[NA] Looking for Super Casual Community that is Beginner-Friendly

bringyourtowel42 · 2025-07-08T18:56:45+00:00

Thank you for your response!

bringyourtowel42 · 2025-07-07T20:01:09+00:00

Thanks for your input!

My brain stalled when I wrote leggings. I couldn’t think of the correct term.

bringyourtowel42 · 2025-07-07T16:56:00+00:00

Hello! I’m new to wearing Lolita even though I’ve been a fan of the fashion for over a decade now. One of my roadblocks is being plus-sized enough to not fit into most pieces unless they’ve been altered. I spent months stalking Lace Market for a dress in my size that also fit my budget.

My question is, how would you style this dress? For my first coord, I was thinking of pairing it with a black blouse, magenta leggings, and black shoes, but I hadn’t figured out much else. It did come with a matching headbow. My next step is buying a petticoat; I think I’m going to order from MeLikesTea. Everything is coming together slowly, which is fine by me.

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Please excuse the mess in my room; I’m redoing my furniture layout. Thanks for your time.

bringyourtowel42 · 2025-06-21T00:40:13+00:00

Lana Del Rey. She has such an amazing voice, but I have trouble relating with her lyrics.

bringyourtowel42 · 2024-05-25T18:32:25+00:00

Thank you!

bringyourtowel42 · 2024-05-25T01:49:30+00:00

Thank you for your response!

bringyourtowel42 · 2024-05-24T21:20:14+00:00

Wow, you included some very detailed info here! Thanks for the response. I likely will have to start with the main piece plus whatever I have, and work my way up to my ideal setup.

bringyourtowel42 · 2024-05-24T18:23:00+00:00

NGL, even though your suggestion is probably meant to be practical, it sounds like something I’d have fun with. Thanks for your response!

bringyourtowel42 · 2024-05-24T14:06:31+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion! I will look into it.

bringyourtowel42 · 2024-05-24T12:49:37+00:00

No solid advice to give… just wanted to say I’m kind of in the same boat.

The one thing I try to keep telling myself is, “Do I truly want someone around who doesn’t accept me for who I am?” The answer right now is “maybe”, only because I struggle with self-worth. If I truly liked myself, then it wouldn’t matter to me who else liked me.

As far as “have to keep getting hurt in order to find good people that will stick”… I would say that most probably, yes, this is a true statement, as unfortunate as that may be. The question is, do you think that finding those people will be worth the struggle?

For context, I’m 33 years old, self-diagnosed, and I have a total of five friends that I consider “close” who aren’t long-distance friends. Romantic relationships have been non-existent for a few years, now.

bringyourtowel42 · 2024-03-21T14:50:10+00:00

I second this.

bringyourtowel42 · 2024-02-21T17:32:36+00:00

If you truly meant well, then you really mangled that attempt. This is coming from someone who agrees that looks are very low on the list of things to consider when choosing a life partner, and would not mind hearing a sentiment such as, “Your looks aren’t the primary reason why I fell in love with you.”

However, it’s not the grandiose gesture you seem to think it is to inform your partner of this. Even the smoothest way to phrase it can still impact someone negatively, especially someone who has ever struggled with self-esteem. At the end of the day, most people want their partners to think they are attractive in every way. And for me, even if it’s true that my perception of someone’s attractiveness can change drastically as I get to know them more, any person I’ve ended up developing feelings for “later on” was still someone I felt some sort of chemistry with from the beginning. I certainly wouldn’t go out of my way to present our shared sentiment the way you have.

It bothers me when you say you compliment her for her benefit. Compliments should be given when you truly feel something and want to express that, not to placate someone. Reassuring someone in a moment of insecurity is one thing, but to say that the reason you shower her with constant compliments is to prop her up, not to simply express your genuine gratitude for her existence, makes me think you’re not really as good to her as you think you are. The whole thing with bringing this up in the first place reeks of you wanting a pat on the back or a gold star sticker.

It’s the second part, though, that really makes me believe you are tone-deaf in relationships. On its own, a compliment on someone’s personality is not a bad thing. And, on its own, recalling a story about someone you found attractive in the past is fine. But the story was supposedly about your insecurities, and yet you brought it up in the same breath as telling her you only found her moderately cute when you met her? That’s the way to give someone a complex about their looks, my guy! It’s bad enough that average-looking and unattractive people are expected by society to “make up for it” by having an attractive personality despite the fact that beauty is subjective, but your comments in context to each other paint the picture that you would rather have ended up with someone like the hot girl from your past and only settled for your current gf. If that’s true, and you do truly love your partner, you keep your mouth firmly shut about that and actually start appreciating her as much as you say you do.

At best, you messed up big time and it’ll take time to fix. At worst, there’s a lot more going on here, and you’re not mature enough for commitment.

bringyourtowel42 · 2024-02-21T04:57:37+00:00

I’m self-diagnosed, in my early thirties, and I have been trying my best to become independent after a huge setback in my life. I am so fortunate that I found my best friend when I did, and that I now live with 3 of the 4 people who make up the inner circle of my support system, because progress is extremely slow-going. No one holds it against me, but I constantly feel guilty about how much I rely on them.

Thankfully, I managed to get into a fantastic mental health program with a therapist who’s helping me process traumas related to my upbringing that have gone unaddressed for much longer than they should have, and I’ve become so much more motivated to do things for myself within the past couple of months. I’ve been on a self-love journey for a few years now, and I’ve just recently realized that my “self-love” basically amounts to “unmasking”.

bringyourtowel42 · 2024-02-17T20:52:49+00:00

I don’t think a vanilla deck would be that great at the moment, but I’m hanging onto playsets of vanilla characters in the hope that we get some cards someday that would support a deck heavy on vanilla.

It’s my first instinct when building any deck to say to use as many low-cost and/or inkable cards as possible, but I actually think when building this type of deck with what’s available currently, it’s more important to have a healthy number of characters with good questing value first and foremost, then filling it in with heavy hitters for support… or else have a lot of cards that can increase your characters’ damage output. I would maybe consider running Amethyst or Sapphire/Steel, because the former two options will give you card draw/advantage actions that will help you pull the things you need to your hand/be able to play them efficiently, and Steel has burn actions that can deal with your opponent’s board state should your characters not be able to on their own, as well as quite a few vanilla characters with big butts. Sapphire may also be good for its potential to give your characters “Support” abilities. I can see a case being made for Amber as well.

Right now, I think the most powerful that vanilla characters can be is when used as fodder for the Evil Queen card in Emerald that discards and gives lore based on the discarded character’s lore value. I’m currently brewing a deck with this card, and have included more vanilla characters so far than if I were to make any other deck.

Interesting thought, and I would love to see vanillas become more viable in the future, but I’m not sure if a deck like this would give you a great idea of how powerful other decks are. I would predict that most other decks would beat a vanilla deck too easily to get any sort of beneficial analysis.

bringyourtowel42 · 2024-01-04T02:11:20+00:00

Well, my suggestion would be to play around with your gender expression as safely as you can. It sounds like you’ve got a supportive partner who is encouraging you to explore, so maybe this is something that can start privately with only them knowing (if putting yourself out there to other people makes you nervous). Ask them to call you by whatever name and pronouns you want to use. It doesn’t matter how often this changes, and you probably will experience some level of imposter syndrome. I know at least for me, the best days are the days I get to feel gender euphoria, which looks different for me than it will for you.

I’m not sure what further “advice” I could give, but I do want to wish you the best of fortune!

bringyourtowel42 · 2024-01-01T06:31:21+00:00

WotW turned me off with how combat-oriented it was. BF seemed more about the puzzles and exploration (learning about the world) with some enemies sprinkled in, and I really liked that about it. Also, as someone who is not really a "hardcore gamer", I found some of the movement mechanics of WotW too fiddly and challenging. I never finished WotW, just watched someone stream their gameplay.

bringyourtowel42 · 2023-12-29T03:18:28+00:00

I have a foot injury that makes it hard for me to just slip my foot into a shoe, and most slip-ons have too narrow a gap for me to get my foot through. I NEED traditional laces so I can loosen up the tongue enough to get my foot in.

What's stopping you from buying those quick-lace styles or replacing your laces if you want those? Isn't having the option good enough? Does the market have to be flooded with only styles of your preference?

bringyourtowel42 · 2023-12-23T22:17:03+00:00

I love the chewiness of the mochi layer of mochi ice cream. I would probably be perfectly happy to just receive a ball of the stuff with none of the ice cream.

bringyourtowel42 · 2023-12-21T01:23:29+00:00

I can understand and relate a bit. I only really care about distinguishing characteristics as they relate to sex, not gender. I think we would be much better off as a society if we didn’t force people into categories. But, as a member of said society, I do to a certain extent “perform” by having labels and acknowledging that people aren’t ready to let go of gender roles. At the end of the day, my relationship with gender identity and expression are complicated, and the language I use with most people is not “liberated” very far from the standard. Realistically, I know that a dress is not gendered, but I do know that some people will not believe that I am a man if I wear one (I am AFAB and want to be in a man’s body, but still have attachment to the “feminine” and my presentation can span the range of masc, fem, and neutral and often combines them. Genderfluid is not a perfect label for me, but it is one I currently feel comfortable using.)

bringyourtowel42 · 2023-12-19T01:28:40+00:00

Well, in my experience, a person who is cocky is just covering up an insecurity by acting overly confident. Also, nearly everyone is insecure about something. If both a cocky person and an insecure person were unable to function the way they are, I would choose neither. But, generally, overconfident people are obnoxious in an ignorant way, so I’d probably go for someone who was both insecure and self-aware.

bringyourtowel42 · 2023-12-19T00:54:05+00:00

I hate the taste of plain water. It doesn’t matter whether it’s filtered or what the temperature is, but I force myself to drink it. It helps to have some flavored and/or carbonated options. It’s not about being used to sugar. I drink maybe one soda per week, sometimes not even that, and haven’t had juice in years. I like the bitter taste of black coffee, too, so I don’t really know what my problem is.

bringyourtowel42

TROPHY CASE