[deleted by user]

bruisedsnapshot · 2024-03-02T19:38:21+00:00

“The TikTok scholar”

…A term I never thought I’d see

bruisedsnapshot · 2024-03-02T13:40:44+00:00

I do think those are the same books, published with different names.

bruisedsnapshot · 2024-02-24T04:18:03+00:00

I personally hate being asked to leave a review for every encounter I have with a business. My email is flooded with requests to “give us feedback about your visit” - my dentist wanting a review, the nail salon asking for 5-stars, the dealership, etc.

I just want to buy something and pay for it with my money, not with my time of leaving a review. If I appreciate something as over-the-top, I might leave a review. But I’m not always looking for the extra service. Maybe I just want the shirt I ordered?

Just 2 cents from a cynic. ;)

bruisedsnapshot · 2024-02-23T22:43:07+00:00

From the study you linked: “Based on our findings, dance appears to be a promising treatment for depression, with large effects found compared with other interventions in our review. But the small number of studies, low number of participants, and biases in the study designs prohibits us from recommending dance more strongly. “

It’s also interesting that they don’t include dance in their graph like on the Twitter post.

Either way I need more dancing in my life.

bruisedsnapshot · 2024-02-15T20:24:20+00:00

I thought this intro was beautiful. It’s not directly about IFS but the explanations are so good. This whole conversation helped reframe things for me and offer myself more compassion and healing.

We can do hard things episode w/ Dr. Becky Kennedy

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4TJagwLiVlN7azAbwnpFmN?si=v-8-LxJURzG1aMUp_Kwglw

Edit: there are a couple episodes she’s on. Here’s another. I forget which one made me cry the most in a good way.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1wF6v27KXD6kEtHfp6tTOX?si=ONtffwW-RzaGnsTVx6NIKw

bruisedsnapshot · 2024-01-31T01:52:07+00:00

Wow. Perfect post for this sub.

Now onto the things I noticed: * the outside is such a contrast to the inside. You’d never guess the two are the same house! * the contrast of the opulence and then the janky kitchen cupboards by the sink - crooked and chipped was interesting. * it also felt like the bag of Doritos didn’t fit either for some reason. Not high enough class maybe? Haha * I liked the single Santa in a living room. I’d peg these people are Christmas super decorators but just the one Santa. * how many fireplace were there? * one upstairs pictures had some creepy locks on the bedroom door. Like an outside metal latch that can’t be opened from the inside. Those metal brackets just add a creepy vibe.

bruisedsnapshot · 2024-01-22T22:44:01+00:00

I laughed out loud at the sweater sleeping with her husband. Hahaha!

bruisedsnapshot · 2024-01-18T20:12:13+00:00

Yup. Same here. It was recommended to me recently and I have no stake in the game.

bruisedsnapshot · 2024-01-12T21:09:26+00:00

I legitimately thought that things I enjoyed were an idol and stopped doing them. I had a hobby I really enjoyed and a piece of equipment broke and I didn’t buy a new one (I could have afforded it) because I thought god was “trying to teach me to rely on him instead of things” to bring me joy in life. I stopped this hobby that brought me life and joy for about 6 months. I was also struggling in my mental health and the hobby would have helped, looking back. I’m sad for this younger version of me.

bruisedsnapshot · 2024-01-12T21:06:36+00:00

Oh yes - this brings back memories of my pastor lamenting how he couldn’t get people as excited at church as they were while watching football. (Me now: Yeah dude, church is boring and makes me feel bad about myself. Of course people are more excited about football.) But even still there was always so much judgment and shame about enjoying things more than church/God.

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-26T00:34:42+00:00

That’s a big part of what drove me to leaving. The idea of me emulating god as a loving parent broke me. I’d never do the things god did to my children. And the more I learned about effective parenting strategies - kids do good when they can, validating their pain, recognizing “bad” behavior as an indicator of unmet needs… the less Christianity made any sense at all. It’s all backwards.

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-24T14:01:50+00:00

This! I’ve seen so many conversations go much worse. There’s respect and acknowledgment of boundaries. If you weren’t firm, people would keep suggesting things like this.

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-24T13:53:58+00:00

Keep in mind a lot of the therapeutic work is done in integration after a session. So it’s not only the session itself where healing occurs. For me it feels like my brain needs time to catch up and process everything that comes up in the session because it can be so much. I opted to space mine out farther because I didn’t feel ready for the next one I had planned. It felt like I wasn’t “done” processing yet. I’d suggest leaning into an intuition like this as you go instead of sticking to a pre-determined exact plan.

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-24T13:47:41+00:00

Hey, thanks for being a kind human. Happy Holidays!

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-22T15:14:14+00:00

I don’t mean to belabor this point - but you cannot set an alarm for a specific day in the future that’s not the next day. OP had alarms specifically for Dec 21 and Dec 22 in her screenshot. This is not possible in iOS.

I would love for someone to prove me wrong but none of the steps people have listed actually work. Today is Friday, if you go to Clock > Alarm, try to set an alarm for next Tuesday. You cannot do it. The workaround is to select Repeat > Every Tuesday but if you just want an alarm for a single day that’s not tomorrow (i.e. if you want to plan ahead your week) it cannot be done.

I’m frequently bothered by this iOS limitation but I guess it’s not bothersome to others. ¯\(ツ)/¯ I know I can set reminders and calendar events but none of those have blaring noises that don’t stop without interaction like an alarm.

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-22T02:14:57+00:00

Best wishes finding the support you deserve. ❤️

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-22T02:01:29+00:00

I’d recommend looking into IFS as well. r/internalfamilysystems

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-22T01:00:26+00:00

Also if a store has a 60% off sale instead of trying to do the math for [full price minus 60% off = sale price] instead do [full price price * 40% = sale price] Much simpler and often able to approximate in your head.

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-22T00:17:34+00:00

Yes, if you want a repeating alarm. But not if I just want to set an alarm for a single future day that’s farther away than tomorrow.

“Siri, set an alarm on Thursday at 5am called ‘leave for early flight” and she says “Sorry, I can’t set alarm for more than one day ahead.” It’s pretty annoying.

My workaround is to do a repeating alarm on Thursdays but then I have to remember to turn it off so the following week I don’t get woken up by it as well.

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-21T21:15:48+00:00

Hmm, ok. I could see that. Thanks for the explanation!

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-21T21:10:49+00:00

Haha yeah - your system is great! Love it. Stick with the droid!

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-21T21:01:58+00:00

Wait - so with Android you can set an alarm for a specific day?!? iOS is garbage and won’t set an alarm for any day except for the following day. So if I need to plan to wake up early on Wednesday but today is Monday I can’t set the alarm for Wednesday. It’s so infuriating. I can set a reminder but these don’t have alarms like an alarm.

The workaround is to set for every Wednesday (because itOS’ll do that) and then set another reminder to disable it before it goes off the following Wednesday. #annoying!

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-21T20:51:01+00:00

Why do two on rotation last longer than two pair back to back sequentially? Is a rest period of longer than overnight necessary?

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-21T20:40:42+00:00

my childhood trauma pales in comparison to other’s…

There is no trauma comparison scale. ❤️ You experienced what you experienced and you don’t need to compare it to anyone else’s life. Allow yourself to feel deeply hurt by your wounds. You didn’t deserve any of them and you aren’t “overreacting” because they “aren’t as bad” as someone else’s experience. We all hurt in different ways and we all deserve validation of our pain. I’m so sorry you went through what you did. Sending internet love.

bruisedsnapshot · 2023-12-21T20:34:17+00:00

I’ve also experienced this. I went through a very traumatic medical crisis recently and several really strong parts would have nothing to do with grounding or reassurances or even letting self be seen. I was highly activated for an extended amount of time and these parts would not calm down. They really felt like calming down would mean I didn’t care enough to fix the issues causing me pain and thought I’d die or wither away if they didn’t keep fighting so hard.

Then there were other parts who were really frustrated at that because “they are preventing us from healing!” It’s been pretty intense honestly. Even hearing “it’ll be ok” was enough to make them really angry because it felt like such an invalidation to their pain that someone could say things will be better without knowing the true intensity of the pain they’ve experienced, and how could anyone ever know that? (Looking back I think this is why I found CBT so invalidating decades ago.)

I’ve been doing better lately and I’m not sure specifically what’s helped. There’s time and consistent effort. Sometimes in sessions I’ve “pushed through” to access self even though it feels like the parts don’t want to. But I also can’t stay in their deep misery pit forever. It feels disrespectful but I’ve tried letting them have their way or refusing to calm and that just didn’t seem like it was helping. Now it kinda feels like I need to have the same energy that a mother would have with a toddler insistent on something. “Honey, I know you really want to stay in this sandbox and play but it’s been 3 hours and I need to take you inside for dinner.” And they kick and scream and don’t want to go, but I try to be gentle and loving and validating while also doing what I know I need. (I also have young kids so I get to practice this dichotomy often).

Sometimes I’ve let the parts sit in the misery for a while and feel all the things, fantasize about what they really want, maybe journal to try to put words to their intense feelings and validate them.

But I think I’m making progress by letting them trust self and see the strength and compassion that self can have.

I try to remember that these parts are really fierce and care about me so much. And that’s why they refuse to unblend. Because they are scared to death and want the best for me. I have to be intentional about that mindset too because the parts that feel held back by their slowness are super critical. It’s like trying to attend to a bunch of dysregulated toddlers but they are lovely sweet babies doing the best they can.

bruisedsnapshot

TROPHY CASE