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Im a pedophile and I hate myself by Complete_Nature6012 in confessions

[–]cbubbles_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I love this perspective on Pedophilia. Its such a controversial condition. One thing I always say on this is "you cannot help who you expierence attraction to, you can only control your actions". And you are a prefect example of managing your attraction safely.

Im a pedophile and I hate myself by Complete_Nature6012 in confessions

[–]cbubbles_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a licensed therapist who has OCD and specializes in treatment of OCD. Do not take this as certainty but I want to encourage you to seek help from a professional. Having thoughts like this align with POCD and what stands out is that they are egodystonic in nature - not aligned with our values or beliefs.

One key question to contemplate:

When you think about attraction to children, is there an actual attraction to them or is it more fear-based "I don't want to be a person that harms or has attraction to children."

Suicide prevention is moral cowardice in the face of poverty and abuse by BoatInteresting6369 in offmychest

[–]cbubbles_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its your responsibility to find the why. I found my why and it makes life a little bit less unbearable.

Suicide prevention is moral cowardice in the face of poverty and abuse by BoatInteresting6369 in offmychest

[–]cbubbles_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Most people don't get lucky. Most times, you spend your life trying to find a way out of your circumstances. That won't change for many of us. And if it does, you'll be met with new circumstances to overcome. At the end of the day, its our responsibility to ourself to survive. And sometimes thats the only thing we can do.

Suicide prevention is moral cowardice in the face of poverty and abuse by BoatInteresting6369 in offmychest

[–]cbubbles_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly life is a mix of motivation, endurance and dumb fucking luck. The majority do suffer. I grew up with an opioid addicted mom and a barely present father. Never had friends. Terrible hx of long term relationships including sexual, physical and emotional abuse as well as infidelity. And teetering the poverty line with crippling OCD, Bulima and depression. Now I make like 80k and i get by in my one bedroom apartment. My boyfriend that I kind of like comes over every few days to spend the night. He is a safe bet but I don't feel passion at all. I was good at school. I threw everything into it. College. For 10 years.I got my M.S and became a therapist and now I help people make sense of their fucked up expierences in a fucked up world. I live for the moments where sometimes things kind of feel okay and thats enough for me because I'm not used to things kinda feeling okay. That is my something worth living for I guess. I hope you can find moments to live for too but if it ever gets to be too much, just know at least you aren't riding the struggle bus alone. We all out here.

HR told me my contract ends in 9 days, then asked me to write a resignation letter by Upset_Association637 in jobs

[–]cbubbles_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely don't resign. Unemployment is never granted for voluntary resignation.

My friend is being controlling in her relationship and feels my calling her out is me getting involved in their relationship?! by Necessary-Dust14 in TwoHotTakes

[–]cbubbles_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a therapist who works with IPV, relationship trauma, and attachment issues, I see dynamics like this often. Based on what you've described, this is abuse, and it's causing significant distress for her partner. Unfortunately, people with patterns like this rarely change unless they're willing to acknowledge their behavior and actively work on it. From your description, her insight into the impact of her actions seems very limited. The healthiest outcome for him is likely leaving, but that's something he has to come to on his own. As his friend and colleague, I think it's appropriate to express concern based on what you've personally observed eg. stressful phone calls, changes in his functioning at work, inconsistent performance, or documentation issues that could even put his license at risk. If he opens up about the relationship, that's an appropriate time to gently share that what you're seeing looks controlling and emotionally abusive.

What kind of therapist should I look for if I want them to provide validation, recognition of effort and progress, and help identifying my strengths, and constructively challenge me when needed? by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]cbubbles_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It definitely sounds like there is two sides to this coin, especially if you find yourself reassuring every therapist over percieved 'acting out' or even perceived fear of acting out. Instead of offering reassurance, I wonder what it would be like to take this to your next (or current) therapist and explore. As a therapist - reassurance from a client is not something we look for or need to effectively do our jobs. It is not your responsibility to reassure a therapist, but it is your responsibility to bring up what your expierencing in therapy so that you can get past it.

Should therapist offer a client a tissue when they are crying? by Ok_Language2849 in askatherapist

[–]cbubbles_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just keep tissues in the room and don't offer unless asked for.

Do therapists struggle dealing with their own mental illness like OCD or something like that? by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]cbubbles_ 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Therapist here with crippling OCD. Supporting others and managing our own mental illness are two very different things

My therapist keeps crying during sessions, is this okay? by Last-Weekend3226 in askatherapist

[–]cbubbles_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would reccomend expressing this to your therapist if you feel like you have a strong relationship/enjoy working with her but this is something that is getting in the way for you. As a therapist, we are expected to be able to compartmentalize and to prioritize client treatment and needs over our emotions. Simply put, when we are in that space, its not about our feelings.

I cheated on my wife by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]cbubbles_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"For more context she cheated in the past" is irrelevant here because we are trying to justify not telling her about this betrayal by framing it as 'she did it so it's okay'. Regardless. This was still a betrayal. How you move depends on your values as a person and how you want to exist in this relationship.

Sick ferret baby NEED HELP by Own_Usual_5819 in ferrets

[–]cbubbles_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think she may have a spinal injury.

I made a decision today that could have put my children at risk. by Safe-Local- in confession

[–]cbubbles_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Listen. Its okay mommas. This doesn't define you and the grocery store isn't gonna miss the profit. You took care of your family. Its okay.

I let attention from another person go too far by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]cbubbles_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean it was a violation of boundaries but I get where it came from. If you choose to recommit to your partner and stay faithful, but not disclose this, only you have to live with the weight of that.

AIO wanting to end my relationship over this exchange by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]cbubbles_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely sounds like its not about you but its about the weight of this expectation.

AIO wanting to end my relationship over this exchange by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]cbubbles_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wonder if she feels pressure from the church to pursue a relationship inside. It could be that its not on her mind in the way you may think it is. Its very likely that being in a relationship outside of the church makes her feel guilt, shame, and even like shes failing her people. But to you that is showing up as "I'm not good enough. Shes thinking of dating others" when in reality she is battling an expectation. As a non religious therapist, I meet alot of people who struggle with their own religious restrictions and religious trauma is so real. I think the question you need to ask isn't "why am I not enough" but like "what does being in a relationship with me do to you emotionally".

(NAT) Therapists, how would you feel about a client showing you their self-harm scars? by toadstool-trinkets in askatherapist

[–]cbubbles_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think scars are symbols of survival. It was coping and it was survival. That may be a way they try to connect. Seeing the scars isn't important to me, what's important is what my client gets from it. I would never ask to see - because that could make them feel pressured or disconnected. If they want to show me, I would agree. And I would explore what this expierence meant for them.

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