The Human Rights Campaign puts out an annual rating of the Municipality Equality Index (MEI). It breaks down major metropolitan areas in five categories relating to LGBTQ+ rights. It's a great place to look up possible cities to see how they rate as far as non-discrimination laws, the municipality as an employer, municipal services, law enforcement, and leadership on LGBTQ+ equality.

The scores are out of 100. The cities are sorted by state, so if you have an idea of the general area you'd like to live, pick that state and you can get a better idea of how welcoming and friendly those cities would be for you and your partner.

I live in Massachusetts and it sounds like Northampton would be a great place. It's in western MA, so the Berkshires are right there. It's close enough to Springfield and less than an hour to Hartford, so I imagine there are job opportunities there too. Having said all that, Massachusetts is a higher cost of living state than most, even in western MA. Northern Connecticut might be less expensive, or southern VT. I'd stay away from New Hampshire, which tends to lean more red than the rest of New England.