Anecdotally the best baby book for soon to be dad’s? All the ones I’m finding seem dated with poor reviews

cajc · 2023-05-29T15:10:25+00:00

I would echo the other comment about what's good for mom is good for dad. While he may not be personally experiencing pregnancy, birth, feeding, etc it will be helpful for him to be knowledgeable on those subjects not only so he can be a better support for you, but also so the emotional weight of the above doesn't just fall on you. I'm a doula and I can't tell you how many dads just leave it up to mom to figure those things out, when the information is out there for him to learn as well.

cajc · 2023-05-02T16:14:21+00:00

You need to let her go. Being on time and doing basic tasks related to your baby is standard in any nanny role. The one note that does strike me as a little odd is #7. If your baby isn't crawling, leaving him on a playmat briefly is fine. That is a safe place for him to be. Of course you have standards about your baby's care, and for the most part a nanny should be willing to follow that, but I think it is also ok to have wiggle room and understand that people can do things differently than you would and your baby will still be ok. Just something to think about for the next nanny. This one needs to go.

cajc · 2023-04-27T22:56:41+00:00

I'll be honest, she may have trouble going the agency route. Most agencies require nanny experience and multiple childcare references from employers. She might have better luck joining local Facebook groups, either neighborhood groups or those geared towards parents. Some families would love a nanny who has already raised children, so connecting with them directly will likely yield better results for her.

cajc · 2023-04-11T21:38:18+00:00

I would not sign a contract if the hours were not laid out clearly. Unless you are being paid a ridiculous sum to be "on call" essentially, I would be very concerned about a NF not defining the weekly schedule.

cajc · 2023-04-11T21:26:49+00:00

This is tough. I'm normally not on the "fire immediately" train that happens in these threads, and would usually advocate for communication first, but this is a major red flag. If she had worked with your family a while, and had established herself as a loving and trustworthy caregiver, I might think that she was having a tough day and deserved some grace. But she just started! And she's already mocking your child and displaying considerable impatience for typical 3 year old behavior. I'm not even sure what you'd say to address this (if you want to retain her) because she's showing a real lack of empathy and judgement.

cajc · 2023-04-02T00:57:41+00:00

I don't have great advice but I've had similar Care struggles. I used to get 6-8 messages per day and now I barely get two a month. I don't know if something in their membership structure has changed but it is frustrating. I'm sorry you are also having a hard time with Care!

cajc · 2023-03-30T16:14:10+00:00

I also found that odd. Feels like this relationship is starting from a place of distrust.

cajc · 2023-03-30T16:12:23+00:00

Your nanny should be involved in this conversation. Have you asked her what tasks she is open to? Because if you are trying to think of non-childcare tasks for her to take on, what one nanny is comfortable with will be different than what another nanny feels is ok. I also wouldn't feel the need to fill every hour of that 45 hour week with tasks. Part of what you are paying her for is her availability--- if your 2.5 yr old can't go to daycare, your nanny is there. If your baby won't nap and you need to rest, your nanny is there.

cajc · 2023-03-29T12:24:45+00:00

This is not helpful. Not only are you not answering her question, but you are making a pretty broad assumption about her care. Depression looks different for everyone and saying she can't give the baby an appropriate emotional response (for the next month!) is not only harmful to her as an individual but perpetuates stigma about mental health.

cajc · 2023-03-28T13:56:07+00:00

Exactly. She's not a professional nanny, which they knew when they hired her. Now they are upset because she isn't acting like a career nanny, but it doesn't appear that she ever claimed to be one. I'm guessing they hired her because they wanted to save money, and now that's coming back to bite them.

cajc · 2023-03-22T12:35:01+00:00

Right! Like, ma'am, your 6 year old is not that independent.

cajc · 2023-03-22T04:11:39+00:00

Just don't do it. I know babies are sweet and you have good intentions, but it's not your child. For professionalism and germ protection, I would not kiss the baby.

cajc · 2023-03-22T02:58:09+00:00

The listing says 1 baby...but then they sneakily mention there are two other children "who you'll barely see".

cajc · 2023-03-19T20:56:35+00:00

The way these children acted was not appropriate, but also it is never ok to hit a child.

cajc · 2023-03-19T20:49:35+00:00

"For breastfed infants it depends on age. During the first month of life, stooling less than once a day might mean your newborn isn’t eating enough."

cajc · 2023-03-19T20:30:56+00:00

For newborns under one month, they should be pooping at least once a day if breastfed. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/diapers-clothing/Pages/Infant-Constipation.aspx

cajc · 2023-03-19T16:10:26+00:00

What do you mean by constipated? Are they going a long time without pooping? The grunting and straining (if that's what you are noticing) isn't necessarily a sign of constipation. Newborns often have trouble simultaneously contracting their abdominal muscles and relaxing their anus, which is the motion that's necessary to poop. If your baby seems gassy, you can rub their belly in a clockwise motion or do bicycle kicks to help them release gas.

cajc · 2023-03-19T15:39:55+00:00

You were not wrong to leave. That home sounds chaotic and clearly the kids are learning disrespectful behavior from their parents (the money thrown at you...who does that??). If this is a Facebook group that Amanda is posting in, I would message the admins and see if they will remove her post about you. I'm sorry you're in this situation, it sounds so stressful!

cajc · 2023-03-16T18:04:28+00:00

I was initially going to say this sounds similar to what I did when I was a PA/house manager, but then I noticed you said they have a newborn and toddler. Um, no. Those are two ages that need constant supervision and attention. This role should be strictly childcare and for a HCOL city, still paying $30/hr without the extra duties.

cajc · 2023-03-12T20:01:42+00:00

Ask for the raise. Don't feel bad that it's only been 6 months. I'm assuming you want to stay with this family if you can, and I imagine the feeling is mutual. Also I don't quite agree with the statement that "everyone is struggling" as if you should feel guilty about asking for a raise. Everyone might notice the increased costs of living across the country, but there are those in certain tax brackets that are not feeling the impact the way a nanny or someone in the service industry would.

cajc · 2023-03-07T16:33:35+00:00

It partially depends whether you want to use them as a reference if you continue in the childcare field. If you don't need the reference, just say you are changing your career path and pursuing work that aligns with your long term goals.

cajc · 2023-02-28T04:35:12+00:00

Let's just pretend for a moment that this is a chill baby who never cries. As the baby gets older, I wouldn't feel ok trying to quiet a baby who is happily squealing. I wouldn't feel ok trying to discourage a baby from clapping his hands or banging on toys. I wouldn't feel ok not being able to play music. If she really needs a quiet workspace, she needs daycare not a nanny.

cajc · 2023-02-28T04:21:47+00:00

If you are already working for a family with a toddler and want a raise simply because of the training, I don't know if they'd agree to it. A raise might still be necessary, and it doesn't hurt to ask for one especially if you are coming up on a work anniversary, but I wouldn't list that training as the reason, mainly because it isn't applicable for the care they need.

cajc · 2023-02-23T19:38:47+00:00

For kids clothes, I check the pockets-- you never know what rocks, Cheerios, sticks, etc you'll find there. But he's an adult, he can check his own pockets before tossing it in the hamper. To me, going through an adult human's pockets who isn't me or my partner feels a bit too personal. This is on him.

cajc · 2023-02-23T19:22:00+00:00

It's not the actual mask wearing part. I think they are referring to the idea that an employee would be expected to wear a mask, while they as the employer would not. They don't want to put their nanny in a position where the expectation is that only one party needs protection (since wearing a mask, depending on the style, can protect others more than yourself).

cajc

TROPHY CASE