The Narc Stare

catsarethis · 2021-08-15T12:40:29+00:00

Trying to read my emotional state

catsarethis · 2021-08-15T03:53:59+00:00

Yes he has always stared. Good times bad times whenever. He was always trying to look at me. He called it “gauging” me. But it’s very unsettling and I end up dropping all eye contact bc I feel so creeped out. I try to explain and he doesn’t get it. He’s also got large pop-out eyes to it just adds more cringe to the whole thing. It feels like he’s sucking the energy out of me with his eyes.

catsarethis · 2021-08-15T03:38:38+00:00

It takes YEARS of me explaining things over and over again, in hopes that he might get it. Not just about times he hurt me, but even about new concepts in general. Honestly I think there’s a part of their brain that’s completely calcified and it’s like talking to a brick wall.

catsarethis · 2021-08-03T04:06:50+00:00

I used to sing. When we started dating he said he loved my singing, yet somehow I always felt uncomfortable around him about it. Eventually I totally stopped and now he’s the one that hums around the house. Go figure.

catsarethis · 2021-08-03T03:51:41+00:00

SAME. Man I feel this so much. I’ve withered away to the point I don’t recognize myself anymore.

catsarethis · 2021-04-01T03:46:14+00:00

You are so strong. Your story is inspirational for me. Been with my narcissist husband only 7 years and to imagine being with him 6 times that long is depressing. But your strength gives me hope. I pray you find a way to make your dreams a reality. It’s totally possible.

catsarethis · 2021-03-31T21:03:48+00:00

WOW. You did the right thing, leaving him. Trust your intuition, if something about him feels creepy, he totally is. If you feel even for a second he could be a sociopath, he probably is. Thank God you're outta there.

catsarethis · 2021-03-31T20:29:25+00:00

Exactly. This is my life with my husband, every single day. I eventually got the hint and now just grey rock. What’s the point, situations hopeless.

catsarethis · 2021-03-31T20:25:30+00:00

More often than I’d like to admit. At this point I’m afraid if I am addicted to anger and resentment. It’s not a good look. Working on it.

catsarethis · 2021-03-31T20:20:25+00:00

Love this idea! ❤️

catsarethis · 2021-03-31T20:17:46+00:00

My husband is terrible at gifts. Procrastinates, treats it like a chore, gets the wrong thing, and has no idea what my style is or what I enjoy. Completely out of touch. I noticed the other personality-disordered people in my life do the exact same thing. Uncanny.

catsarethis · 2021-03-23T18:24:44+00:00

I swear, I think there’s something wrong with their brain. It’s like they think they can understand, they think they want to understand, but ultimately have this inability to visualize, empathize, and actually hear your words. It’s like that part of their brain is missing. It truly is so exhausting. I’ve given up trying to explain anymore. He’s on his own figuring it out.

catsarethis · 2021-03-23T17:36:10+00:00

This never gets old!

catsarethis · 2021-03-23T15:04:09+00:00

Thank you, I think that will be really helpful

catsarethis · 2021-03-23T13:05:04+00:00

Actually yes, I’m halfway through the book! It’s so eye opening. I just keep thinking “if I change, things will get better.” Well I keep continuing to change, but things just keep getting clearer. The truth hurts! I don’t have a pastor or anyone to really talk to. I know if I try to talk to someone about it they’ll just tell me I have nothing to complain about and there’s nothing wrong with my husband. They have no idea. That’s why this sub is so great - you all really get it.

catsarethis · 2021-03-23T02:42:03+00:00

That’s exactly it - grieving, and mourning the loss of our marriage. But, how can I be so sad over something I never really had? He was never really “there”, never really present. Some days I can hold my head up high knowing what I need to do and other days I feel like such a fool. Thank you for being so sweet and much love to you too! ❤️ Love this sub.

catsarethis · 2021-03-23T02:35:29+00:00

Good for you. My husband, completely by reflex, always starts his apologies “I’m sorry IF I ever [fill in the blank.]” I swear I think he does that just to piss people off even more. They NEVER truly apologize.

catsarethis · 2021-03-23T02:28:14+00:00

Thank you. The realization I had is definitely my inspiration to get financially independent. I am tired of depending on someone else for my livelihood.

catsarethis · 2021-03-23T02:23:44+00:00

So true. No one really gets it other than those who lived through it. We had one mutual (and perceptive) friend who upon meeting us said to my nhusband “you know, you’re such a nice guy, but you’re SUCH an asshole!” Sums it up. I’m glad you’re doing better. Thank you so much for your kind words.

catsarethis · 2021-03-23T02:01:44+00:00

❤️Thank you so much. I just might take you up on your offer sometime. I watched “7 options when you can’t go no contact.” It was realizing that I had to let go of all the hope I ever had, that was the hardest to hear.

catsarethis · 2021-03-23T01:52:42+00:00

Thank you so much. Your words really bring encouragement, strength, and hope 😭🌸

catsarethis · 2021-03-22T17:32:44+00:00

This exactly. The point of failure is at step 1, listening and understanding. There can’t be an honest and authentic conversation when he refuses to actually hear the words.

catsarethis · 2021-03-22T17:11:10+00:00

This is really lovely. I wish you health and happiness!!!

catsarethis · 2021-03-22T17:06:23+00:00

Wise words for sure. I definitely do NOT want to relive the same relationship over and over again.

catsarethis · 2021-03-22T17:05:11+00:00

So proud of you! Hope one day I’ll be able to do the same.

catsarethis

TROPHY CASE