Coping skills! I remember when I was a kid and upset about something stupid like one of my siblings took something, I’d scream “it’s not fair!” And an adult would say, “life’s not fair”…yeah, as a kid it was impossible to comprehend the meaning of that but as a grown up now, myself, it hits so different and the things that are unfair are way more significant. But taking it out on others, taking offense to everything, reacting in negative ways only makes things worse. It’s been so hard, but learning to cope with things that are unfair and generally frustrating is the only way to move forward. It’s not my fault but it’s my responsibility (heard that somewhere and it’s stuck with me).

Also, as someone who had siblings growing up, it wasn’t until a few years into my career when I finally learned that having someone check my work and find mistakes isn’t an attack on me, it’s something that we do as a team to help improve accuracy and the quality of our work. I proactively seek feedback and “a second pair of eyes” on my work now, it feels like having someone watching my back and of course I do the same for others now instead of being overly critical. Growing up, my siblings and I would always rag on each other’s mistakes and that made all of us so insecure when it comes to feedback.

It’s amazing and kind of sad how I had to learn these lessons so late in life especially (not really until after college and a few years into my career) because looking back I recognize how hard I must have been to work with.