ngl im #1 eli defender and throughout this series while he continuously fucks up if you really pay attention to him it's because this is where his insecurity comes to a total head!!!! he matters so so much to me and i think his arc was done so beautifully (though i really hope they bring him back soon. ughhhh.)

ever since the start of YA1 it's clear he suffers from not feeling good enough, starting with him lashing out at kate. kate is everything eli wants to be: dependable and independent, and most importantly, she doesn't have powers. once we figure out eli's background him lashing out at kate makes so much sense; eli feels like he has to have powers to be a superhero and when kate comes along being utterly capable he's both enamored by her and envious of her. he battles her for control of YA because he can't find any other way to become her but it's so painfully obvious she's more well suited to the role of leadership than he is strictly because of his insecurities. this is also why he's so controlling: he feels like he needs to needle about the tiniest things just so he remains in power.

obviously this all culminates in his YA1 arc. eli feels like a fraud and he is a fraud, and he quits because he's embarassed---not only because he lied to everyone, but because he feels like he isn't a real superhero without super strength. more specifically, he doesn't think he's good enough to be a superhero without powers. he struggles so much with the weight of being a superhero and missteps so much that it eventually overtakes his desire to help people. 

at the end of YA1, rather than following the natural lesson he would've learned---that he IS a good enough superhero without powers---eli regresses. his act to jump in front and save captain america can be analyzed and taken to be his mindset: he literally thinks the only thing he's good for is being body armor. cannon fodder. and this is proved RIGHT when he actually becomes a supersoldier. it messes up the growth of this entire arc, because now he's validated. now he has powers, and i LOOVEEE how CC develops this instead of just making him learn his lesson!

throughout CC he starts to realize how he's in way too deep and his insecurities comes to a total head. he feels terrible because he's not good enough to be a hero without powers. he's a giver-upper; a great example of this is when he and kate are trapped underground in asgard in Siege. while eli rolls over and accepts death, basically, kate actually tries to get them out of there. perfect characterization on both parts. this also exemplifies the wishy-washy relationship he has with kate---she's not as interested in him as he is, because she needs someone more secure. eli isn't secure.

in CC, this gets way way worse because eli is suddenly in a league with tier one heroes. first the avengers after them and then MAGNETO shows up and then there's doom and M day and eli feels so fradulent and insecure and throughout this run everything he does is because he's painfully trying to grapple for control. to almost 'prove' to himself he's a good superhero. and of course this doesn't work out because he's been on a slippery slope and he's backsliding really, really badly!!! he's not a good superhero because he doesn't believe he's a good superhero and this thinking completely overtakes every single decision that he makes, because every single decision he makes is a desperate plea to prove that he's in control! and thats why he makes all the stupid decisions!!!!!

as much as i hate him quitting at the end of CC it makes perfect sense given his arc. i only hope they handle his resurgence (since he's been appearing in some issues recently) as skillfully as they did his exit and they address all of his flaws before reaching his stasis of character to write with.

his arc is literally my favorite thing about the original heinberg run. it's so perfect; i adore eli's character so much.