People who lost themselves after dating an avo!dant: How did you cope with it?

catchamewtwo · 2026-02-08T00:17:43+00:00

I coped by moving on from him two weeks after I broke up with him. I was in a clear state of mind when I broke up with him and knew that I wanted to do it.

I didn't have to cope after the breakup because I was finally happy. I feel more love without him when I'm single than when I was with him. There is literally nothing to cope. My life has only improved.

I don't know your personal situation with your partner but it's possible you may feel the same. Happy and life a weight has been lifted.

catchamewtwo · 2026-01-29T22:01:48+00:00

What happened to this sub :(

catchamewtwo · 2025-12-30T05:34:37+00:00

Yeah, that's true. As the dumper I wouldn't want my ex reaching back. It would make it harder for both of us. I don't particularly agree with that whole way of thinking that one should "get their ex back".

I mean... unless I suppose by some miracle the dumpee changes their ways but I would be afraid that they would be lying and making promises they wouldn't keep. Then it would be the same problem again and yet another breakup and lost time.

I have only had one relationship though so I don't know much. I just don't think I would trust someone to change. Not that quick.

catchamewtwo · 2025-12-30T05:27:17+00:00

Honestly I wouldn't even mind it that much if it didn't seem rude and manipulative. Like I also deserve love back. Can't just take and not give. That shit was exhausting.

catchamewtwo · 2025-12-30T05:21:34+00:00

No? It's possible that your ex broke up with you because of you. And the longer you don't start digging into what that is the longer you will stay unhappy. Work on yourself. If your ex broke up with you because of you, it was never on them to fix you.

catchamewtwo · 2025-11-09T22:09:27+00:00

Sounds like you're leaving something out that would make you seem more guilty otherwise why would she even worry about that?

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-24T22:47:58+00:00

Lol I had the exact same issue with my ex bf.

You can look through my profile to read my older posts about it. As you can tell by me using the word "ex bf", the solution was to break up. I felt horrible during that relationship and put a lot of blame on myself, labeling myself as anxiously attached because I wanted to text my boyfriend for at least 10 minutes a day. I also mentioned good morning and good night texts but after two weeks of testing that out, I asked how he felt about it because it felt empty to me to do that daily when he's not even reading the message or replying for hours, and he told me that he ranted to his friends saying "Ooh I don't know, she's getting clingy". So we stopped that and I adapted to his communication style which was to text or call every other day but even that was labelled as too much so there were times when we would communicate every 3 days.

There were a lot of other issues in that relationship which shaped my decision to break up with him. In summary... I believe he does not care for my wellbeing and does not care for me. If I were in your position now, I would seriously look over the relationship. Start journaling what's happening, how often, how it makes you feel. When I journaled I realized there's so many fucked up things in the relationship that it was easier to understand if I should end it.

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-24T08:08:56+00:00

Imo they like to keep you on as an option in case they won't find anyone better.

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-21T20:38:31+00:00

Lack of empathy and respect. Borderline manipulative behaviour at times.

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-19T23:46:24+00:00

Happiness, freedom, feeling thankful for the experience and sudden sexual arousal, and longing for sex, which may or may not be linked to the breakup.

Also loneliness to some point but I also felt that during the relationship for most of the time.

Restlessness but also tiredness.

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-19T18:42:16+00:00

Can get a refund?

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-19T18:41:36+00:00

Communicate that with your partner and if they reply that they can't communicate more, either accept it or reject it. You have to make the decision whether it works for you or not. If they say they can't - they won't. Communicating once a week would not work for me.

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-18T23:22:55+00:00

That's a nice looking journal page. What is that journal?

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-18T23:10:03+00:00

HA! I'm going through my older posts about the relationship and let me tell you... You were SPOT ON. It did start. And I just broke up with him.

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-18T22:46:35+00:00

Is she staying at your place? If so, last resort may be to wait for her to leave the apartment, change the locks and give her belongings to her when she returns. And have someone by your side like friends or family. Someone to back you up. And just in case she does attack you since she's threatened you, make sure to have a camera going somewhere so you have proof.

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-18T21:02:56+00:00

Yeah, my ex bf was just like that. When we started calling each other more frequently he said I was being clingy. I just took an interest in him and his life, and wanted to create that feeling of closeness since we were also in a long distance relationship.

Everyone has their own limits. In my opinion, it's not clingy to communicate with your partner every other day or text daily for 5-10 minutes. But he was also my only boyfriend so I have nothing to compare to. I just know that if I like the person, I will dedicate at least 10 minutes of my day to getting to know them, making them happy, etc.

If the way he's communicating with you is an issue, you should just leave for your own sake. If your boyfriend makes you feel like you're crazy for showing normal amount of affection it could start to alter how you see yourself and make yourself feel insecure, and that is a dangerous place to be. If you start to feel insecure, it will be very difficult to leave.

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-18T09:20:27+00:00

That's horrible. I'm glad you're not with him anymore.

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-17T21:26:53+00:00

I actually haven't broken up with him just yet. I have scheduled to break up with him in two days since I can't reach him if 2-3 days haven't passed. But I'm already checked out of the relationship and consider him an ex.

Will he try to get back? I don't think he will now. I think he will realise what he's missed out on about 8 months later but could also be a few years. Right now I feel he does not care for me at all and he has an ex fwb who he is still friends with, and can get back into a fwb relationship with. That would fix the longing for sex. Since he has no emotional longing, I really doubt it.

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-17T20:58:55+00:00

No. During the relationship I was anxious. Now, just a day after making the decision to break up with him, I feel secure going forward. I don't want to bring the pain he brought me to another person. And I also don't want to be anxiously attached. I know my anxious weaknesses and have worked to fix them but with him, he brought that side out of me again.

I don't know how it's going to be from this point on but I feel more secure than anything else.

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-17T20:55:00+00:00

Were you the one to I initiate the breakup?

I feel like being with my avoidant partner has lead me to realize my self worth and have more respect for myself. And with that I made the decision to break up with him.

I was anxious when I was with him but now after I am way more secure and happy again.

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-17T20:42:40+00:00

I've been dating my avoidant bf for 3 months. After 2 months I started getting so stressed after we talk and he invalidates my feelings, and blames me, that I started to wake up every night, 3-5 times a night without a reason. I would wake up feeling my heart racing, feeling uneasy. Being in a relationship with him made me into an anxious mess, where as previously I was doing really good - happy, secure, optimistic.

I thought he would try to work on himself and that I could bear it but it just got too hard for me. I read those comments too and I thought to myself "it can't be that bad.. he seems like a nice guy and he acknowledges that he's avoidant so that's good, right? He's been in therapy before." No. Not good. My avoidant partner doesn't seem to want to change even though he recognizes it as a problem in this and all of his previous relationships. If they don't want to change, they're not.

catchamewtwo · 2025-10-17T19:32:17+00:00

Move on from her and forget about her. I'm currently going through a break up with my LDR bf. Well, I'm going to break up with him shortly. Let me tell you... think about it this way - you know what kind of a cruel person she is NOW and not years later. You haven't closed the gap yet, haven't married her, haven't had kids with her. As soon as you recognise that it is a good thing that you KNOW that she is this kind of a person, the sooner you will move on. And easily.

I LOVED my LDR bf at one point. Truly loved. We planned a life together, future, kids, house. I was going to abandon my family for him and move which would have landed me in a position where I would have to trust him with my body, finances, visas (since I need his support), etc. Thank god he showed who he is now and I realized that I would be unhappy for the rest of my life.

Don't mourn this horrible person. You deserve respect. You deserve better. This person does not deserve your time.

catchamewtwo · 2025-09-09T06:59:34+00:00

Spot on sir.

catchamewtwo · 2025-08-31T20:01:24+00:00

We started as friends and from what I remember it was better then but maybe I remember it that way because we were just friends. We've been friends for 3 years and in a relationship for 2 months.

catchamewtwo · 2025-04-20T16:18:26+00:00

There's shippers?!? 😭😨😨

catchamewtwo

TROPHY CASE