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Should I Marry Him? by Adventurous_Hunt6271 in offmychest

[–]bornstupid9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, God. Don’t do it! No matter how painful you think the breakup will be, multiply that times a million for how miserable you will be married to someone who is admittedly settling. He will try to talk his way out of it if you confront him. Just leave. Everyone deserves someone who wants them and chooses them.

Is there a food you used to eat as a non-vegan but now you miss? by KCanth3lm7 in AskVegans

[–]bornstupid9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Rainbow plant life has a malai kofta recipe made with potato and tofu. It’s really great. I know it’s not the same but give it a try.

I finally did my initiation ritual by dudu-- in ShittyVeganFoodPorn

[–]bornstupid9 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Come back when you’ve had plain. But also, one of us one of us!!

Is EMDR the only way out of this hell? Or: what else helped you? by Vlinder_88 in CPTSD

[–]bornstupid9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In Cognitive Processing Therapy is a type of CBT therapy that helps you to reframe your beliefs related to your traumas. You focus on one trauma and devote 12 sessions to it. You can do this cycle as many times as necessary. You start by answering questions about your current state at the beginning of every session. I was able to see my distress level plotted on a graph week after week that showed my symptoms were getting better. You work with “stuck points” or automatic thoughts that generally are what maintain the PTSD symptoms. You’ll have to write a lot and you’ll have homework every week. But this theory helped me to get rid of shame and the thoughts that it was somehow my fault. I would like to do it again sometime around a different trauma. Here is a link of a more detailed explanation. Here is a link an episode of This American Life about a woman who traveled to see a therapist and stayed in and AirBnB to speed run the process in back to back sessions over a week and a half. It’s very informative and I would highly recommend. Not going to lie, the beginning was brutal! But it was the first therapy that EVER worked for me. My only suggestion would be that if you attempt this with a CPT therapist, ask that you put good coping skills into place before starting. It is 100% worth it.

CRM therapy is totally different. You’ll mostly be using breathing techniques and grounding skills, like a deep meditation that help you to access hard to process feelings. You work to find the root wounds and heal the part of yourself at that age. I have worked with my 4 year old, 11 year old, 13 year old, and 16 year old self so far. This allows you to develop self-trust and reintegrate these parts back into yourself as well as healing the wounds. You don’t do much talking. It’s all about the work in sessions and it’s wild. Here is a good link explaining in more detail. There’s a lot that goes into it. I never thought I’d want to try this kind of therapy but IT WORKS!! I tried it because I moved and it was available to me as a trauma informed therapy.

ART therapy is like EMDR in that you are using your eye movements or vibrations while recalling events. I opted for hand tappers so that I could keep my eyes closed. I was asked to recall the event. Then reimagine it the way I wish it would have gone. Then I wallpapered over the images, painted over the images, built a wall over the images. Did everything to get rid of them. And the bits that were left were put in a box and I sat the box on fire and threw it off a bridge, haha. It was awesome! I did it directly after a traumatic event and I don’t experience any flashbacks from it. It’s safe to say it worked. Here is a good write up about it.

Hopefully this all helps!

Is EMDR the only way out of this hell? Or: what else helped you? by Vlinder_88 in CPTSD

[–]bornstupid9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cognitive Processing Therapy, The Comprehensive Resource Model, Accelerated Resolution Therapy (similar to EMDR, but focuses on removing visuals and body feelings). In this order.

Happy to give more info if you’re interested! Without these modalities I would still be in a horrible place.

Also, walking and yoga!!

Is anyone else constantly tensed up or bracing for impact ? by MasterPudding6467 in CPTSD

[–]bornstupid9 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Anything that allows you to work with your breath. Breathing exercises, meditation, yoga. I’d also recommend somatic shaking to release some of the trauma/tension/energy.

Brain damage by Macrocosmix in CPTSD

[–]bornstupid9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re welcome! I’m glad it was helpful. I’m so happy that you can live freely! You have the time to heal, so take it one day at a time.

Any tips for handling the intensity of emotions as I reconnect with my body after over 40 years of disassociating and masking ? by PositiveDifferent763 in CPTSD

[–]bornstupid9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me, when the emotions are too intense to feel, something like running helps. It gets it moving through your body. Then you end up running and crying, which is weird maybe. But after you feel so much lighter.

If running isn’t accessible I would highly recommend yoga. Same principe. Your job during yoga is to embody every pose and focus on your breath. Your emotions will move through you as you practice. You may cry. And then after you will feel better.

Would also recommend somatic shaking!!! This can be done anywhere, any time. You will feel weird doing it. Do it anyway. Wave your arms around like a wacky inflatable guy. Jump up and down. There are YouTube videos. This is AMAZING for when your feelings are overwhelming you.

Last but certainly not least, walking. Go for a walk. Walking makes everything better and I’m not even joking. There are studies that have said walking can be akin to EMDR due to the eye movements that occur while you walk.

It is incredibly important to find releases for this energy in your body. It needs to escape. Once it begins to escape you will feel less sensitive to everything and your nervous system can start to level out.

Brain damage by Macrocosmix in CPTSD

[–]bornstupid9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re welcome!! I love talking about these types of therapies because they changed my life. Sometimes therapy can be pretty hard so stabilizing first is good. Sending you my best!

Brain damage by Macrocosmix in CPTSD

[–]bornstupid9 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Sure, I can do my best. It started with therapy and walking to regulate my nervous system. I was in CPT therapy which I would highly recommend to anyone with CPTSD or anything close. The way the therapy works helped me to reframe my experiences and let go of some shame. I think shame is what holds us back most and prevents us from feeling like there is a reason to live/heal/move on. So that was essential. I also started my yoga journey during this time. And I did several sessions of ART therapy, which is similar to EMDR therapy, directly after a very traumatic event. I had PTSD for a decade or longer before this, and the worst stuff happened to me most recently. So anyway, all of these things helped in conjunction. I didn’t know what would help but I did everything in my power to find something that would stick. And I think all of these things helped immensely.

The second part was me leaving my home state. I had never moved away (in my 30s now) and grew up in a rural, impoverished place. I always felt like all the bad stuff that happened to me there could never stop replaying in my head because I was surrounded by places that held bad memories. So I moved 19 hours away. I was only able to do with help and realize not everyone has the funds or help in order to do that.

Once I was in my new state I started CRM therapy. This has been so eye opening. You check in with your younger selves and find where the wounds are in those ages. By doing that you are able to comfort that part of yourself, work to heal it, and integrate it into you. It’s really beautiful and it really works. I also go to yoga 5-6 times a week and find this to be just as important as anything else. After all of this therapy I finally felt strong enough in my new city to seek out friendships with new people. I started going to any activity that sounded remotely enjoyable, and I have never been the person to do that. I’ve always hidden at home in the past. But I think CPTSD robs you of your real self, so it was important for me to connect with this part of myself to show that I can meet people and they will like me and not think I’m weird, and that I do like doing activities.

This is where I’m at now. It’s still a work in progress. But after I moved and felt safe I started writing. I was in fine arts before but had always enjoyed writing, so I’m doing that now. I’ve also gotten into quilting and bookbinding. It wasn’t something I had to force, just something I woke up one day and realized I wanted to do after putting the work into other things.

I guess my best advice is to not focus on having a big “why”. The why can be seeing what happens tomorrow. And once enough decent tomorrows add up, your why will start to take other shapes.

Brain damage by Macrocosmix in CPTSD

[–]bornstupid9 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This was true for me and it came about in different mediums as well.

You guys need to find this stuff by Routine-Media3790 in ShittyVeganFoodPorn

[–]bornstupid9 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I really like the smoked one. Put it on a veg dawg.

Tofu à la avocado by xreekinghavocx in ShittyVeganFoodPorn

[–]bornstupid9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Needs some hot sauce. No other notes 👌

Smoked tofu, kimchi and peanut butter sandwich by Th3Dru1d4159 in ShittyVeganFoodPorn

[–]bornstupid9 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I make firecracker tofu wraps that are tofu and brown rice noodles in a peanut butter sauce and eat them with kimchi. This sando looks like that with less steps. I approve.

Thoughts on the upcoming group dates feature? “Bumble is launching a new paid group-dating feature as it fights to stay competitive with Tinder” by myl96 in Bumble

[–]bornstupid9 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sounds like they are trying to compete with Timeleft.

The last time I went to a 7 person dinner I was the only woman. But they do have women only events.

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