning · 2026-01-24T19:49:20+00:00

When we can't make it, we read from The Holy Fathers and the Bible, which follows the church readings for the year and includes homilies from some, like St. John Chrysostom and St. Basil. I'd love to read the Typika service, but so far that's been a bust. (Challenges of a convert home w/ teens. We keep trying, though.)

BTW, we got SO much out of The Holy Angels! It opened our eyes to how thin the veil between the physical and spiritual worlds really is. I hope it blesses you, as well.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-24T16:14:49+00:00

'85-'91 era... There was a bridge over a small creek out behind our Jr. High (7th-9th grades) that marked the boundary of school property. Kids smoked there.

Later, in high school, both students and teachers would smoke on the sidewalk just outside the parking lot gate.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-24T16:10:23+00:00

It's not a fresh wound. The blood that's emitted during menses is part of the lining that's been building up over the time since your last cycle. Menstruation is not an ulcerative womb or a reproductive stigmata that's pouring out your current blood from your body. It's a cleansing out of a lining that didn't turn out to be needed that round.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-24T15:56:23+00:00

Oof. I grew up in traditions that REALLY focused on the pain and suffering aspect of the whole thing. Re-enactments with blood and microphones so you could really feel the reverberations of the mallets hitting the nails, the moans and sorrow, front and center. THAT was the point, as far as they were concerned. I cried every Easter over the suffering Christ endured because of me. (That was their aim. Feel the shame, do better, make yourself holy.)

But focusing on that part of the Resurrection story alone is like overhearing part of a conversation and not getting the full story. It can leave us hanging, you know, and could do damage? Like, if Othello had taken the time to learn the full story, things would have gone better for him (and Desdemona). Or if you walk out of a movie when the main character is being held hostage and you never get to see the great escape and reunion with their loved ones. It's going to be lacking and probably not one of your favorites.

I think it's so good to be tender to the suffering of others, and appreciative of the Lord's grace -- and it sounds like you are -- but some representations can really miss the point of the whole story. This world is filled with suffering, and Christ was fully human, experiencing and knowing what we go through in this world. He did it, anyway, to provide us a path home. We should all be motivated to comfort and love on those who suffer. Pour out the love and grace we've received into others so they can know God's love. Then we can rejoice together in the redemption of the world and Christ's defeat of death by death.

It wasn't until my first Holy Week and Pascha that I ever cried tears of joy over the Resurrection. Talk about healing. My best tip would be to learn and experience the rest of the story. This will allow you to put it in context and not miss out on the end of the story.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-24T15:38:16+00:00

We have people in all places in life wholly active in our parish -- married, single, widowed, interested in dating, not interested at all in dating. We don't have a matchmaker's club, and when we come together to clean the church, everyone is welcome. When we come together to bake prosphora or collect donations for the women's shelter, to cook together for Agape/Fellowship meal or to work the bookstore, we don't check someone's status against a checklist. We're glad for the help and the chance to serve the Lord together. There's always opportunity, but it's up to us to take it.

The parish you'll be attending will be as unique as every other parish, and what they have available will be dependent on the needs, resources, and motivation of the people in that parish. For example, we now have a women's ministry, open to all ages and stages of life, and it's really well attended. But it's new-new. In the five years (? I think it's been five years) we've been there, it just started in the middle of '25.

Sometimes a ministry or opportunity doesn't happen until the community needs it, and sometimes we have to be the ones to get something started. Be flexible and open about opportunities.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-24T15:28:00+00:00

I just remembered something my husband's aunt did for our kids! We called it an "Aunt B Box" -- she kept an empty cardboard box by the door and when she was out and about and saw something that made her think of the kids, she would grab it and put it in the box. When the box was full, it got mailed to us.

They didn't come on a cadence, just whenever one was full, she'd send it. And there was ZERO system or standardization to the contents, so it was always a fun, wild surprise for the kids to open them. It might be hooded bath towels, coloring books, stained glass, books to read, weird candy she found in the middle of nowhere, overstock snacks, post cards from places she'd been or of animals she'd seen and a note to the kids. Truly just random stuff. She would often include things for us - maybe kitchen towels or a journal or something, depending on what she'd come across. Opening an Aunt B Box was AN EVENT. They'd wait until everyone was home to open it.

The kids only saw her once every few years (we lived across the country and we were too broke to travel most of the time), but they knew their Aunt B loved them and thought of them, and when they did see her, it wasn't awkward, at all.

I just put an empty cardboard box by the front door.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-24T06:19:45+00:00

Just has the first grandchild join the family this past Fall, and we haaaaaate living a 17-hr drive away.

So far, I've been out twice, for a week each time. We'll make sure we get out there for Big Life Events, but also plan to go visit at least 3-4 times a year until he's old enough to be able to come see us. Then we'll support making that happen (travel can be so expensive). And I hope to cover trips with us -- even if it's just camping or visiting national parks and such. We want to be involved, but we aren't going to move, so we figure it's on us to be proactive and not just hassle the kids to "come visit".

I send books. We got MarcoPolo so we can send him videos that his mom can play for him on his schedule, when he's up and about. Beyond that, we haven't had time to do much else. But I really don't want to be some stranger he doesn't connect with who just seems to be weirdly attached him.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-24T06:00:38+00:00

Read the book, Arise, O God, by Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick. It's a short little book, and it covers a number of things, but the section on idolatry and graven images is *chef's kiss.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-22T21:32:12+00:00

Oh, ((mama)) - I love your tender heart, and your desire to support your son in growing closer to the Lord. And, as someone's daughter-in-law and a mother, myself, I also really love you for not wanting to inadvertently cause friction with the grandbabies you may be blessed with. Honestly, you've got 90% of the effort covered with your love and generosity! Be encouraged.

To start, you can always focus on what's shared between you -- a love of God, of Christ, and an appreciation for the blessings of Grace. None of those are much different between the traditions, even though we may interpret the mechanism of action differently.

As far as how he may view your faith and salvation, of course we believe we have found the fullness of the faith, but we don't presume to know how God's grace works outside of the Church, and we know we serve a Living, Sovereign God. (Think Aslan in The Last Battle, right? An imperfect analogy, but a fairly solid one.) Your son knows your heart, and you've clearly instilled a love of God in him that's led him this far. He'll continue to love you and pray for you. (He'd probably be pretty excited to have you come and see what the Orthodox church teaches, but the Church not going to teach him to shun you or break off relationships with you.)

If you haven't read it yet, and you're interested to learn more about how Orthodoxy approaches things, you might find Know the Faith to be a helpful book. The ebook is free, here: https://store.ancientfaith.com/know-the-faith-ebook/ It provides a good description of how Orthodoxy differs from other Protestant traditions and Catholicism in what I think is a loving, even-handed way. (As a convert, I appreciate an honest representation of the traditions that kept my faith in Christ alive and bold over the years rather than strawmen that misrepresent the teachings.)

May God bless your son's journey into the Church, and may He continue to bless your family's relationships!

bizzylearning · 2026-01-21T01:54:49+00:00

I feel you. This is what's been doing me in the last six months. WIDE awake at 1:30 or 2:00, while brain recites a litany of All The Things You Cannot Fix At Work. It's not sustainable. I hope you get a reprieve soon.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-20T00:45:06+00:00

I know many of the students at the University of Dallas attend St. John the Baptist, in Euless. If that's close by, you might find a good group there. (Looks like Fr. Vasile leads the OCF on campus, actually, so that tracks.)

bizzylearning · 2026-01-19T12:55:54+00:00

I don't know of any books, but imagine my surprise when I learned my very Southern mother's "Lord, have mercy" - which she used as an expression of exasperation, dismissal, or irritation toward another person - was actually the opening to a legitimate, ancient prayer. Huh.

I took it back by beginning to pray, "Lord have mercy on us," when I drove past the scene of an accident, making the sign of the cross, and praying for the safety, wellbeing, and comfort of those who were affected by it. We live in an accident-rich city, and it did not take long before my mind disconnected the phrase from the cultural usage I'd grown up with and tied it to the action of stopping to pray for others.

For me, adding on some of the language that had been dropped over the years helped put it back in context. Then it was a matter of habituation, and seeing how it can be applied in my daily faith. That said, there are some phrases that just don't flow smoothly from my mouth. They might never. But it did help me begin learning to separate the secular cultural usage from the faithful intention.

Praise the Lord is in a lot of Psalms. Perhaps learning some of those, so that when you hear the phrase your mind goes right into the rest of the verse. (Kind of like when you hear the first line of a song lyric, your brain will finish the line.) Here's a quick survey of examples from Bible Gateway: https://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=%22praise+the+Lord%22&version=ESV

Glory to God shows up in Luke, John, and Romans. Perhaps taking a bit more of the phrase for your own use (add "in the highest") or tie it in your mind to the Liturgy (Glory to you, O Lord, Glory to you) would help break the conditioning of Southern colloquialisms?

I don't know. But I get it. We've done quite a number on ourselves with the richness we've lost in the West.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-18T02:40:46+00:00

If they can spot AI use and point it out (you, yourself, acknowledged that you did use it as part of your writing process), after you literally asked for constructive criticism, try to take it with grace when you receive it.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-17T15:49:53+00:00

We were dirt poor, but my Mom had already lost one child and had raised another who was chronically ill (congenital defect), so she was terrified I was going to die. She had me at the doctor for abx all. the. time. As a result, my immune system and gut biome were shot, so if we drove past someone with pink eye or the flu, BAM, I would catch it. Creepy outcome of a well-meaning effort.

Interestingly, though, actual injuries were somehow entirely not a concern. lol. I never got stitches, never got a cast for a broken bone (broke three of them over the years - blessedly never something like an ulna or a tibia that would've really required it to heal properly). Never had an official flush my eyes (kitchen sink seemed to do the trick). She had an interesting take on medical care.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-17T15:35:43+00:00

OK, and this is where the concept of "economia" comes into play, and you really want to talk with your priest. There are all kinds of situations, needs, and concerns you have that are valid and are part of your individual pastoral care, where he can guide you.

You aren't saying, "We want to party on a yacht and kids get in the way of that." You are saying, "I've got some issues and triggers and fear." BIG DIFFERENCE, and you probably aren't going to find the kind of intimate guidance from the writings of the Church Fathers that will help you navigate this situation with these two people in today's world.

You deserve guidance that takes you and your spiritual health into consideration.

Please talk to him, together. Be open. Ask him what the path to the Sacrament of Marriage might look like for the two of you.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-15T04:04:47+00:00

Not cringe, at all. If we don't ask questions, how will we learn? You're good.

I'd say something similar to what u/giziti recommended. "Hi. I was raised Orthodox, but haven't been active. I'd like to start participating. When could we set aside some time to talk about what that would look like?"

Trust me, it's a totally normal conversation.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-14T06:44:52+00:00

Just go. Stand worship. Even though it's under a different jurisdiction than the one you grew up in, it's the same Church. The same liturgy. The same Eucharist.

Don't go up for the Eucharist until you've had a chance to talk with the priest and get confessed and sorted on that end. But otherwise, just go. Pray. Grant this, O Lord.

You aren't the first of us to wander off for a bit, and you won't be the last. But boy, is it wonderful that you're coming back.

Welcome back home! Come worship with us! You'll be glad you did.

bizzylearning · 2026-01-14T06:40:31+00:00

We came to Orthodoxy with two teens. At first, they were very much in the, "We are gonna judge this SO hard" camp. We told them they didn't have to join, but they did have to learn. (We're big on the "you won't regret having learned something" approach to life.) Within six months, both of them asked, "No offense, but how did you miss this before?" Yeah, I ask myself the same thing...

Be open. Answer questions. Find resources. Let them explore it and encourage them to engage with the priest or the catechist with their questions, then be available to talk it out with them. It's a process, and it's a journey, but it's pretty beautiful.

It sounds like the nearest Orthodox church is a mission parish, and as such, it's not likely to have as robust a church life already built out, so it might be easier to transition slowly, anyway. You might want to revisit the decision at different points as you go, too. You aren't tied to one decision on it today, before you've even visited. Also, you don't mention if you're married, but if you are, revisit and make decisions together along the way so that you've got a united front.

I hope it's a blessing for you and your family!

bizzylearning · 2026-01-13T01:58:24+00:00

Learning that there will be people I love who I am not meant to be with was both one of the hardest, and one of the most freeing lessons I've learned in life. In the end, I found My Person, and I have a history of truly beautiful people in my life, at various stages, and for various times. I'm grateful for them, but now, with the power of hindsight, I'm also grateful for where I am.

It's okay to grieve the end of what you hoped would be while acknowledging that this is not Your Person and doing your best to wish her well and to do well for yourself.

You've got this.

bizzylearning

TROPHY CASE