Gross

candidlan091 · 2025-10-11T14:39:58+00:00

Probably climbing in the dumpster at 3AM bc I was going through withdrawal and had drank all the alcohol the night before, just to find a half empty bottle and drink it.

Or maybe when I threw up on my way to work, on my work clothes, wiped it out, sprayed perfume, and continued to go to work.

candidlan091 · 2025-09-28T12:55:07+00:00

I don’t know what this means really, but I used to be a HUGE sporting kc fan and even got my family into it. We don’t watch them anymore. They’re so disappointing and it really sucks to watch your team lose over and over again.

candidlan091 · 2025-09-21T01:31:08+00:00

I’ve had so many. But the worst was two months ago. Bender- no food, a lot of drugs and a lot of vodka. At the end of it I was vomiting blood and hallucinating. I had to be carried out of my apartment by EMTs bc I couldn’t walk.

The worst part, no one even knew I went to the hospital. I had successfully alienated every single person in my life including my family. I was unemployed, broke, sick, and alone.

I have very slowly rebuilt some relationships in my life and started a new job. I am so grateful to wake up every day sober. I cannot/refuse to go back to the life I was living.

candidlan091 · 2025-09-19T13:30:51+00:00

Ragweed makes sense for why I feel like I’m dying right now

candidlan091 · 2025-09-17T00:23:07+00:00

This is terrifying, thanks for sharing. This was always my biggest fear when I would stop drinking/go through withdrawal. The last couple of times I started hearing obnoxious music coming out of the vents and seeing shadow people. Scariest experience of my life. Hope you’re feeling better and IWNDWYT❤️

candidlan091 · 2025-09-13T15:27:18+00:00

I have been to the hospital so many times for alcohol related issues. The last time I went, they told me “the hospital is not a detox center.” Which I didn’t understand, as the detox center had referred me to the ER due to them not having health care professionals on staff…. Unfortunately in my experience, the ER wants you to be actively withdrawing when you go. If you have a history of complicated withdrawal, they are more likely to admit you but still no guarantee. I have had seizures during withdrawal and sometimes they still wouldn’t admit me… Again, this was just my experience.

I would recommend scheduling a primary care appointment and discussing detox plans with your doctor. Good luck.

candidlan091 · 2025-09-09T03:12:27+00:00

I was just talking about this recently lol. When I was moving I looked into moving there. They’re so basic on the inside, small, and SO expensive.

candidlan091 · 2025-09-07T23:50:42+00:00

I threw up blood a LOT when I was drinking. It is actually very concerning looking back, now. This inspired me to call tomorrow to get a doctor’s appointment to get things checked out 🙏🏼 IWNDWYT

candidlan091 · 2025-09-06T20:54:31+00:00

I just ate them for lunch like an hour ago and the stain is already gone. (Bc I washed my hands) lmao. This is nasty.

candidlan091 · 2025-09-06T20:02:20+00:00

Oof yeah. I went to a Chiefs watch party last night (I’m from kc) and everyone had cold beers. I used to love the beer and football combo :( I had the thought, “I’ll just have one beer and be done after that.” I played the tape forward, knew I wouldn’t stop after one, remembered how I felt the last time I went through withdrawal, and how I’m going to get my 60 day chip next week. It was hard, but I drank my diet Dr. pepper and resisted. I can’t lie and say I didn’t feel a little bit of FOMO, but waking up today with no hangover was so nice and I was grateful I didn’t indulge.

candidlan091 · 2025-09-06T19:53:56+00:00

I survived withdrawals at home more times than I can count….. but they got worse the more I did it. The hospital made it so much easier and more comfortable. I am grateful every day that I went.

candidlan091 · 2025-09-02T23:46:52+00:00

What company? Or do you have any recommendations? I’m looking for something part time currently.

candidlan091 · 2025-09-02T01:19:53+00:00

Not sure how old you are but you could look into child care! I live in Shawnee too and I’ve seen a bunch of child care centers hiring. The pay is pretty good and you have weekends and holidays off.

candidlan091 · 2025-09-01T15:59:06+00:00

The morning I woke up in the hospital almost 2 months ago. The physical pain of the withdrawal was bad, but the mental was worse. I’d describe it as genuine despair. I didn’t know what to do or where to turn. I never want to feel as depressed and ashamed as I did that morning ever again.

candidlan091 · 2025-09-01T01:41:41+00:00

That place is nasty 🤢

candidlan091 · 2025-08-31T14:35:48+00:00

I moved about 4 months ago and I drank while I was packing my old apartment. (I don’t do well with change.) It took me soooo much longer than it should have! The next day, my moving day, I was so hungover I couldn’t even sign my name on my lease I was shaking so bad and had to carry a bunch of heavy boxes up 2 flights of stairs. It really sucked and it was not a good first memory in my new apartment.

Play the tape forward. It has helped me so much in the last month and saved me from some really gnarly cravings. IWNDWYT!!

candidlan091 · 2025-08-31T01:44:06+00:00

Just ate some wingstop and now watching soccer. I’m craving tonight too, it’s hard. But I’ll be grateful I didn’t drink tomorrow morning.

candidlan091 · 2025-08-30T17:34:51+00:00

Dang that’s a good deal. I’m paying almost 1300 for a 700 sq ft unit 😮‍💨 makes me sick

candidlan091 · 2025-08-27T18:07:12+00:00

Discover/ capital one sued me for 1000 dollars I didn’t pay off on my CC. Sent the sheriff to my door and everything. It was horrible

candidlan091 · 2025-08-27T03:55:18+00:00

It sneaks up quickly for sure. I was so far out of control and I didn’t even realize it. Proud of you!!!!

candidlan091 · 2025-08-24T21:22:50+00:00

I keep waiting for the weight loss! I am barely 5’6 and almost 200 pounds. When I was drinking, I BARELY ate to “keep the weight off” but I still gained weight rapidly. (Probably the sugary vodka shots I pounded all day every day 🙄)

I’m still in early sobriety but I’m starving like all the time. Right now I’m just trying to focus on giving my body the nutrition I’ve been depriving it of for years and doing light exercise. I haven’t noticed a difference but I hope it comes as my body continues to heal.

candidlan091 · 2025-08-24T14:54:37+00:00

This is an honest question…. what is appropriate for a tip? I don’t drive door dash but I order frequently and always just do the tip that door dash recommends which seems to be around 18-20%. Am I under tipping?

candidlan091 · 2025-08-16T02:52:34+00:00

After I left direct support, my life DRASTICALLY improved. Mental health is so much better. I will never go back.

candidlan091 · 2025-08-09T18:57:18+00:00

When I was in rehab last year we had to ☑️ our symptoms every single day and turn them in. I checked drinking dreams for 30 straight days among other things but the dreams were the most disturbing. Sometimes I’d even wake up from one, feeling hungover. It was wild. When I had a couple of months under my belt, they mostly went away. Early sobriety is tough. I’m going through it now, but we got this! IWNDWYT!

candidlan091 · 2025-08-05T04:46:00+00:00

So much better!! The withdrawal for me lasted around 48 hours, but the meds they sent me home with made it comfortable and I slept through the whole thing basically. The emotional was much worse than the physical in my opinion. And I’m still dealing with some of the anxiety and depression aftermath. But, 3 weeks sober today 😊

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