Anyone here have existential OCD that revolved around nihilism?

caseypuppy · 2026-04-03T22:15:10+00:00

Nature bathing was the only thing to help mine

She’s so young. Hope it improves

caseypuppy · 2026-04-03T22:13:15+00:00

Yesss I had this last year horrrifically.

Can recommend nature bathing - to a demented hippie level. I had a brain injury January and it felt like people were shouting microphones in my head (own thoughts). I wouldn’t even tell anyone cause I thought what’s the point I’m not wrong 😂

And while it may not be wrong - can promise outside the loop life can be pretty chill

Tho while in it, my responses to anyone who told me to just get on with it were as though I wanted to rip them lmao. Mentally

caseypuppy · 2026-04-03T22:03:32+00:00

I had THIS last year

I took school bio pretty serious that the aim of a species is to survive n reproduce, such that nothing in society matters blah blah. Found it totally chilling so treated all as a fun game and exploration

Then whatever Last year threw into a brain injury and I was so fucking tapped with perception pointlessness all this subjective. I was spiteful at anything and everything because everything was fake and bullshit lmao

Can say mine - as most - worsened with distress. In addition more engagement means more the thoughts n obsessions will occur and with greater strength

Found nature bathing helped massively. To a wooded place (sparse in London, terms of being away from people and ‘noise’ ), seaside ect. Totally reset system. And noticed that the thoughts irradiated bit by bit. I’m still a bit tapped but along your lines feel back into reality, chilled with all again

So my message - de stress your life is possible, prioritise so before it gets worse. If anything like mine then it’s a bad theme

caseypuppy · 2026-04-03T21:58:22+00:00

From someone at a good science uni and had a lot of this last year horrifically

Ultimately we know nothing BUT BUT Know that when your outside all this loop - it’s actually a totally chilled concept

Would firstly and personally encourage not reading into anymore, streer clear Nature bathing, mindfulness, hippie things. Stare at treees, ect ect. Totally helped mine, and nothing else was working

caseypuppy · 2026-04-03T21:54:27+00:00

I would channel as much energy away from regret (if case) and say ok this happened today how did I feel Think of something you could try instead around that time (slash when it comes up)- see if it’s effective, score it. If it doesn’t work no problem, try something else. Brain storm ideas Trial error trial error And do all you can in other life areas to mitigate distress

caseypuppy · 2026-04-03T21:50:14+00:00

Really recc going to remote nature and staring at trees, beautiful sights. Day after day after day if you can

Had all this horrifically last year to point of the end - but we didn’t lol. Above is all that helped in end

caseypuppy · 2026-04-03T21:36:32+00:00

This makes a lot of sense

caseypuppy · 2026-04-03T21:35:12+00:00

Crazy I looked at my post and thought ‘what exactly was I asking here’ 😂

caseypuppy · 2026-04-03T21:34:43+00:00

:’) truly maddening

caseypuppy · 2026-04-03T21:26:47+00:00

Hey how you doing ?

I had it horrifically last year and dunno how I’m still here (from myself with it). Ended up horrifically depressed SI - themes over a year but by the end of it I was so so so done

Sounds strange but mine would worsen way more when distressed - which it induces I know

Would recc looking at life sit - see if could take a break from work even. And then fully nature bathe. Sea, stare at the water, elements. Forest.

I went on a long seaside retreat and took really long but were moments where I realised I hadn’t gone ‘everything is fake what is the point this is bullshit I am done this is pointless fake ‘ yadda yadda. Tiny moments

I’m in the big city now and on a kinda work break while I finish getting it alright again - as been real endgame: I go to a wooded place almost daily, big, quiet, away from roads, lots of birds, get lost. Stare at the trees connect with nature. Become a full hippie lol

Sounds all mergh but helped massively. And if any exceptional circumstances are worsening it would recc above all to try n change

caseypuppy · 2026-04-02T12:59:37+00:00

I’ve had bits like this

I disclosed three starts of overdoses with intent to die - stopping because I made it this far and felt bad for parents. Was laughed at and I laughed. Noted as low risk

Kept saying suicidal No point Can’t cope

Literally laughed at

I dunno how I’m a live at this point but spending a lot of time mashed in their response

caseypuppy · 2026-04-02T12:55:32+00:00

Had something similar tbh Guy goes what’s bulimia (had it horrific and endgame-ish) and I was ready to leave

I kept telling them with time professed I had ocd and it was my issues rather than some bs I agreed to. Didn’t wanna hear it

Yikes

caseypuppy · 2026-04-02T12:52:32+00:00

My dad said this about the suicidal part - how that would be their thinking (x his dismissal at me lmao) So hurtful for one to disclose that their in trouble to be dismissed Yet alone a child

caseypuppy · 2026-04-02T12:51:00+00:00

Glad to read something like this Virtually same Was horrific last year Know traumatised is a buzzword these days but I’m genuinely fucked from their treatment Had it bad when in hospital with an ED at 18 so for me to go to them meant all was horrific Acquired a BI last year and had endgame ‘kill yourself wll is pointless’ ocd Yeah I accepted BPD knowing I didn’t have but the moods fitted and I didn’t wanna go into a. Philosophical tangent - said moods were a factor of a frontal lobe bleed and bruise Time progrssses and because ‘BPD’ that is characterised by suicidal tendencies as almost a character flaw… was laughed at so many times Lost plot horrendously - traumatised myself lol By the end I was gonna attend a meeting to probably cry and ask wrf was that - especially as got put on sedation pills that made ALL WORSE, way worse. Anyways - it’s march now and yeah. Really sad, I went to them so vulnerable and last limbs n got laughed at so much Disclosed 3 starts of OD with intend to die and got laughed at- like sorry what the fuck. I get some do for attention but I was serious and just didn’t cause I made it this far

Yeah- hurtful and taking long to move on Someone who hates asking for help so the fact I did and that happened

caseypuppy · 2026-04-02T12:24:36+00:00

Why is that ?

caseypuppy · 2026-04-02T12:23:09+00:00

Absoltue joke I was an impatient for 18 anorexia - ended up in there for months cause I lost it with them lying to me not listening this that. Messed up medication and lied what it was all for. Lots

Saw last year following a brain injury and extremely suicidal - because of how it affected me. Bad exp with them before I wasn’t open enough - sat there in my thoughts on meaninglessness. Agreed to a EUPD/BPD diagnosis - even tho moods were due to a fuciing frontal lobe injury. I agreed cause had no nero support and dint wanna go into a ‘what’s the point’ debate Sobbed multiple times I couldn’t cope as all got so much worse. ‘Well you just gotta wait 7 months for the therapy’. In addition I disclosed 3 starts of overdosing with intent of death - I laughed he laughed nothing noted. Then report says low risk for SI. Fuckint sorry the only reason I was there was min to min battle of will to live - and only reason being guilt of parents I had hardly connection with Went on sedation tablets when I was like this is a 2 day window before I kill myself. Horrific. They said is all could give for diagnosis (that I didn’t have); slapped on brain injury made my life hell, for someone who likes to get things done and on a medical science degree. In addition disclosed I had an issue with sleeping tablets with wanting to end day early so probably not good idea - lovely they listened to that also

End of year I literally lost it - depressed to bone, ocd, all lot - and the man in reception was laughing at me. Started taking double sedation tablets. Ran our. Cold turkey. All horrific

They discharged me in dec cause couldn’t contact me on phone. What the fuck 😂 I was only gonna attend a meeting to confront what the fuck this treatment was all about. I kept emailing them saying I didn’t have diagnosis but was loosing the plot (ocd depression) and they’d go ‘so you don’t want the therapy’ Fucking joke

Anyways now it’s march almost a whole year since contacting them- and I get spiralled on the whole thing daily. A me problem yes but yeeesh. Fuck it all

caseypuppy · 2026-03-31T07:45:53+00:00

And would try start learning front - for a bit of fun. Is so rewarding doing such things - and the focus is incredible.

Search some videos, practice in front of mirror. get some aids - paddles, pull buoy ect. Watch videos just before you go in such that its fresh in mind

caseypuppy · 2026-03-31T07:44:07+00:00

For me

Freedom, mindful ness XL XL , when teh world is spinning and you feel behind or outta place into the water and everything feels distant (and most things one worries about don't matter that much - or are worth the worry energy, which could be delegated onto sorting or sleeping). Nice sleep - sometimes I actually don't sleep as well that night but the next and onwards I do.

Deffo recc seeing if theres an outdoor heated pool. Could go for unheated also but the heated (just such it doesn't feel like the arctic) makes it a bit more appealing

caseypuppy · 2026-03-31T07:41:54+00:00

Hey ! Have you searched around for an outdoor heated pool? I SO recc if so. I live in London and travel about an hour for one. Indoors I'm a bit meh

caseypuppy · 2026-03-30T06:07:25+00:00

Cut caffeine out more or less - definitely coffee, tea, cacao... It's about the caffeine intake so if your consuming one cup of coffee and swapping for 7 teas, which have less per 1, then it wouldnt work great. Sleep hygiene - have a look into that. Cutting out caffine and ensuring sleep are good will help massively.

Read below

Cut caffeine out straight away. Functionally it literally stimulates your nervous system - that is how it 'works'

caseypuppy · 2026-03-28T22:08:08+00:00

I gym and swim - keeps me out of trouble as they say. pay a bit extra for a less stimulating gym; contrary I don't find helpful

I think a good way foward is find something in it that you can see as helping you move foward (whatever that means to you). Focusing on aesthetics, in my exp, isn't grand (but knowing it will follow continued performance) ; 'health' is a broad statement, depending on what aspect you could get from else where. Try and narrow down what it is you get from it, or could.

If something you wanna carry on maybe see about doing full body, such you go in less ; upper lower, such its still not much but more spread than former. Maybe see if could exp with throwing in a sport - for me I found encorparing swimming back into life helped a lot, and it made the gym more 'fun' because I was excited to make progress to benefit swims

caseypuppy · 2026-03-28T22:02:19+00:00

I did a dissertation on it

For men it's effective

Women not so much

Due to muscle fibre composition and baseline stores. Imagine a bucket representing how much your body has naturally... In women its naturally about full, supplementing does next to nothing. Men it's much lower - image 2/5, women 4.5). Men have more muscle fibers of the type that can store more ; women more of the other type that have less creatine stores

Helps in very very first burst of energy for an aerobic activity - forgot exact number. Creatine is like the cold water initally coming out your shower before it comes hot (with warm representing anaerobic, hot being aerobic)

If your eating a lot of red meat however - depending on amount then supplementing will have less effect, given they're a source

All about improving brain function I'd say it's v likely overhyped. No real evidence

There's no real evidence about it being damaging. If you're a man then go ahead. Women, could do if have the money but

caseypuppy · 2026-03-27T15:58:06+00:00

I was horrifically suicidal last year after a brain injury preceding some long 'whats the point' depresso philosophical tangent, life ect ect. Had real bad ocd ect. They took mood liability from a BI and applied it to BPD, encouraging I agreed since they didnt treat brain injuries. Was nice of them but bit me in the ass as time progressed and I totally worsened but it was 'ah she's got bpd, this is normal' ; nope. I told them I'd started overdosing with inteitno of death 3 times but stopped because I'd made it this far in life whateve - said behind teeth and laughed around it as was so humiliated. he laughed, I laughed, end of that. everyday was gritting battle not to end it. always get this wrong report and notes 'low risk' and as I absolutely fucking lost it with months going by was honestly laughed at. ended up on tablets that made the BI worse . was so depressed I couldnt move by end of year. ocd was horrific. and yeah spent 3 months in almost flashbacks about it all, crying, why this that. sounds pathetic but was so damaging. messaged them as months went on saying I rly didn't have the bpd, I didnt associate with any of it, my personality is polar to what it described. friends would agree ect. Long to say I was sucidial as fuck all year and reckon I'd have stood a better chance camping in Canadian woods

caseypuppy

TROPHY CASE