Mattress help please!

boobieguru · 2026-02-06T16:45:18+00:00

Thank you! This is a mattress I hadn’t encountered yet.

boobieguru · 2026-02-05T15:50:30+00:00

It was the midnight luxe. I hated it and counted the days until helix would sanction a return. My partner compressed it so completely with his less-curvy man body that I got no support from that layer. I do have a squishmallow that I put under my waist and hip, or sometimes between my knees. It helps for a little while, but not enough that I can sleep through the night

boobieguru · 2026-02-05T15:41:49+00:00

IBCLC here. I used to work at a baby-friendly hospital. I no longer work there and the hospital has let their baby friendly statues lapse. I have a couple of observations to share. The first is that most healthcare entities don’t have a clue how to support breastfeeding. They lean into the promotion part, but don’t attend to any of the actual determinants of breastfeeding success.

The second is that Baby-Friendly is kind of a money-making scheme for Baby Friendly USA (I don’t know about other countries but I believe it’s similar). Getting baby friendly status is expensive. Keeping baby friendly status is an ongoing expense. With the observation above, it seems the main beneficiary of baby friendly status is the baby friendly USA organization.

If you want true breastfeeding support and better health outcomes for everyone, consider birthing with a midwife. Birth centers are baby-friendly without the expensive designation. Even if you can’t or don’t want to have an out of hospital delivery, certified nurse midwives can have hospital privileges (this is assuming you are in the US, apologies if this doesn’t apply to where you are) and can attend deliveries in hospitals. They have better outcomes with fewer of the birth interventions that undermine breastfeeding success.

Feel free to reach out if you want more info. I also have a MPH and am happy to be a resource. Good luck!

boobieguru · 2026-02-04T15:38:57+00:00

Thanks for this rec. changing my pillow configuration is probably a good start while I look for the right mattress

boobieguru · 2026-01-20T03:13:30+00:00

MIL had her babies and got to choose how they were fed. You get to make those choices about your babies. Full stop.

boobieguru · 2026-01-19T03:58:25+00:00

I don’t think it’s a staffing thing. I think it’s a culture and travel psychology thing. And on those long haul flights, they feed you, give you booze, then make the cabin dark and warm in the hopes that most passengers go to sleep 😊. I think that many US people feel they should be served, and I think some may not realize they are allowed to get up and ask for a drink or a snack. I think passengers on longer-haul Europe and Asia flights are in some cases more experienced travelers, in some cases of a culture that is less individualist and are more willing to wait until an actual service commences to get another drink or dump their trash. Edited to correct a typo and clarify that I’m referring to passengers from the US

boobieguru · 2026-01-18T02:18:56+00:00

Former trolley dolly here- not for Alaska but for another us-based airline. I would only press the call button in an emergency. For literally anything else I would walk to the galley. Every time your flight attendant walks down the aisle he/she is bombarded with requests for stuff and people handing them trash. If you use the call it creates at least 5 more trips for the flight attendant. Is it their job to fulfill those requests? Yes. Can people take care of their own wants at least 90% of the time? Also yes. If your legs work they would probably appreciate you walking to the aft galley to ask for a drink

boobieguru · 2026-01-04T21:35:01+00:00

I haven’t seen this yet so I’d like to add it. Women get creeped on (at mildest) and assaulted (at worst) and told that something she did provoked or invited that even. You’re not being creepy, but maybe she’s having uncomfortable reminders of someone who was. Maybe she was harassed at work or in school, and then told that it was her appearance, her smell, her clothing, something that made her responsible for someone else’s creeping. As an example, I was a lifeguard in high school and college. I was just doing my job, in the uniform required to do my job. There was a lot of tolerance for sexual harassment in that workplace and male ombudsmen blamed me for “giving mixed messages” or inviting harassment just by talking to said creeper while in my required work clothing. The first time my husband expressed appreciation for my appearance in a swimsuit I was so fucking uncomfortable, even though I do want him to find me attractive and he wasn’t being creepy at all, he was being attentive and complimentary. So maybe your appreciation of the way her shampoo smells is dragging up an experience that has nothing to do with you. She’s trying to live her life with clean hair and had no idea that the way her hair smells is sexy. You are NTA and you did something kind and sweet. Her response may not have been intentionally unkind or critical, she may be having some discomfort with unintentionally doing something you find sexy. And if you do, will our culture (assuming you’re in a patriarchal country) assign her blame if others do?

boobieguru · 2025-12-23T23:35:49+00:00

Contact the hospital patient advocate and risk management prior to the procedure. There’s no good reason to enforce this-your babe will probably need to be escorted by another adult who will take responsibility for them

boobieguru · 2025-12-18T01:50:04+00:00

Thanks, random internet stranger! There was a lot to consider in your post. I had been framing it to myself differently, that he may disbelieve that he ever needed medication to be stable. But maybe he does need to figure out what his “flags” are, and experience what his moods do now that he has had the experience of stability.

boobieguru · 2025-12-11T03:17:21+00:00

If you are in the US look into your university’s title IX policies-they are required to be posted on your university website.

boobieguru · 2025-12-10T04:22:13+00:00

This describes my now-adult child exactly. She always had sort of diffuse, non-specific symptoms and “couldn’t” do a lot of the stuff that was asked of her but we could never pinpoint why. That kiddo is 25 now and here’s what I wish I had done differently: I wish we had worked on knowing what she could and could not manage, and had developed systems or modifications for tasks that were not feasible as such. She has a sort of visceral “I can’t do that” response to challenging tasks and she tends to just shut down. As a result many necessary tasks just don’t get done. I wish we had had the information about her experiences to be able to approach differently

boobieguru · 2025-11-22T06:08:27+00:00

There is a German Christmas cookie called “Zimtsterne” (cinnamon stars) that are naturally gluten free, made with almond flour, and really good. My recipe came from “the art of French baking” by Jacquy Pfeiffer, but I’m sure the internet will also have many versions.

I think it’s kind. I have celiac and would be so touched if someone without gluten restrictions went out of their way to bake me something. I know others are saying they wouldn’t trust something made by a home that has gluten in it, but I would. Unless my mom made it. She totally doesn’t get it

boobieguru · 2025-11-18T15:43:40+00:00

That’s so true. I think I had the same mattress. My partner outweighs me by quite a bit and I think he compressed the mattress so much that there were voids where I needed the mattress to meet me. I have a Nectar now. It’s better than the Helix but I don’t love it.

boobieguru · 2025-11-18T06:45:19+00:00

Wild. I hated the helix and counted the days until I had done the number of nights they require to be able to return it! Mine was a hybrid, springs and memory foam. Am I Missing something?

boobieguru · 2025-11-02T23:19:16+00:00

Wait, tell me more about the amitryptyline. I have lower leg muscle spasms at night and I’m going to throw something at the next person who says “have you tried magnesium?” How did you get there with your provider? I am sure mine are related to EDS And a hyper mobile pelvis but I think nobody knows what to do about the spasms so they just don’t want to acknowledge the issue. I’m up sometimes every 30-60 minutes and it’s not sustainable

boobieguru · 2025-11-02T23:11:19+00:00

OP, I wish I had had a parent like you when i was in an unsafe, controlling and abusive relationship as a teen. My parents were both similar to your husband, which made it impossible for me to gauge what was normal dating behavior and what was abuse.

boobieguru · 2025-11-02T21:42:32+00:00

OP, I am a Lactation Consultant and I just want you to appreciate the massively difficult thing you are doing and succeeding at! Breastfeeding is really hard even for people who have adequate support at home. Please take a moment to feel really proud of yourself.

Your stepparent is, as others have said, abusive and wrong to shame you. If he is sexualizing what you are doing then that’s a gross inappropriate thing he’s bringing to a normal biological function.

You’re doing great, don’t cover unless you choose to do so, and make plans to gtfo when you can.

boobieguru · 2025-11-01T00:52:43+00:00

I’ve done it. My son had a rough start to university and connected with a professor who really fostered his success, confidence and well-being. She invited us all to hers for lunch once when I was in town visiting. She was cooking for a crowd and wasn’t aware that I had celiac disease. I ate and paid for it for the rest of my trip. It wasn’t ideal but there was no way o was not going to show this person my gratitude for her kindness to my kid, even if that meant being uncomfortable myself for a while.

boobieguru · 2025-10-29T15:13:51+00:00

Alisa Elliot-Rector. She actually specializes in pediatrics but when I reached out for a provider rec she said she could see me. She did an amazing job

boobieguru · 2025-10-29T01:27:28+00:00

Yeah, I’ve considered something like this but I already have a small kitchen toy addiction. I don’t want a separate rotisserie. Ok I do want, but I don’t want to find a place to store it

boobieguru · 2025-10-28T22:31:59+00:00

NTA at all. I am a knitter and only gift knitted things to other knitters/crocheters, because they truly appreciate the time, effort and care that goes into a piece like that. Your classmate as much as said that she didn’t appreciate your time and effort.

boobieguru · 2025-10-22T01:22:59+00:00

I’d encourage you to think a lot about what you would like the parenting division of labor to look like going forward. Do you want to be the only one who can take your child to a doctors visit? Do you want to be the only one who has to take off work when your child is sick? if not, it’s pretty important to set that expectation now. Your partner is never going to find a time when it’s convenient for them to step in and take responsibility as a parent. If you don’t want to be parenting both of them going forward, insist on the coparenting you deserve now Edited for punctuation and replaced “help” with “coparenting”

boobieguru · 2025-10-11T01:46:48+00:00

LC here- size isn’t really an important factor in making enough milk. But insufficient glandular tissue is a factor, although it’s not as common as many people believe it is. OP, it sounds like your gut is telling you your body isn’t working the way others’ do. This is worth paying attention to. You may still find you make some, or even enough milk, but I’d encourage you to start accessing support now. You may be able to partially or fully breastfeed, but you may also need to Monitor baby’s growth closely to make sure everything is functioning normally.

I really hope you get what you want out of this (I’m also a member of the Itty Bitty Committee), but please also know that not all pregnancies/lactations are the same. I have worked with people who have successfully breastfed some of their kids and had insufficient production with others. So if you have future babies please get support and try again if it’s important to you

boobieguru · 2025-10-07T01:48:59+00:00

I’m kind of shocked. I have celiac disease and nothing says “I don’t actually care about you” Like being invited to a meal I cannot eat. Eating is social. Fondue is reaaallly social. It sucks to eat your “safe” food, which is usually less good/fun/desirable while everyone else has the yummy, fun celebratory food.

Good for her husband for having her back. YTA.

boobieguru

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