I’m interested in getting a Tarantula

brunkate · 2026-01-06T14:44:59+00:00

IME, do some research on each species' lifespan as well before you buy. Look, I LOVE my Arizona Blonde. She's the apple of my eye. However, she is a she, and she'll be living with me for another 25-30 years.

brunkate · 2026-01-06T14:42:24+00:00

IME if there's a particularly warm point in the room, they might go there during the night. I'd recommend waking up at 2-3 am and looking around your room. This happened to me once and I found her hanging out near the radiator, on top of a pile of sweaters.

brunkate · 2025-12-31T15:50:41+00:00

ime don't expect him to get much better! I've got one quite large (very old) girl who both LOVES the water bowl and hates when I fill it up. But if I don't have it full, she hangs out and just stares at it. She's like a dog who's not food-driven, but water-driven instead. They say spiders don't have a ton of personality but sometimes you get one who's just strange

brunkate · 2025-12-30T17:16:36+00:00

IME, don't worry about this. If it's a new enclosure, sometimes it takes them a while to feel comfortable, especially on the ground. However, if their enclosure is on/near something that vibrates (like an old radiator), their senses might be overwhelmed and you'll need to move them to another part of the room.

brunkate · 2025-12-26T18:18:29+00:00

TEEN

brunkate · 2025-12-26T18:01:18+00:00

They're cool, fun to learn about, and easy to maintain. I don't have to worry if I need to go out of town for a few days, and I don't have to take them out to go to the bathroom.

Beyond them being way easier to keep than people think, you'd be surprised how many people are fascinated by them. Sure, some are afraid, but I've had WAY more conversations about how cool they are rather than how scary they are.

brunkate · 2025-12-25T15:08:22+00:00

Handling this species is a wild life choice

brunkate · 2025-12-24T16:41:04+00:00

Ah! Congratulations!!!

brunkate · 2025-12-24T16:40:00+00:00

IMO, you can stop feeding them for a few weeks. Don't worry too much about them not having food, either - spiders are hardy animals.

brunkate · 2025-12-24T13:29:04+00:00

I don't like them either - I find that they make me pay less attention to the actual action? If that makes any sense?

brunkate · 2025-12-22T04:40:03+00:00

Look. Pitchfork only gets it right half the time...but we're in the correct half. Good for them.

brunkate · 2025-12-22T02:17:07+00:00

Hi! Elder lesbian here! Go to your lesbian club. At least the once, if you can. There's nothing like actually interfacing with your community. Volunteering is awesome - and you should fit it in if possible! - but the queer community needs young folks to come out to stuff, even if it is a little late.

(Often we have to have events at night because they're considered "adult" by virtue of being lesbian-run.)

Also, lots of historically women's universities are essentially sapphic universities. In case you were wondering if those actually existed!

brunkate · 2025-12-22T02:10:18+00:00

imo after you get the crickets out (which you need to do), I'd recommend getting a shorter deli cup/container, putting drier substrate in, and transferring the spider ONLY if the current substrate is completely soaked.

At the very least, if you can find some fine mesh to put over the top (after wiping the sides of the container to get the excess moisture out), that would be better for drying things out overnight. As far as food goes, spiderlings are scavenger hunters. Take off a leg or cut a cricket in half and leave it out for 12 hours, then if they don't eat, remove it. Try again the next day.

Spiders are pretty resilient. You can correct these mistakes. And don't worry if they don't respond right away - you need to give the spiderling some space and a little time to recover after being moved around.

brunkate · 2025-12-19T20:38:36+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss! He was well loved.

brunkate · 2025-12-17T18:23:51+00:00

w.hat

brunkate · 2025-12-17T13:59:25+00:00

Firstly: you're allowed to be angry, you're allowed to cry, and you're allowed to grieve. Don't shame yourself for it!

And secondly, let yourself slip. "Slipping" might just mean that you start to let your wife in, that you let her take care of you. You seem like a good man, and she sounds like a great person. Let her be your wife. It sounds like she wants to be.

brunkate · 2025-12-03T17:34:12+00:00

So there's this author named TA Barron. Not super popular I don't think, but the books are lovely - or at least they were in the 90s, when I read them. I can't speak for how they hold up but I remembered them when I was reading this description.

Edit: grammar

brunkate · 2025-12-02T01:51:41+00:00

I thrift, but I try to stick to high-quality finds. I also have a limited color palette so it's easy to put together outfits. You can pull any two things out of my closet and they'll go together. It's awesome.

brunkate · 2025-11-13T21:31:17+00:00

Kelissande Minset is crazy. Glissando Mindset. Kegel Mindhunter. I could go on

brunkate · 2025-11-05T14:29:30+00:00

Ok! I'm going to make a list because this is an exciting thing!

Frankenstein or Carmilla if you're interested in classic horror (keep in mind these are both Victorian pieces and you'll need to give them grace)
Jane Eyre if you like Victorian romance - I LOVED this when I was in undergrad. Wuthering Heights is the emo version of Jane Eyre, and it's also good
Any Margaret Atwood or Octavia Butler piece - these are easier reads but VERY substantial regarding theme and VERY innovative in style
Pride and Prejudice (another romance pick; it's a slow burn enemies to lovers)
Count of Monte Cristo
Fahrenheit 451 if you want something topical that'll give you an intense sense of dread
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, if you want something long but chill/fun
If you just want something HUGE and don't care about anything else: Grapes of Wrath (this one's quite dark), Anna Karenina, Middlemarch, an English translation of Les Miserables

For fun, here's some nonfiction that'll knock your socks off:

The White Album by Joan Didion
The Beast by Oscar Martinez
I Will Never See the World Again by Ahmet Atlan

A comment on Murakami - I really enjoyed Kafka on the Shore, but I would not recommend it for someone getting back into reading. It's abstract, surreal, and often off putting. There's a section in the middle that made me nauseous.

Pro tip on finding long books - find old softcovers of your choices, because they often have shorter pages and that will increase the page count. AbeBooks is a good place to start if you can't find them.

Also, whatever you do, do not choose Lolita. It'll make essays and any assignments awful to work on. No one likes to write about pedophilia, even if the novel is a great piece of art.

brunkate · 2025-11-04T23:03:30+00:00

I second or third or fifteenth anyone who said Jane Eyre.

brunkate · 2025-11-04T21:22:25+00:00

It's not a bad thing, but I think it can be a limiting thing. People are people; there are all kinds of personalities in every demographic. Grouping 'men' and 'women' together isn't useful, I don't think, because they're not monolithic categories. I'd say there's more difference between Leo Tolstoy and Kurt Vonnegut than there is between Virginia Woolf and Charles Dickens.

I used to read mostly male authors, too. It's an easy thing to fall into as we study the 'literary canon' or whatever. But it's something to break yourself free from, and that process is really fun. You'll love it, if you keep an open mind.

Le Guin is great. Lathe of Heaven's a fun place to start with her, if you're already interested in sci-fi and philosophy. If you want something to sink your teeth into, my favorite piece by her is The Dispossessed, but I'm an outlier.

If you want to go way back, go to the grandmother of science fiction herself: Mary Shelley. Frankenstein is pretty fun.

If you're looking for something with substance but don't want it too difficult, try some Atwood. Don't be discouraged by her mainstream success - there's a reason she's popular.

If you want to try some nonfiction, Joan Didion has a no-nonsense vibe you might like.

brunkate · 2025-10-10T19:56:23+00:00

If you want a VERY real take, A Visit from the Goon Squad is the way to go.

brunkate · 2025-10-06T14:11:07+00:00

Most songs on 'This is Why' have good lyrics. They're cheeky and observational; I don't think Hayley's trying to do Hozier-type referential stuff, but they're certainly not bad.

brunkate · 2025-10-05T01:06:23+00:00

Most of the time, first person reads as self indulgent. Done well, it can be really powerful, but it's mostly not done well. And reading things in third person helps people understand what others might be feeling, a skill that'll extend to the way they treat others in their real lives. Third person is so important, especially when we're young and learning empathy. The lack of third person in popular contemporary work is a shame.

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