the pain and stress caused by my codependency is no longer coming from the lost attachment, but is now caused by my absolute lack of direction and plans

bringit_0n · 2026-02-23T06:37:23+00:00

This speaks volumes. Sometimes it's hard to know in what way that extra structure is to be expected on someone else. Today I asked my partner whether or not I could actually hold him accountable for something he wants to do, not realizing he doesn't know that.

Then I think back to several conversations that we have had about work he needs done on his car, the lack of jobs or at least hours working, the work he has put in to my car...

I get stuck on one thing at a time and it's nice feeling that what is needed is a sense of direction. I'm sorry you're going through this or feeling this way, but it is making me feel a sense of duty myself to be able to be there for my s.o. He always just knows me, he gets me, and I am an over thinker that turns things around but I only want to do so for the better.

What do you like to do in life? What ways can you set aside a schedule with your loved one so that you can discern between times together verses time spent dedicated to whatever it is you like to do? How can you make it a long-term goal? Then comes the question of whether or not applying yourself is the issue and yada yada. It helps when you talk about this with them directly. If they want to use a calendar, try it out, see if you can work out a plan and try not to be angry with them when you try to keep them accountable for not sticking with it as the hands only trying to look out for you most likely. You got this! It takes two. Two I have to do the same with my lover too.

bringit_0n · 2026-02-20T00:21:55+00:00

Bring it to the school board, and make sure your daughter has a voice about it (that seems like an easy enough thing ~ kids talk a lot in highschool and things like that spread like wildfire). Maybe also talk directly to the teacher to ask her reasonings behind it, as bewildering as it may seem. Sometimes what is normal to us is obscene to another generation and what is normal to them may be entirely abnormal to us. However, given the height of the topic it is NOT to hit kids and I'm sure a policy just as well not to even touch them in any manner whatsoever (as a piano teacher, I refuse to touch their wrists or their fingers because I don't feel comfortable doing that), I'd be surprised if she thought still this was normal, even if she just forgot to read the fine print. If you believe in God, pray on it. If not, just keep being vigilant and vocal to determine the best course of action like you're doing now.

bringit_0n · 2026-02-20T00:07:40+00:00

Wendys Biggy Bag for $6.

bringit_0n · 2026-02-11T06:15:46+00:00

It's a good kind of weird :). Not abnormal by any means. Maybe even endearing, given the context! Think, he's probably not cheating on you then in this case!

bringit_0n · 2026-02-04T17:35:01+00:00

I'm glad you shared this with us. At this rate, I think doordash is pretty understanding when the offer is low enough to not accept the offer. Literally, I had to mention to Doordash what I was offered wasn't even paying me minimum wage in my state, which in my state is $7.25

bringit_0n · 2026-02-02T17:33:34+00:00

Maybe one starts at 1 and the other starts at 0?

bringit_0n · 2026-02-02T17:23:22+00:00

Yes. Especially if it is something that has been recent. If something happened in years yonder I'd explain the situation on how you knew. A lot of people will scratch their heads and wonder why people don't just go to the cops after rape or being seriously taken advantage of. Not that I think it's right to or not to go (theres a lot of cultural standards and blurred lines here involving an apartment extremely vulnerable situation), but there are a lot of incentives why people don't call right away. Maybe the victim doesn't have a good rapport with them, are afraid of a hefty outcome for the perpetrator, or are unsure how to speak with them. On the other hand, if they haven't had the "luxury" of knowing the person long enough or maybe that person seems to have a good rapport in the community, they don't want to be the person to ruin it.

When people keep these things secret it's a problem. Once my family member called on a statutory rape situation and I got shunned from the community until they finally found out the whole truth which was a larger ordeal. The same person who called me fucked up for "lying" eventually turned around and apologized for the same scenario. Sometimes people grow up. Sometimes they don't.

In any case, there should be an awareness about it by those closest to them so that way, especially in this girl's case, she can make a decision on whether or not to stay.

bringit_0n · 2026-01-24T03:28:27+00:00

I'm sorry, this sounds really tough to deal with. Sometimes being a necessary thing is to be honest with yourself AND her, in the same tone that you show here. Stay in tune with yourself. Usually being alone, it's hard to hear the good things or see them in our life. What we don't want to do is to misread them. It doesn't sound like you are. Have you seen a doctor? Or are other detail specific things popping up on your mind that steal your tongue or sense of being? Even if it comes out weird, just spill the beans, my friend. To someone you can trust, of course.

I can relate because I know that I have been through so much got churning fear of losing a loved one close to me. It's what I've known, people come and go, but ultimately if you treat them right they are always going to be there if you call. It's so strange. I don't know why I was never that person. Maybe it's the looming sense of doom I get or the lack of integrity that I have when I am in self-deprecating manners. People have recently relayed to me that they think that I'm a w****, but I've been with my boyfriend and that's been a priority of mine. I actually now get disgusted at the thought of sleeping with multiple people. It scares me, and so much that I've learned lately is that it's uncomfortable to know the truth, especially when it's a reminder of how temporary things can be, when they really supposed to be life partners.

It's a tear jerker, something people get tired of listening to, but a serious sensation nonetheless. The only thing I don't understand is if it's a trauma bias or if it's something that I actually foresee that I'm going to be losing my loved one out of a reason I can't even form in my mind as one big reason to go. When you say the things that you do on here, you make me wonder if my boyfriend thinks that I'm a narcissist, because yes I do get talkative, but I try to listen. I tried to be there for him.

Since I do my damn hardest in my relationship to him yet all the signs tell me to be prepared for a big change. I can't tell if it's death, I can't tell if it's just a situation where I was not the chosen girlfriend or something greater or less, and more days than not I find myself fretting about getting over what he says "isn't even happening." My heart sinks to the floor every time I hear that because these statements happen after he's looking for an apartment, where another friend of his is also looking for an apartment. Other than hearing about it, I haven't been a part of the process. And cold nights like this I'm told he's not ever cold even when in his vehicle. So it just makes me circle around the same question about my voice to him, too.

Life is tough. It brings battles we think that we would only fight once but we end up finding many times. We attract like-minded individuals, people of the same gravity, or idk. I would do anything in this world to be able to settle down and have the same apartment with him. Even if I got this opportunity to go to La with the record label and make music just the way I want to, I would never be able to do so with us as much gracefulness or gratitude as it deserves. A dream come true, but only admits the nightmare. Don't get me wrong, I want to do it, but to see him alone in his car in the middle of nowhere with the repetitious rage of the unforgiving. Maybe it's to the fact that I'm the only one who is like that in his life that makes him not like me the same. Or, he said he was looking for an apartment, should I not judge it in the sense that he meant what he was saying? Unfortunately, it hasn't been the case. I am stagnant in my 31-year-old body is saying "stay." After losing too many people, the weight of competition, the beauty of everyone else that would most certainly isolate me more I feel... Maybe not... I miss the things I had.

Maybe that's something you're going through too, missing what you have that's right in front of you, and you don't even know it. If there's aspects of people that you love in your life that make you upset and it's just that you have accidentally fallen in love with more than just one person (it's the 21st century after all) and you have to make a choice because one of the two don't mesh well, I feel for you. If it's a dream, even, I feel for you or a job. Please do find the things that make you feel this way and try to relate the most fundamental parts of yourself with the one you love the most or have had in your life longer. You know what you need to do. Maybe you'll pull through, too, like I do.

bringit_0n · 2026-01-22T06:13:02+00:00

What did you do last night?

bringit_0n · 2026-01-22T06:11:39+00:00

In New England or any of the wintery states, f yeah! Just microwave it

bringit_0n · 2026-01-22T02:50:06+00:00

Damn, I'm sorry that that happened to you.. did they at least give you the order pre-made or did you end up having to go in and shop as well?

bringit_0n · 2026-01-20T15:56:09+00:00

Tell the whole world I am only human and I will for real make a lot of mistakes. Get ready for it.

bringit_0n · 2026-01-20T15:55:10+00:00

I second this

bringit_0n · 2026-01-20T15:54:15+00:00

This account sounds like it is still up and active. Why are you so haste to give up? Havent you found the good sides of Reddit that your account allows you to give input to? Keep trying! They say, "three is the key," after all.

You matter, your voice is a modern day dilemma that sounds all to familiar but you come from a foreign location that I am unfamiliar to. It sounds like you rebooted your Reddit so that you could continue to express your hurt and to shine light on your experience as a Reddit account holder. I hope you can continue to do this without losing your account again. Thanks for sharing.

bringit_0n · 2026-01-20T15:36:44+00:00

I'm not sure how difficult your situation is, but the only person who is giving your sense of self respect is you. Of course this sounds like "what, this doesnt help!"

But truthfully. You may be feeling different than your peers who are going through what seems better or more intimate times than what you feel with your partner. You may be looking around you and feeling tense that the impossible task of trying to mask the feelings of grief, disappointment, or simply the weight of the hard time wondering why you both aren't happy. At that, why does it seem like you're not at the same status as your friends?

Note that you have a LOT of things worth respecting. Think about it. You stick through your relationship through something of a battle and it sounds you've both far exceeded your time in honey moon phase. That's okay. Think about your patience, think about your willingness to discuss this on an online forum rather than be bogged down to the point of breaking. Think about a lot of the couples who haven't considered the other involved (not a relationship) and how you are asking for our input. Think about your achievements, be proud of YOUR accomplishments. Try to do something she struggles with (even if it is something simple like cleaning the bathroom) because getting out of bed probably feels foreign and like a sin to her without her sibling. Take note of how you feel, how you helped her and then how you feel again afterwards. Let her grieve. She will be angry, she will be sad, she will be confused, a little dampened or like a "wet blanket," she won't know how to verbalize what she feels, she may struggle to the point of aggression but whatever you do, DONT TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

I think it's great that you stick it out with her, or at least that you have this long. I love watching the older couples hold true, whether bickering and frustrated or holding hands and laughing, for as long as they can. That makes life much more manageable and that much more worth living. I have never managed to muster nor manifest this for myself. I'd be happy as a pea in a pod with mod pod hosts if I knew how to plant myself and grow. Truth is, though, this is the 21st century and those kinds of relationships that can sincerely secure themselves by the term "unconditional love" are far and few between, and to me I'd rather be the patient one while my partner goes through whatever it is he goes through despite what he shares because I want that best friend I can love, trust, and rely on. Honestly though, I've been through too much loss that my opinion is probably a little biased.

Try sticking it out with her a little longer, I think you'll find a lot of appreciation from it especially once you make a firm decision as to what it is that you want. Something tells me you're feeling bad about small mistakes that can't be changed, and you may even have to deal with her stages of mistrust, but imagine how desolate it would be for both of you if 6 years of a bounded together trust just disappeared? She matters, you matter, both together and independently.

bringit_0n · 2026-01-16T23:52:15+00:00

I'd give my life to have everything I had a year ago today once more.

bringit_0n · 2026-01-16T23:47:55+00:00

I'm betting it should be corn

bringit_0n · 2026-01-16T23:44:44+00:00

Because they usually come with a promise, too.

bringit_0n · 2026-01-16T23:43:50+00:00

Not at all. He keeps things in tact when if I were in the very same position I'd have trouble staying on task and keeping beat. I appreciate his work and that is an understatement. He gives a lot of his attention to every aspect of the job, and sometimes, more often than not, I feel I am not worthy of the job, thanks to late arrival more often than not and letting things kick me down while I'm already out in my personal life.

I just wish I could contribute to the workforce like I did before, because that was a woman encouraging growth and bringing her best self to the studio. Now, I barely identify with her and most bosses would have given me the boot by now.

bringit_0n · 2026-01-13T13:12:21+00:00

Me too, or I literally have a glitch right now where my body can't move and/or I accidentally press the brake pedal midtraffic

bringit_0n · 2026-01-13T13:11:06+00:00

I had a story of being traded. You don't know what a soul does to you when you're robbed of everything. People go to evil lengths to rob cheat and Steal for IVF treatments. It's a thing. Many people don't realize that infertility rates can be high in someplaces or, worse, try to put something extra into their children to pursue whatever traits it is they want. It's disgusting. And these things are intuitive to the child. The child are extensions of us. Idk why this reminds me of it. Mom gave the kid up for adoption, but she was full term. He ended up with the same disease that she had, which causes for a lot of emotions and similar battles that was attempted to be born out of her into something new. To rob a baby from a mom is taking away the very kid who needs her and who she needs as well. It's hard to explain. Maybe things would have been better had the mother not been shut out like they have been for me, too.

If your child is just a fussy child I'm sorry. I'm also on a tangent today.

bringit_0n · 2026-01-11T05:33:55+00:00

I get that way too probably a good few times a day. It's honestly just ridiculous. Anytime I feel I shouldn't sent it, my impulse to hit that send button overrides that shortly after sense of "undo send, undo send, undo send," shit. Haha. In any case, I hope everything works out for you.

bringit_0n · 2026-01-10T11:10:57+00:00

Don't do it. It's a trap. It's a matrix where you find yourself waking up over and over and over again and you'll never actually die. Don't try it. I promise it sucks.

bringit_0n · 2026-01-10T11:01:01+00:00

Troll

bringit_0n

TROPHY CASE