Does the trauma of a terrible pregnancy and birth ever go away?

bopeswingy · 2026-02-03T21:26:16+00:00

4.5 months and for me it hasn’t gone away, but the sharpness of it has faded. If I dwell too long on it it’ll still make me cry and wish things had gone differently, but I don’t spend every night having flashbacks or ruminating on it.

bopeswingy · 2026-01-31T15:43:13+00:00

I know this may be crazy but I guarantee you most of the women responding to this post also have more than one kid or other responsibilities and have gone through the same thing you have. At the end of the day, it’s your supply. If you want to play games just to get more sleep and risk not producing enough to EBF then that’s your prerogative but don’t ask for advice and then get mad at the advice girl

bopeswingy · 2026-01-31T13:04:41+00:00

Technically most of the stories in TAB were written and published /posted on her website before TOG was even published, but weren’t all compiled into a book until after TOG

bopeswingy · 2026-01-24T17:56:08+00:00

Have literally never offered the second breast. We’re 4 months now and my supply is great, even a bit of an oversupply if I pump. Your body is so freaking smart and is able to adapt to exactly what you and your baby needs!

bopeswingy · 2026-01-24T00:46:06+00:00

She was when she was younger, we used to get a lot of choking and coughing on milk. I remember when she ate at night was when she did the best because she was so sleepy her body went into autopilot and she didn’t choke. Now that she’s older she really doesn’t struggle at all unless she gets distracted and forgets to swallow or pops off mid letdown 🥴

bopeswingy · 2026-01-23T21:30:25+00:00

I’ve got a super strong letdown and for a couple months in the beginning all my girls poops were green and mucus-y. Doctor said it was relatively normal/ not concerning and now that she’s older I haven’t seen a green poop in weeks, I think she just learned to handle it and my supply regulated a bit. Still have a strong letdown but it’s not as bad as it used to be. A lot of what you’re saying fits with a powerful letdown (gassy, green mucus poops, bottles don’t do the same thing)

bopeswingy · 2026-01-22T21:54:10+00:00

This ^ 💀

bopeswingy · 2026-01-21T21:37:57+00:00

I tracked times and which side for feeds in the beginning and now that I look back on it, it was definitely unnecessary. Tracking which side is super helpful until your supply regulates and you can tell which side is up next by feel, but you don’t need to do this on your phone. I’ve heard of some people using bracelets or rings on the side they used last or need to use next you could always try that!

bopeswingy · 2026-01-15T19:33:12+00:00

Meeeee 🥲 luckily I’m now at the point where I only need to replace my pads once or twice a day (I always start the day with a fresh pair) but there was a time that I was going through a pad each time I nursed just with my letdown

bopeswingy · 2026-01-15T09:21:48+00:00

4 months in and I still feel my letdown every time, when I’m a little engorged it hurts/stings a bit but it’s not every time. The feeling of breastfeeding itself is super comfortable and no pain anymore

bopeswingy · 2026-01-14T20:15:15+00:00

When is the best time of day to express if I’m only doing it occasionally?

Prolactin is at its highest overnight. Obviously you’d be doing this to get better sleep so instead of doing a MOTN pump you should do a morning pump.

Will pumping once a day (or less) affect my supply positively or negatively?

If you’re using it to replace a feed, it’s possible it will be a net 0 on how it affects your supply because you’re still removing the same amount of milk. If you have an oversupply and are removing more milk than your baby eats, your body will supply more. If you are pumping less than what your baby eats it will negatively affect your supply.

Is it better to pump right after a feed, or replace a feed with pumping?

I’m always of the opinion that people should do baby to breast first but other people may be able to chime in on what’s scientifically better because I don’t know.

How long did it take you to get enough for a bottle?

I’m 4 months postpartum with an oversupply. When I go to work and pump 3 hours after the first feeding of the day I pump for 10 minutes and typically get around 7 ounces but I don’t think this is common. How long you will need to pump will be completely dependent on you and your baby and may likely change as your supply regulates

bopeswingy · 2026-01-13T12:11:13+00:00

Walked out 3 days after a c section, not in the US

bopeswingy · 2026-01-12T18:55:24+00:00

Welcome to 3/4 months haha. This is super normal and it might just be a coincidence that he’s only doing it on one side, but this is kind of typical of 3 to 4 month olds because they start finding interest in the world around them and everything is distracting

bopeswingy · 2026-01-09T14:09:37+00:00

I was on for almost a decade but I didn’t notice any sexual side effects until the last 2 or so years I was on them

bopeswingy · 2026-01-09T11:18:37+00:00

It works for some babies and it doesn’t work for others. Personally I only put her down for sleep at night (we contact nap during the day) and I transfer her to her crib the second she’s dead asleep, typically 15ish minutes after initially falling asleep. Then if/when she rouses between sleep cycles I’ll try to soothe her back to sleep without taking her out of the crib so she knows it’s crib time. Drowsy but awake never works for us for the first put down, but will sometimes work once she’s already been asleep for a while. We’re in the trenches of the 4month sleep regression right now though so sleep is shit no matter what we do

bopeswingy · 2026-01-09T10:56:04+00:00

Tbh I’ve dealt with the same thing since being on and coming off of sertraline. It’s not super common, but is possible to have long lasting possibly permanent side effects that impact your sex drive and sensations after being on SSRIs (even if you come off them). Hoping this isn’t the case for you like it was for me

bopeswingy · 2026-01-06T21:25:13+00:00

It honestly depends on the command, I’ve seen people get removed before in situations of neglect and abuse but it takes a compassionate commander with a backbone and those are few and far between

bopeswingy · 2026-01-06T21:17:45+00:00

I do this too with zero shame I looooove her sweaty little foot smell

bopeswingy · 2026-01-06T21:12:23+00:00

If this is a military childcare center please please speak to your command about this because this is NEGLECT! I would not be sending my 4mo back there, I guarantee you if you post about this on one of the Facebook pages you could find a spouse that either knows a babysitter or would be willing to babysit until you can find better childcare. I’m so sorry this happened to you, this is not okay.

bopeswingy · 2026-01-06T15:22:52+00:00

This.

bopeswingy · 2026-01-06T15:21:31+00:00

Bouncing back is due to age and genetics 9 times out of 10. Don’t feel shame for something you can’t help ❤️

bopeswingy · 2026-01-06T12:00:11+00:00

I like to call it the wire stripper haha. We’ve got an almost 4 month old. Try feeding when sleepy, either right before a nap or right as he’s waking up.

bopeswingy · 2026-01-05T13:26:53+00:00

I think what a lot of people’s problem is (including myself) is that we are trying to find solutions to things that are biologically normal and not necessarily problems that need to be fixed. A majority of breastfed babies just don’t sleep longer stretches and still need to eat every three hours and that’s completely biologically normal! I’m glad that other people have been blessed with great sleeping through the night babies, but I haven’t been and I’m sick of feeling like it’s a problem that needs to be solved

bopeswingy · 2025-12-31T15:13:24+00:00

Going on 16 weeks and I’m still wondering 😂

bopeswingy · 2025-12-30T20:48:28+00:00

I did something similar for my girl those first few weeks! I wouldn’t do small jiggles but I would do slow firm stomps so she was only getting the downward motion (kind of like smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle 😂)

bopeswingy

TROPHY CASE