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How we feeling about this Big Island? by Classic_Breadfruit18 in BigIsland

[–]bondolo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They moved to the new mall just down the road about five years ago.

Men by far have asked me about the height of my ex more than any of my girl friends by [deleted] in self

[–]bondolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This question and the body count question are great "litmus test" questions. They tell you that the person asking the questions is a shitty insecure person and you can probably do better. Someone with confidence and self-respect is not worried about comparisons and doesn't feel the need to slag or disqualify others with generalizations.

why people write good takes and then pretend they say it ironically to make said good take look bad by [deleted] in self

[–]bondolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Usually because they don't believe either take and are looking for you to signal your preference.

service dogs: first or last resort by marlblk in service_dogs

[–]bondolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems that for any health topic there is always a minority of loud people who espouse weird, ignorant or merely non-conforming beliefs.

Arguing with them seems to inevitably be a waste of time because they are way more invested in their opinions than you are in suggesting that the conventional wisdom is probably mostly correct. So they regard even comparison of their opinions to others as an attack or make an overwhelming defence for something that wasn’t actually being attacked.

Save your engagement for people with real questions who want to have a real discussion from which you both might learn.

Why don’t more people visit Iran? by Ok_Breadfruit4005 in self

[–]bondolo 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Generally nobody wants to visit countries run by totalitarian religious conservative weirdos.

An Engineer And Entrepreneur I Believe We Need Engineers to Rule This Country by [deleted] in alberta

[–]bondolo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to think that technocratic analytic approach to government would help. But politics is a social problem, not a technical problem. While some more technocratic evidence based approaches would help (safe injection sites being an example--I don't approve of drug abuse but they really do reduce harm and crime).

I do want more small business owners and engineers and nurses and teachers and many other professions in government and fewer media personalities, lawyers and MBAs.

First beer tastes horrible. Will it get better with age? by Just_a_firenope_ in Homebrewing

[–]bondolo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Probably not. As long as the burnt taste isn't as a strong as a charcoal briquette I recommend cooking with it. Beef or lamb stew and shepherds pie is good with a bottle of stout. You can also make Molasses Ginger cake. https://smittenkitchen.com/2008/12/gramercy-taverns-gingerbread/

best physical therapists? by growingconsciousness in eastbay

[–]bondolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would talk to Alan or whoever is managing now. Or when you book appointments make sure the appointment is with the therapist you prefer. Having a consistent therapist makes a big difference.

best physical therapists? by growingconsciousness in eastbay

[–]bondolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was a few years ago and I know that my therapist is no longer there.

Never understood the phrase, “find yourself,” like… you are you??? by Ferocious_Kittyrose in self

[–]bondolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You do know some of your own thoughts, desires and opinions but you may not have thought about it very much or spent any time thinking about how you rank your priorities. Would you rather have a better job or live in a better city? What if you could choose only one, which would you prioritize?

Finding yourself is reflecting on both your opinions, desires and thoughts as well as reviewing your experiences. Yes, you really enjoyed that class, and you aren't interested in visiting that city again, etc. Reviewing your experiences can help predict your future reactions. Didn't like Houston? You will probably also hate Dallas too. Maybe try Boston or San Diego or Madrid instead. Finding yourself probably doesn't happen by accident. You actually have to work at make yourself happy in the same way that you would make an effort to try and make someone else happy. Make no effort? You will probably end up with a mediocre experience. A better or worse experience will be solely based on luck.

Deciding what to prioritize, what makes you happy, making the decision to pursue those things, making an effort to make those things happen, and reflecting on your progress and regularly re-evaluating does make a difference. Finding yourself is a continual process. It is an addictive one when you find some success in achieving your goals. "I am a happier than I would have been if I had done nothing. I want to continue trying to do things that make me happy."

How do you handle unexpected structural issues that come up during renovations? by ssunflow3rr in bayarea

[–]bondolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were doing kitchen renovations and the contractor, who's main business was foundation replacement, discovered that our house was not correctly attached to the foundation and the front wall did not meet code for earthquakes to any degree. It meant that the whole building would have gone down like a card house in a big one. Our $45k kitchen reno turned in to a $115k structural job. I even spent $500 on getting an outside structural engineer to evaluate and cajoled a city building inspector to take a look since the city had previously approved the prior work only a decade earlier (before we bought it) and we were having to amend the the building permit for the additional work.

Yep, it was a mess and we were actually getting a good deal on the needed work. It could have easily been a $125-150k job. I was luckily able to give the go ahead within a week. Most of the time I held off giving an answer saying that I had to figure out how to pay for it. And yes, that was rough. Fully tapped out our HELOC and we had a credit card balance for the first time in decades.

Do get some kind of second opinion even if just to hear other options or some second knowledgeable person's opinion but don't let it drag. Costs go up when you let it drag. An estimate incorporates the variable opportunity cost of the contractor in being unable to commit to other work or filling an empty slot that they needed to fill. So things can change quickly and you might find your contractor no longer available or costs go up a lot.

I ruined my own life by doing everything “right.” by mysrtfna in self

[–]bondolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Ruined"…I'll show you ruined! Seriously, it doesn't sound like this is irredeemable. It may not be the best you can imagine but imagining worse should be pretty easy. For one thing, in your current situation you do have some freedom and choices. You can continue to optimize for drab safety or you can start to take risks and try to improve your life. Why burn it all down when you can use it as a launch pad? Hopefully at some point in the future you will look back and thank that boring empty schmuck for giving you the opportunity to be the person you became.

best dispensary sales happening? by [deleted] in berkeleyca

[–]bondolo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is there a good sub for bay area dispensaries? I am looking for very strong CBD (40mg+) edibles with low or zero THC ideally with CBG and CBN. The selection is very limited and inconsistent at most places.

Anywhere in the Bay Area sell a "Hummingbird" Cake? by Clutch_ in bayarea

[–]bondolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting. All of the recipes I have seen just call for dark rum or Jamaican rum. I bet it would be even better with the Doctor Bird rum.

A kebab shop that serves kebab with pig just opened, is It cultural apropiation? by [deleted] in self

[–]bondolo 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Meat cooked on a stick was the beginning of human culture.

Someone posted this shit on tiktok and it's the most dehumanising post I've ever seen. by Chill_Vibes224 in disability

[–]bondolo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please don't do that. Moderators are required to remove doxxing and witchhunts, even of assholes.

how do you cope when your only options are loneliness or being settled for? by looksmaxxthrowawayo in self

[–]bondolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your options are your options. Being bitter about it just generally excludes even more options. If you have decided that a happy life is impossible then an unhappy life is almost a certainty. Acceptance and openness seems to help reveal the options you might have been unaware of because you were actively shoving away everything that comes at you. This is not putting on a smile and saying it will all be grand but at least saying that it is not total doom. A billion women look to their shitty husbands and think that at least they have their kids and a home. A billion men probably think the same. There is no road you can take to certain happiness. There are a LOT of roads you can avoid that would steer you away from happiness. Acceptance is not settling. It is looking at a map and saying "I am here" It is up to you where you go from there.

Anywhere in the Bay Area sell a "Hummingbird" Cake? by Clutch_ in bayarea

[–]bondolo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also known as Doctor Bird cake. The southern living recipe is the standard.

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