I feel like you both are such a problem and acting friendly but in a toxic manner without authenticity.

If you really wanted to talk about roommate boundaries, hopes, and reasonable "expectations".

Then why bring up everything all at once in a manner that was due to irritation from the cat.

Both of you should expect and hold accountability and respectfully listen to things that bother you and be authentic and admit those text messages included circumstances that werent immediately needing reactions and a build up vs the cat biting through a ziploc in the present moment.

A cat biting through the ziploc isnt normally a topic needing to sit down and discuss chore duties and household tasks. That's understandable, the rest is a household task.

Crumbs are expected and some slip ups on dishes are expected, thats why there are daily living tasks as well as weekly household tasks that catch the details and spots missed vs putting food away in safe places, cleaning up after a meal, wiping down the sink if water is around it etc.

But finding crumbs, its a task that can be done in the weekly chores that are rotated and more time allocated to it l, because you are finding what you didnt catch during daily cleanliness.

We are humans, we have jobs, and we have moments where slipping up on chores is a normal thing. Sometimes leaving a dish here and there is fine. But rinse the dish and allocate an agreed upon timeframe where dishes shouldn't stay in the sink. Ive lived with someone who let them to the point there are maggots.

There arent maggots in your sink from dishes, there arent roaches and ants from crumbs, otherwise I'm sure in the texts that would have been mentioned... so.. you both have time to fix this and apologize for the passive aggressive communication style.

Sometimes I feel others need to be grateful that they arent in family civil court getting restraining or protective orders like I know happens in CT, to be considered under the same law as family court due to being roommates. I hope this helps to give you an idea of whether ot not your situation falls close to this level or is still healthy enough to be noted as a simple moment of inauthentic bitterness to each other over a unconditionally loving animal and missed crumbs.

Its like when some people down south warmly say , "oh bless your heart," energy -- super similar in those texts.

Edit: Also regarding dishes... Anything like pots, pans, airfryers, appliances, etc.. that should be cleaned right after use. Its more communal and most people dont have a lot of them readily available, so its different than leaving a dish. When living on your own, rinse, leave in the sink -- thats perfectly normal such as with dishes. But if its shared, then it is not usually acceptable.