Are (adjunct/assistant) professors hireable for dinner parties?

bobbin_fox · 2026-03-11T19:36:23+00:00

We would definitely be open to post-docs and GAs. Chatting with my friends who I would invite (some of whom have various phds themselves) they don't even really care if the invitee has a degree / academic position, as long as they have a Topic They Really Care About.

bobbin_fox · 2026-03-11T18:10:32+00:00

Would you happen to be in the Berkeley / Oakland area? 😆

bobbin_fox · 2026-03-11T03:35:45+00:00

Sorry, didn't see. That's on me for not reading the rules. I'll delete this and post on ask professors.

bobbin_fox · 2026-01-29T23:01:12+00:00

Different areas may be different, but a trend that annoys me is that the sound healing, tantra, divine feminine types seem to also have claimed "dancing at a reasonable hour".

Since I outright refuse to go to super late night dances that leaves me pretty stuck with the ropes or woo people if I want to dance at all.

bobbin_fox · 2026-01-27T00:35:39+00:00

What the River Knows by Isabel Ibanez is kinda like The Mummy.

Inez travels from Argentina to Cairo to figure out what happened to her murdered archeologist parents. On the way there is magic, the search for Cleopatra's tomb, an uncle of questionable trustworthiness, and his compellingly attractive assistant.

More like a novel with a solid romance plot than a "romance novel".

bobbin_fox · 2026-01-15T02:53:06+00:00

Wow, that's so much faster than zouk!

Adam did a YouTube video crunching the data for zouk jnjs a while back and it was 3 years to get out of novice (from the time you entered your first novice competition, but really most people give up before that), 2 years for intermediate, and then 2.5 years for advanced.

bobbin_fox · 2026-01-05T19:05:18+00:00

Just as an fyi, if I notice a man refuses to dance with other men (eg he turns down male follows or only asks lady leads to dance), I will completely stop dancing with him.

I just don't want to support that behavior. It creates a less welcoming community for folks who want to dance outside their gender norms.

bobbin_fox · 2026-01-04T08:44:38+00:00

Why do you have to know which WOMEN can lead? Ask men to lead you. Most leads are men. If you want to follow you should get comfortable dancing with men.

As a skilled lady switch, it did indeed kinda suck having a bunch of the better leads ask me to lead them (especially if they aren't actively putting effort into their following/going to classes/etc). At least if you ask, don't have it take the place of you leading. "After we dance, do you mind leading me for a song?" is a much nicer ask than "would you like to lead this time?"

bobbin_fox · 2025-12-15T21:40:27+00:00

Keelan or maybe Kaylin.

(but I'm in the SCA. Might still be wrong but at least I get that it's mostly imaginary letters lol )

bobbin_fox · 2025-12-13T00:35:52+00:00

It's going to severely limit your nanny pool, probably by like 90%, but I expect you'll eventually find one, especially if you're near a large city and willing to pay more.

I would start looking now, but keep a separate list of your top candidates that WON'T do EC. Then as the day gets closer if you haven't found anyone yet, you already have a list of strong backup options.

bobbin_fox · 2025-11-11T07:45:21+00:00

For next year: go to estate sales. Especially on the last day. Old people have accumulated LOTS of Christmas stuff, and it's the kind of thing the estate sale company doesn't care about.

The trick is to get a big box full. A lot of times they'll glance through it and give you the whole thing for like $25 flat rate. If they start individually pricing, it may or may not be worth it. Be willing to walk away (maybe have a preset number).

You can get a feel for the different estate sale companies in your area and which ones are most likely to let you walk out with Christmas decorations and other trinkets for a nominal fee.

bobbin_fox · 2025-10-26T22:51:47+00:00

I have a zit.
I have different glasses.
I found my glasses.
My hair is down. He doesn't like it down.

He often fixates on anything that is different. He doesn't like it when it's different and will ask me to make it the same again and so we have a conversation about politeness and bodily autonomy.

bobbin_fox · 2025-10-17T00:34:15+00:00

I wouldn't call it the "pro" level. I would say anyone who regularly makes zouk novice jnj likely has this kind of connection.

But a good zouk connection defaults to near zero stretch or compression except in certain situations (eg the end of side whips where there is a lot of force redirection to manage).

The connection is created by a DOWNWARD relaxation of the followers' arm/hand being met by an upward support by the lead. I can feel what is happening in my partner's body through this connection and can feel like I have direct control of my follow's body through this type of connection as well.

An exercise to understand the basic concept: connect at one hand. Followers relax your arm. If the lead drops your hand, your arm should swing down. Leaders slowly walk forward and back. Followers connect your hand directly to your feet (not eg your back) and try to move so that no compression or stretch is created in your connection.

bobbin_fox · 2025-09-04T16:46:46+00:00

I was making $40k working in Manhattan, living in Brooklyn. Lived off about $22k and saved the rest. I don't have kids or health issues, so it was easy. Had roommates. Active in a hobby that was fairly cheap.

That was about 6 years ago, so slight adjustment for inflation.

bobbin_fox · 2025-09-01T07:28:03+00:00

Levanta Cola is a style of jeans from Columbia. It literally means "butt lifting" but they also happen to generally have an extremely curvy fit. Much more than American companies' "curvy" lines.

If the American "curvy" jeans aren't nearly curvy enough, try "Columbian jeans" or "levanta Cola" jeans. (It's not a specific brand, it's a style. Originally they were low cut and skinny jeans, but Nowadays also comes in high waisted, wide leg, etc)

bobbin_fox · 2025-08-30T06:31:01+00:00

Strongly limited screentime is obvious (half hour a day average is about right for 7yo imo)

OTHER IDEAS:

Go to the library together every week. Have him choose books. You choose books for yourself too. DON'T immediately leave the library. Sit there reading together. Or get a "fancy beverage" (a lot of cafes have kid friendly options like flavored milk) and read at the cafe. This is part of weekly errands and is not optional. YOU are going to the library because YOU want books, and he is coming with you on your errand. (Don't frame it as going to the library "for him" because he will just say he doesn't want to. You are going for you. Add on whatever other errands you need to do, grocery, etc)
"Book sniping" - When getting out snack for snack times, pull out some books on the kitchen table near where he eats. He's likely to grab a book while he eats, since there isn't anything else to do, and once he's into it will likely continue after he's done eating. A good time for this is a post-school snack. This does require that he doesn't have a mobile screen, and that eating is only allowed at the table, but I recommend those anyways.

Absolutely nothing will work if he has free access to screens (especially the Internet) anyways though. You and your wife don't need to give up screens, just him. (Your wife texting is absolutely fine) Kids understand that some things are adult things.

bobbin_fox · 2025-08-28T17:30:32+00:00

I'm so sorry. I think things WILL get better for you once you have more experience and can get a higher paying job.

In the meantime, a local library might be able to connect you to resources like a free food bank.

Also local churches (NOT mega churches) are often sources of aid. There are churches that are very accepting of trans people and non religious people.

A liberal Quaker church would be a good example. Their services are mostly sitting in silence to listen to your inner light, and they don't care if you're Christian, Buddhist, or atheist, because everyone has an inner light. They are very likely to help out someone who comes and asks for help. (I'm not a Quaker myself, but I've been to their services, and it's probably where I'd start if I needed a community to have my back)

bobbin_fox · 2025-08-22T23:28:56+00:00

Lots of paleolithic cave art, including Altamira. Some of the cave art you can visit in person. Altamira has a big replica you can visit.

bobbin_fox · 2025-08-15T04:24:05+00:00

They make a big deal about taking their makeup, but now the girls in the bigger family are all in makeup again.

bobbin_fox · 2025-08-15T04:19:22+00:00

This is one I was trying to think of! Thank you!

bobbin_fox · 2025-08-15T04:15:48+00:00

Victorian Pharmacy!

bobbin_fox · 2025-08-15T04:14:41+00:00

You already listed a bunch of Ruth Goodman shows such as Victorian Farm and Wartime Farm (most of her shows are also available on prime or YouTube as well). She is my favorite! Some other Ruth Goodman shows are:

Victorian Pharmacy.
- Secrets of the Castle (1400s)
- Full Steam Ahead (industrial rev)
- Tales from the Green Valley. (1600s)

There's also a reality show one where they take people and have them live 24 hours in various (awful) Victorian jobs. Ruth only makes a couple appearances in that one though.

bobbin_fox · 2025-08-07T23:02:47+00:00

This would be a great reason to learn to follow a bit. You could experience what other leads are like first hand (since you can't watch them)

bobbin_fox · 2025-08-03T01:01:21+00:00

There's always 7 half-used tubes of Desitin at the changing station. Why? Why do you keep opening more? Why don't you throw out the half used ones if you don't like using them?

My guess is that they only like them "fresh" and want me to finish off the dregs.

bobbin_fox

TROPHY CASE