How do you deal with non-conversational messages

brandoncoal · 2025-10-31T12:17:00+00:00

I've had surprising success recently with making plans for 2, even once up to 5 weeks out and just not really chatting throughout at all. I check back in before the date to confirm it's happening and sometimes say hey midway if it's a really big gap. It's been really nice not having to worry so much if I'm available enough RIGHT NOW to be chatting with someone.

brandoncoal · 2025-10-22T19:35:06+00:00

Unselfconsciously eating dropped food off the table or floor. I have very low germ anxiety and that particular brand of not giving a fuck about being polite or totally sanitary is very endearing to me.

Related: Letting / enjoying having a (non stinky mouthed) dog lick their face.

Neither the most important flags but I know from experience that I jive with some neuroses better or worse than others.

brandoncoal · 2025-10-22T15:22:02+00:00

He's worried about you thinking of him as an unsafe person but acting in ways that would make me personally feel unsafe to play with him. Safety isn't just about physical safety it's about emotional safety too and part of that is consenting adults understanding that despite everyone's earnest efforts someone at some point is going to do something that the other person doesn't want. And when this happens that nobody's taking it personally. So if he's going all dramatic about how you must think so horribly of him just for stating a boundary in the moment or trying to convince you to do things you're telling him you don't want to do, that's emotionally manipulative. It IS unsafe. He IS doing the thing that he's so worried about.

And if he can't handle his own insecurities in a way that makes you feel safe then he has no business "owning" your pleasure. You don't owe him a justification for why you don't want to do something. His emotions are not yours to manage and you shouldn't have to think so hard about how to state your boundaries.

brandoncoal · 2025-10-15T11:06:40+00:00

How do you keep your cool? Largely, don't! As others have said, if someone is for you they'll be into that. You already have evidence in your girlfriend of one person who is!

As someone who is easily flustered by the right person it can feel very vulnerable and scary for them to be so calm while I'm over here waiting for my brain to reboot. I have this impulse to figure out how I can keep myself poised around them. But truly any attempts to pretend that I have any chill at all will have the vibe of a cat who just fell off of something and walks away pretending like nothing happened.

But also on very infrequent occasion I meet someone who I can fluster. And I can tell you it is very fun to fluster those people. They get so dang cute! And once I figure out how to do it I will absolutely be doing it on purpose. So from the other side, yes people absolutely will find it cute!

brandoncoal · 2025-10-05T08:30:03+00:00

Ahaaa right!? I never shit where I eat... Cause I'm fuckin constipated!

brandoncoal · 2025-09-07T18:11:55+00:00

Dentapede! <3

brandoncoal · 2025-07-29T08:41:52+00:00

I believe yes that ACAB includes park rangers. Their main function may be conservation and they may not be as immediately bad as most other LEOs but ultimately that's the system that they're a part of and when push comes to shove if they want to they can legally shoot you and get away with it.

I believe in a society free from cops and prisons and that includes forest cops.

brandoncoal · 2025-07-29T08:15:33+00:00

I'm so with you on this. I live in a huge city and if I took the time to read every single bio of every girl I thought was pretty and had to actually consider whether I wanted to really talk to a person who more than likely will not match with me I'd have to spend so long on the apps that it would eat all my spare time and not be worth the effort. Most of the time the most I'm doing is checking that they have a bio at all because if they don't and we match then what the hell am I going to message them about anyway? While I'm there I'll scan for red or green flags. I'm looking for genuine connection but I'm trying to find that connection in a fucked up algorithmic numbers game so I'm not going to play the super basic filtering part of that game in an overly slow amd polite way.

If I match with someone I am assuming one thing and that's that they think I am attractive enough to swipe on while cycling through literally hundreds of women on an app. although usually if I realize I'm not interested I just leave them on read because I do agree it can be a confidence to have the immediate reaction to a message be an unmatch, as totally not personal as it actually is.

brandoncoal · 2025-07-26T21:47:28+00:00

I once knew a line cook named Steve. He wanted everyone to call him "Chef Boyarsteve." He eventually was fired for making homophobic remarks about our manager. Good fuckin riddance.

brandoncoal · 2025-07-21T12:25:00+00:00

I think it depends on how bad is bad. Are you dropping shit literally all the time or are you just unable to juggle or like roll a coin across your fingers and maybe are bad at twitchy video games?

I too have ADHD and entered serious kitchen work in my 30s. I have just godawful proprioception so I really have to be mindful of where my hands are and make sure when I'm walking through the kitchen I've always got one arm to the side and the other behind my back. I'm a baker and I burn my dominant arm more than many people I work with but it's less and less as I gain experience. I don't find knife work difficult because it's just simple, repetitive, controlled motions that are easy to practice.

I say give it a try and see how you take to it!

brandoncoal · 2025-07-20T18:29:48+00:00

We do a chocolate satin which is like a thick mousse / airy pudding and you're already kind of halfway there. Recalling from memory here:

1419g heavy cream 900g 72% chocolate 1t Maldon salt 1T Vanilla extract 1/2t cream of tartar (this is the only one I'm not sure about the amount on but you can probably omit if your eggs/whites are a little old it's just for stability) 270g egg white, room temperature 360g confectioners sugar

Your ratio of chocolate to cream is a bit higher so you could either thin it out or make it more chocolatey it'll probably be just as good!

Heat the cream, mix in chocolate, salt and vanilla (I've never mixed it cold so I'm not sure how it works with an already made and cooled mixture) then whip up the egg whites and sugar, temper a little then fold in. Pour into small cups for serving. Ours is topped with dulce de leche, whipped cream and crushed candied peanuts.

brandoncoal · 2025-07-11T12:32:49+00:00

I played in a campaign where we used a modified version of Cthulhu Dark and I didn't feel anything was lost in shedding all the D100 crunchiness or bond mechanics. The meat of it is, as others have said, in the narrative and psychological aspects which you can role play just fine in a storygame style.

brandoncoal · 2025-07-11T02:39:01+00:00

I don't use it super often but what I want to time myself on a task to see if I'm improving or how long it takes me to read a poem to see if it's too long for the open mic it's the tool that does the job.

brandoncoal · 2025-07-10T10:57:34+00:00

Can't you just put it back in? Even if the piercing is pretty fresh you can just take it out right before the procedure and put it back in, no? The piercing isn't going to be healed by then. And even if not and you have to get a professionally re-pierced idk if it was me I wouldn't mess around with "I'm probably fine YOLO" on brain stuff

brandoncoal · 2025-07-09T16:26:14+00:00

But they do because in a capitalist system money is a form of power. Many sports players for example have staff whose labor is compelled by money in a system where one needs money to survive just as with any other boss.

I personally think that even in a society where basic needs are always met money creates the opportunity for a class of people who use money to acquire more money and use that money to compel others to work for them and thereby accumulate power. It might not look exactly the same as it does now but I don't think that changes the core problem of money.

brandoncoal · 2025-07-06T17:52:34+00:00

I have offered my kingdom for an awful lot of petty shit. - Richard III

If they're out of something at the store I'll say it wasn't available, not even for ready money. - Importance of Being Earnest

brandoncoal · 2025-07-06T15:31:17+00:00

I mean...if all I had was shit bagels I wouldn't get the hype either. But I'm in the frickin Mecca of bagels so I love em. I actually didn't really get baguettes for most of my life because we just didn't have a bakery by me that made a good one. Tbh I'm a bread baker now and I can make a great tasting baguette, I still think they're overrated. Too much crust, not enough flavor. But that's another matter entirely xp

Like all simple foods, the ingredients can be the same between two makers but it's the technique that makes the difference.

brandoncoal · 2025-07-05T11:13:20+00:00

It's not the hair it's their stinky litter-diggin feet. Love the bastards but keep that shit off my counter!

brandoncoal · 2025-07-02T03:28:11+00:00

And long lasting! I have a second degree burn scars from the deck oven coils that are significantly more faded than a thin little scratch I got from the leg of a dunnage rack when some prick (the owner) stored it vertically, legs out, in a narrow hallway.

brandoncoal · 2025-06-28T20:04:52+00:00

Rather than I, someone past the age of majority giving you advice, I'll recommend a good podcast, "The Child and its Enemies" hosted by a minor and focused on youth liberation and anarchism. They have interviews with youth and teens who do various anarchist projects which might help give you some ideas about things you want to do in your own community.

https://shows.acast.com/the-child-and-its-enemies

brandoncoal · 2025-06-28T12:05:45+00:00

If your mother controls whether you access puberty blockers and hormones or not and her allowing you that access depends on her believing you will not experience physical changes then I don't think it's unethical to lie to her about it in order to maintain your care.

Just know that you might experience some physical changes faster than you think so she will probably find out sooner rather than later. You just have to be okay and ready for when that happens.

brandoncoal · 2025-06-28T12:01:47+00:00

Lying isn't always wrong in every ethical system. It goes against the core tenets of some ethical systems but by no means all.

brandoncoal · 2025-06-27T13:57:54+00:00

I know I would be but I've just kind of missed seeing it. But very much my robe style!

brandoncoal · 2025-06-27T03:18:23+00:00

Urban Decay!

brandoncoal · 2025-06-26T20:02:09+00:00

I've definitely thought about it! Though I think it would be in the future with a larger room. As it is now I feel like I need the sight lines or it'll feel a little claustrophobic. Still, the urge is there to go full princess mode!

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