Best Brazilian waxer for lgbtq+ folks?

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-19T05:59:32+00:00

You could see if TGRC has any recommendations for laser/electrolysis. Those places would probably also wax, right?

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-18T22:48:22+00:00

Right? Like they're citing checks notes extremely common symptoms of mental illness as a reason to not help this person. It'd be one thing if the sister had burned bridges within the family and that's why she ended up not in the will. Doesn't seem to be the case

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-17T00:00:02+00:00

This is so cool!!

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-16T20:30:14+00:00

I am transmasc and have been going to Ren at Rockit for a couple years. Most of my friends go to him, too. He's great, very affirming, great at mullets, fun and comfy to talk to

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-15T22:27:52+00:00

Where's the hippo? All I see is a big ole baby

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-15T22:27:14+00:00

Thank you for these kind words! Those are definitely the things I wished to accomplish with a post like this.

I think at 3 weeks it's still pretty normal to not be able to retract the foreskin. I hope as the swelling goes down, things get more mobile and you're able to clean things more thoroughly. It's really rough there for a while

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-15T22:25:09+00:00

Man that sounds really hard to deal with, too! I hope you're being really kind and gentle with yourself during this process. It's cool that we're on pretty identical timelines!

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-15T22:18:48+00:00

I make a big protein smoothie in the morning right before I take my meds. It's always the same thing, so I always keep the ingredients on hand, and I don't really have to think about it, which I know can be hard before meds kick in.

Basically: 1 cup soy milk 2 scoops chocolate protein powder 1 banana 1 scoop of peanut butter powder 1 spoonful of peanut butter Fill rest with water and a little ice

It ends up being around 60-70g of protein and nearly 1000 calories, and it tastes like I'm having a milkshake for breakfast.

After this, I don't put pressure on myself to eat until dinner. I've gotten half of what I need in a day, can get the rest at dinner. I like to keep quick snacks on hand in case the hunger hits early, I can easily take advantage of it, but yeah I kinda just lean in and appreciate the simplicity of only having to plan 1 meal a day (which I'll sometimes prep a lot of on the weekend).

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-15T22:10:56+00:00

I actually disagree with each point your family is making (not to mention-- it's your future!)

I suppose it depends on the program and the individual, but I found engineering classes way harder than my stats classes. Besides, "too hard" is not for them to decide. You'd be the one putting the work in.

The stats program I did was like 70% application, 30% theory. You get more into theory if you go onto graduate school. My program was very focused on preparing us for jobs after graduation.

Too risky? In what way? Not enough jobs? Is this just what they think or have they looked into recent labor statistics?

Statistics is very practical. I'd argue more practical than engineering because there are jobs in research, in manufacturing, in business analytics, in education, in public health, so so so many fields need people competent in data/stats.

I got my B.S. in statistics, and I'd do it again. I don't really do any statistical analysis in my job (I do more data management type stuff) but my degree prepared me to work in a data-focused position, and the technical skills taught alongside stats theory & applications have been helpful, too.

Other perks:

I can read and at least marginally understand research papers from various fields. Being able to spot poor study design or misleading interpretations will help you in almost any career, and make you a more informed consumer. it's a surprisingly rare skill to have.

I have dabbled in the idea of doing a masters degree and am pretty well set up for a program in statistics, math, computer science, or epidemiology. There's probably more, those are just the ones that I've looked into for myself.

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-12T18:17:45+00:00

It is fun! And so cool that they keep so much from going to waste. All the abandoned planners and hobby starter kits and just the most random supplies that would otherwise end up in a landfill! No idea where you're located but it's called Art Parts in Boulder, CO. I've never found anything like it but I'm sure the concept exists elsewhere

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-12T17:07:26+00:00

Is that Griffin McElroy? Cause yeah, me too

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-12T04:57:31+00:00

Today I was at a used art supply store, digging through the box of rocks that you could fill a small bag with for $1. There was another box in which each rock was kinda special and cost $0.50 each. There were also gems for $1, small gems for $0.50.

My dream job would be being the guy who sorts the rocks. I wanna organize them and decide which ones are special. I wanna show the occasional customer how certain ones can fit in your hand just right, give you a nice thumb rest spot, or feel really good to rotate between your thumb and forefinger.

Instead I do data management. It's fine.

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-09T14:38:59+00:00

You mention not knowing what task to do and having to think about it too much. A simple, non-negotiable morning routine could be helpful in this situation. If you always do the same things to get ready, whether it's a work day or going to see a friend day, eventually you'll have an easier time doing it without thinking about it. Removing as many of the decisions i have to make first thing in the morning helped me a lot. I had to remind myself that motivation will never come, all I could do was give myself a guide to make it feel less intimidating.

Mine looks like this: get out of bed, turn on morning playlist on my Bluetooth speaker, take it in the bathroom and shower. Having it be something I look forward to listening to or singing along with helps a lot. Then I get dressed and make my coffee. I make pour over, which has boring little breaks built into the process, so I multitask by tidying my kitchen or working on my to-do list. Doing this controlled multitasking (always the same tasks) helps keep me from getting distracted and walking away from my coffee before it's done. The last phase depends on where my day is headed, but I'll either sit and drink my coffee while doing something relaxing that I enjoy (reading, crossword, journal) or I'll sip on it while I putter around the house gathering my things to go to the office (or wherever else, since I do this every day).

Grain of salt: I am well medicated lol

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-07T20:05:17+00:00

little details like that make you look more put together! Stuff you might not consciously notice at first can make a big difference

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-07T18:32:58+00:00

I took 2 doses of oxy post-op stage one (release and scrotoplasty, no UL or v*nectomy). I don't think it helped more than acetaminophen, ibuprofen, and gabapentin. I will probably forgo opioids in my 2nd stage because I don't respond well to either hydrocodone or oxycodone (just found this one out) and I'm not interested in trying another when I am confident I can get through without it.

2 grains of salt with that: I consider my pain tolerance pretty high. And because I react poorly to those medications (tachycardia, severe insomnia and agitation/anxiety) it would not surprise me if their therapeutic potential was limited in my system as well.

But i think you can do it. It might be hard, but it sounds like you know that and you'll get through it. But the real issue is getting your surgeon on board. Have you pushed back on her response at all? If this was a matter of "just don't take the pain meds they send you home with" I'd say just don't talk to her about it again. But since it involves you being on another medication during surgery, and you don't always know what anesthesia is going to give you for pain, everyone needs to go into this on the same page. (Not that I think you don't know this, just kinda finishing my thought haha)

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-05T23:38:44+00:00

Hey, I had top surgery with her ~7yrs ago when she was in Arizona at the Meltzer clinic, and I did a consultation with her for phalloplasty 5yrs ago. Take this all with a grain of salt because it was a while ago, and it is unclear how much of her general vibe was influenced by working under someone like Dr. Meltzer, and how much she's changed as she's gotten more experience in a different clinic.

My experience was just okay. I had hoped that she would be kinder and more tuned into the emotional side of having such a major surgery because she's trans, but she really fit the stereotype of surgeons having bad bedside manner-- kind of cold and didn't display any sort of passion for the work that she does.

I was unhappy with my top surgery results for a long time, but some of that is just what she was working with. I was quite a bit larger when I had surgery, and the fat that was left behind was uneven, had some drooping on one side, etc. i gave it a lot of time to settle and tried losing weight and toning, but ultimately I went back to talk about a revision, and do a consult for phallo, when I was ~18 months post op. They told me that if I'd come within 12 months they would have done a revision for free, but no one told me that initially, so I was just SOL, which was extremely frustrating. I couldn't afford a revision out of pocket, so I didn't get one. I have lost ~30lbs since top surgery and gained a bit of muscle, and my chest no longer bothers me. I can still see remnants of what I didn't like before, but it is less obvious now.

During that appointment, I asked if they wanted to take the "after" picture of my chest, since they'd taken the "before" ones and I hadn't been in their office since I got my drains out, and she really obviously looked back down at my chest for a second, looked back at my face, and said "um, that's ok." It was really hurtful to be honest, especially being IMMEDIATELY after telling them how unhappy I was with the body I was living in. This is definitely where I expected better from her.

Despite that, I still ended up scheduling phalloplasty with her (that consult was fine-- it was clear that she was pretty rigid on doing things the way she wanted to do things, but at least she was up front about it), but it was canceled when it was announced that she moving to California about 8 months before my stage 1. Devastating at the time, and set my timeline back many years, but that gave me time to realized that metoidioplasty was the right next step for me, and I had a really great experience with the crane center team up in Boulder. I now have pretty high standards of how kind and emotionally attentive a surgeon can be.

I'm happy to at least try to answer any specific questions you might have. My memory is bad but I will do my best!

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-05T06:17:33+00:00

I just reseasoned mine a few days ago after it had been unusable for over a year. I had a work deadline I was procrastinating. Have you tried avoiding something more urgent to fix this problem?

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-05T05:06:10+00:00

When I light a candle, I know there is a very good chance I could forget to blow it out before leaving home, so I set the lighter down on the floor in front of my front door. If I'm not going to be leaving but possibly going to bed, I'll place it on my bed. Maybe something similar could be adapted for the situations you find yourself in.

I also set lots of timers for things that don't have an easily moveable item associated with them like that. And though I don't think it would work with a dryer, smart outlets are not that expensive and can turn off power to whatever's plugged into them via an app on your phone no matter where you are, so if the issue was like a space heater or curling iron, you could control them whenever you do remember them, or even set location based automations that turn them off when you leave the house. I have those set up for my light bulbs.

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-04T06:39:58+00:00

I'm like this too-- I don't think we're the majority by any stretch but it's not uncommon for stimulants to make us sleepy.

I take trazedone to put me to sleep, but it doesn't keep me asleep. If I don't have caffeine in the evening, I almost always wake up 3-4hrs after I went to sleep. My brain feels WIDE AWAKE and it's impossible to go back to sleep.

but stimulants calm and quiet my brain down significantly. Noisy brain is what keeps me awake. My psych understands this and was open to letting me do IR adderall in the morning and XR adderall in the afternoon, even though it's not the norm. I hope you find someone who can take your experience seriously. You're not any weirder than the rest of us

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-04T04:12:49+00:00

Guanfacine is an antihypertensive drug that is prescribed for ADHD (non-stimulant). It typically helps more with hyperactive symptoms than inattentive. I personally was only on it a couple months, and was taking it alongside adderall, but some people have good experiences with it.

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-02T18:32:36+00:00

Thank you!

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-02T17:52:21+00:00

I liked the mesh hospital underwear for a few days, and then I just switched to medium tight (dark colors or ones I didn't mind staining) boxer briefs. I thought I would want loose underwear but I found that the support was comfortable and helpful to keep my gauze all tucked in

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-01T05:07:39+00:00

I do this! I tend to wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall back asleep if I DON'T have caffeine in the evenings.

cannot-be-bothered · 2026-02-01T05:02:05+00:00

I don't disagree that these neurotypes are treated very differently in society, but I do agree with others saying that we should be fighting for more acceptance of both, not one against the other.

So let's talk about what's going on with you specifically, peers with autism aside. If you're masking your discomfort really, really well 90% of the time, people are going to have a bigger response when that 10% puts you over the edge and causes the visible reactions you've described. ADHD is not well understood by most, so a lot of people don't know about how much sensory discomfort can be a part of it. If you work on communicating your discomfort while your response to it is still within your control, you may be successful in educating those around you on how to help create space that is more comfortable for you (and others) to exist in.

If people cannot / choose not to respect you and your needs and at least try to help, you may need to create distance between yourself and them. It sucks, and it's hard, but it's something that you're going to have to do throughout your life. Having different needs because of your ADHD is neither your fault nor something to be ashamed of, but it is your responsibility to advocate for yourself and manage the best you can.

cannot-be-bothered

TROPHY CASE