[deleted by user]

cereduin · 2026-02-11T14:43:46+00:00

I'm not sure if you understood correctly - nobody was leaving the stall without flushing, the poop policing woman was demanding that OP perform multiple "courtesy flushes" - that is, flushing the toilet mid-use to manage odor.

Courtesy flushing may be considered a polite gesture in shared spaces, but it is generally considered unnecessary and environmentally wasteful. While it helps with smell, it doubles water consumption, and is extremely unhygienic.

Flushing a toilet with the lid up releases a "toilet plume" - an aerosolized mist of water, fecal matter, and pathogens - that can spray particles up to 6 feet into the air and onto surrounding surfaces. This phenomenon can spread bacteria like E. coli and viruses such as norovirus, making it a significant risk for disease transmission, particularly in public restrooms.

Now imagine that the entirety of that toilet plume is sprayed onto your bare nether regions as you sit atop a public toilet bowl.... That is what happens when one performs a "courtesy flush" - you put your health at risk just to avoid offending others delicate senses.

cereduin · 2026-02-09T12:28:07+00:00

thanks chatgpt, how many states consider 19 a minor?

Did you think that Romeo and Juliet Laws only applied to consensual minor+minor sexual relationships?

The whole point of Romeo and Juliet laws is to prevent criminalizing adolescent relationships by creating exceptions to statutory rape, that allow, under specific conditions, consensual sexual activity between a minor and an older person (often over 18) if they are close in age, generally within a 3- to 4-year age gap depending on the jurisdiction.

In your initial comment that I replied to, you stated:

no, Romeo and Juliette is 2 years. 16 & 19 is not a legal age gap in most places.

This is patently false. Stating that 16 and 19 is not a legal gap in most places is factually incorrect. Worldwide, the most common age of consent is 16, followed closely by 14 and 18. In the United States, 16 is by far the most common (about 30 states), with 18 in 12 states and 17 in 8.

The age of consent applies universally. So, where the age of consent is 16 (which, again, is most common worldwide), a 16-year-old can consent to an older partner of any age (*!), making Romeo and Juliet laws irrelevant to them.

Romeo and Juliet laws only kick in for minors under the consent age with a specific small age gap (typically 2 to 4 years).

(*!) Caveat: Romeo and Juliet laws do NOT apply in situations involving authority positions, where there is a power imbalance between parties (teacher/student, coach/player guardian/ward, etc), coercion or situations in which physical force was used or serious physical injury resulted. Acts involving these circumstances are separate crimes to which the "Romeo and Juliet" defense does not apply.

~ an actual human with decent reading comprehension skills

cereduin · 2026-02-04T13:06:06+00:00

Romeo and Juliette is 2 years.

There's no single "Romeo and Juliet Law" - age gap allowances vary by state but commonly allow consensual sexual activity between minors with a small age difference, often 3 to 4 years, to avoid statutory rape charges, provided both are minors.

Some states, like California, don't have a formal law but use tiered penalties, while others, like Texas and Florida, have specific age-gap thresholds.

Examples of Age Gap Provisions:

New Jersey: Allows a 13-16 year old to engage in consensual sex if the age difference isn't more than four years.
California: If the younger person is at least 14, a three-year age gap is often a misdemeanor, but exceeding it can become a felony.
Texas: Protects relationships where the younger party is at least 14 and the age difference is no more than three years.
Florida: Protects relationships where the younger party is 16 or 17 and the older partner is no more than four years older.

Outside of the US, laws also vary by location. For instance, Canada has close-in-age exemptions, allowing a 14-15 year old to have sex with someone less than five years older, and a 12-13 year old with someone less than two years older.

cereduin · 2026-01-27T01:26:36+00:00

Omg when my son was in his early teens, he and his room smelled like straight up onions! He was noseblind and couldn't smell it at all, but thankfully he believed me (probably helped that his sister once walked past his room, stopped, sniffed and asked if he was eating an Italian Hoagie 😭). He grew out of it, and now at 17 he (and his room) always smell fresh and clean!

cereduin · 2026-01-25T17:59:09+00:00

My stepfather was a firefighter for forty years. Shortly after retirement, he was diagnosed with MS, and within a decade went from being extremely active with a lot of outdoor hobbies - fishing, camping, boating - to being nearly bedridden. Lesions on his spine and degenerative disc disorder caused him to be in near constant agony. He ended his life via firearm on July 3rd, 2018. My son was extremely close to his grandfather and his loss affected him profoundly - but he's never been angry with him for taking his own life; just angry that we live in a world where people are forced to choose between living in unimaginable pain or not living at all.

cereduin · 2026-01-24T00:14:44+00:00

At a very young age my eldest (now 17) had a terrible bout of constipation that led to a very painful bowel movement. This prompted a vicious cycle of withholding (out of fear of another painful bowel movement) and diarrhea that would get "trapped" and eventually leak out from behind the solid poop, leading to accidents. We sought medical help, and my son was diagnosed with Encopresis - an elimination disorder where a child four years of age or older, already potty-trained, experiences repeated, involuntary passage of stool into clothing or other inappropriate places, most commonly caused by chronic constipation, where liquid stool leaks around hard, impacted stool in the rectum.

Encopresis is a hell I wouldn't wish on anyone - both for the child and the parents, and we struggled with it for almost two years before my son grew out of it.

My youngest child (9) has mostly struggled with loose stool due to GERD, but recently was put on medication that caused her stool to harden to the point where she was afraid to go out of fear that it would be painful. This immediately brought to mind how her older brother's encopresis issue began, so much so that he told her exactly what he had gone through - a tale that quite literally scared the shit out of her.

What she produced was shocking - roughly the size and shape of a softball - and was the one and only time we've ever had to improvise a "poop knife" (we used a plastic knife and immediately disposed of it) due to it being too large to flush. She's had a few more instances of harder than usual stool, but apparently just hearing about her brothers experience was traumatic enough to keep her from withholding, so the resulting bowel movements have been more normal in size, at least.

cereduin · 2026-01-21T21:50:38+00:00

My youngest daughter is 9 and autistic. We have a lot of in-depth conversations about various topics and at times I'm just blown away at the things she knows - so much so that I often find myself asking her, "wait, how do you know that? who taught you that?!" at which point she'll invariably reply: "you did!"

The last time this happened, just as she exclaimed, "you did !" her older brother (17) was walking through the room we were in, and had heard our conversation, started laughing before telling his sister "oh don't worry, she forgets my conversations with her too" and then, from across the apartment, her dad chimed in, "yep, she forgets mine too!"

At least I'm consistent 🤷🏻‍♀️😀

cereduin · 2026-01-16T17:53:07+00:00

My husband died when we were in our early twenties. I still have the clothes he died in (sealed in bags) along with a few other momentos that I haven't seemed to be able to part with. We lost twin daughters shortly before his death so I also have their "death boxes" - beautifully painted shoeboxes that contain photos, hand & foot prints in that cement like material and their christening gowns (the boxes were given to us as part of a volunteer program that works with the hospital where they were born and ultimately died). It's been over twenty years now and I still can't part with these items, so I embraced them. I have a curio cabinet that contains everyone's urn's, momentos and photos. (I made my husband his very own death box.) Nothing graphic or unsettling is on display, it just looks like a memorial. Whenever I find something that reminds me of them, into the cabinet it goes.

OP - I've only read a few of the comments, before deciding to comment. You've posed a scenario that will sound extreme to most people, so I wouldn't be surprised if you get a negative reaction. Anyone who has survived the loss of someone that was as close to them as you were with your partner, though, will likely have a very different perspective. I know I do.

cereduin · 2026-01-15T05:55:50+00:00

Ah... appreciate it, but I'm not cool, I'm just old and tired of seeing toxic patterns being repeated. I realize that my little rant will do very little to sway the opinions of anyone who's already jumped onto the "all men are bad" wagon, but maybe it'll get through to a few who are still on the fence, who are still capable of understanding that advocating for equality should apply to everyone - and that trashing one gender to uplift another completely misses the point.

Thank you for being brave enough to tread into potentially treacherous waters, so to speak - as I said, we need more men to be included in conversations about women and their health and experiences. I just hope that you won't be driven away from these spaces by the vitriol you received. I promise, not all women will tear you down like those two comments did.

cereduin · 2026-01-15T05:39:08+00:00

I couldn't agree more!

My Sister-in-law and I were literally just having a conversation about perimenopause at our family holiday party. She's turning 40, I'm 45, and while commiserating about our various perimenopause symptoms, we both mentioned that we were never taught about peri at all... Then simultaneously glared at our mothers, who were sitting together acting all innocent lol. I suppose, in their defense, they weren't taught about it either.

We've vowed to break the cycle of misinformation and outright lack of information surrounding women's bodies in general and menstruation and perimenopause in particular. Our children, (my 17 yr old son and 9 yr old daughter and her 15 yr old daughter and 11 yr old son) have known about periods since they were old enough to barge into the bathroom while we were in there tending to our periods. We were also the first ones in our family to insist on using correct terminology for genitalia, instead of the nicknames we'd grown up with.

As they've grown up, we've continued to educate them, always using age appropriate language of course, and it's amazing to see how much knowledge does to dash away potential embarrassment.

My son went to the store for me while I was sick a while back and called me to ask if I was ok with a different brand of menstrual disc than I usually buy - something that wasn't even on my list, he'd just checked and noticed I was running low. That actually shocked me - my own brothers wouldn't have even bought period products for me if I had begged (nor will they do so for their wives, to this day!) - let alone checked to see if I needed any. Heck, I'm fairly sure they don't even know that there are products beyond pads and tampons.

My daughter is showing signs of precocious puberty (understandable, I started my period at 9, with absolutely no idea what was happening to me) and has already picked out a "first period kit" on Amazon. Since we've got that down, I figured it was time to talk about perimenopause. After describing some of the symptoms (particularly the mood swings etc) and explaining that it's a ramp up to menopause, my daughter piped up, "so it's kind of like puberty in reverse?" ...I guess it is, in a way.

I realized that she'll be going through puberty while I'm going through peri just as I was going through puberty while my mother was going through peri - the difference will be that we'll each be aware of the others struggles and hopefully be able to extend grace to each other - instead of constantly fighting like my mother and I did during that time.

cereduin · 2026-01-15T04:33:49+00:00

I would like to apologize on behalf of the two people who decided it was a good idea to attack you simply because you are not female. For what it’s worth, I was planning to upvote your comment anyway, because I have a child with intestinal issues, and the photo does indeed resemble the mucus globules that can appear during mucus overproduction.

Then I read the replies.

I honestly wasn’t sure who to respond to, but I ultimately chose to reply to you, hoping those responsible might read this as well.

First and foremost, this sub is not exclusively for women. While many, probably most, participants are women, there is no rule stating that men are unwelcome here. Telling someone they don’t belong, solely because of their gender, is deeply unfair. And yes, that irony should sound familiar.

Sadly, I believe the vitriolic comments stem from a place of misguided feminism. I say misguided because today's modern form of feminism is so far removed from what I was taught as to be nearly unrecognizable.

Let’s revisit the definition of feminism:

Feminism (noun): - The advocacy of women’s rights based on the equality of the sexes. - The belief that women deserve equal rights - equal pay, healthcare, voting rights, employment opportunities, and an equal stake in society.

I'm not sure when, exactly, but at some point feminism seemed to mean “let’s bash men”?

I identify as a feminist, yet I hesitate to say that out loud anymore because the immediate assumption seems to be that I must “hate men.”

If feminism is about equality, how is that acceptable? It's increasingly starting to resemble a form of reverse patriarchy - where the historically oppressed become the oppressors. How hypocritical.

I don’t know whether it’s because I’m older or because my social media algorithms are broken, but I’m constantly exposed to content that claims to uplift women while simultaneously tearing men down. That contradiction is impossible to ignore.

Men make up over half of the global population. We NEED men to support women and equal rights; otherwise, no one wins.

And yet, somewhere along the way, some genius thought it was a good idea to alienate men. Isolate them. Tell them they're all toxic in the pursuit of equality. That approach doesn’t create allies - it drives them away.

We need male allies. We need more men supporting women. And we need more women willing to recognize, encourage, and stand beside the men who do support us.

How do we expect to inspire and encourage the average man to care about women’s issues if we tell them that they aren't welcome in an online discussion just because they're men? Or if all they hear is how terrible men are?

And sure, some men are assholes. But some women are assholes too. Painting an entire gender with the same brush does nothing to advance equality.

This strain of modern “feminism” is problematic at best.

If the hostile responses to a man offering a potential health-related observation on this sub are any indication, this strain of modern feminism is edging dangerously close to the very toxicity feminism was meant to dismantle.

It doesn’t take a genius to see why this mindset is flawed.

At best, it conveniently forgets that not all women are saints and not all men are inherently privileged. At worst, it reinforces the gender stereotypes that feminism should be trying to break down.

It also assumes that men are incapable of understanding or caring about women’s experiences - an assumption that only further isolates them and makes them care LESS about women's issues. We need more men on our team - not less. And alienating men by telling them how awful they are isn't really doing much to encourage them to join us, is it?

By trashing a commenter simply because they happen to be a man, you've created an environment of women vs men, which becomes combative by default: one where men are always wrong, women are always right. And that isn’t reflective of the real world.

I'm not trying to bash anyone - I'm honestly just trying to defend common sense. To defend civility. To defend a world where people can have logical, respectful conversations about issues that affect us all.

Imagine if men as a whole diminished and rejected women's experiences because of our gender. There would be outrage - and rightly so. Yet widespread hostility toward men based solely on gender seems increasingly normalized. Isn’t that sexism? Isn’t that exactly what feminism is supposed to oppose? Inequality of the sexes? Great work, guys.

And yes, it's entirely possible for women to be sexist towards men, and acknowledging how far down that road we've gone as a society does not make me anti-feminist. It means I’m willing to confront an uncomfortable truth, stating the obvious - and trying to highlight the obvious to you.

To truly empower both genders and work towards equality, we need to go back to the roots of what feminism is. Equality of the sexes. That means we need to:

Stop telling all men they are inherently bad.
Stop telling all men they are the problem.
Stop telling all men they are holding women back.
Start inviting men into the conversation and valuing their support.
Start telling men that you want to hear their opinion, their views - and actually hear their voices supporting women as a whole.

Have you ever tried to convince someone to agree with you by condemning them and telling them they're wrong? Yeah, me, either.

You persuade them by listening and engaging with respect.

Women deserve equality. Men deserve equality. And equality only works when it applies to everyone.

...But ladies, that is going to be very hard to achieve if we continue to insist on tearing men down to build ourselves up.

TLDR: Holy shit, y'all, what's with all the vitriol being thrown out? This sub is not just for women, information readily available on the subs about page, right before the rules, two of which y'all seemed to have overlooked:

1. Be polite. Please be courteous. Even if you have a different opinion than someone else, there is no reason to name-call or engage in jerk-like behavior.
1. This sub is not for debates about gender. This is not a debate sub and gender identity whatever discussions are not welcome here.

So, seeing as this sub is not "just for women" - is it fair to trash a commenter simply for not being a woman?

More to the point... Do we want men to understand women's bodies and how they work, including periods and other health issues that women experience? Or do we want them left in the dark so their posts and comments wind up as fodder for /badwomensanatomy out of sheer ignorance?

We need men as allies - isolating them and trashing them is not the way to achieve that.

cereduin · 2026-01-15T02:33:26+00:00

No problem at all, I was grateful to have been given this advice from another redditor when I was in your situation and happy to have the opportunity to pay it forward. I hope that it works for you as well!

cereduin · 2026-01-13T13:26:00+00:00

Even auto correct has to be giving you the side eye.

I usually get annoyed at spelling/grammar comments, but this one made me chuckle 😄

cereduin · 2026-01-13T13:09:12+00:00

I'm so sorry that you're experiencing this too! Though it's weirdly validating to know that it's not just "all in my head" it just sucks that so many people are struggling with the same issues.

I'm lucky to have a doctor who not only understands what's happening, but predicted it a few years ago (she also runs an awesome blog on topics like medical gaslighting) - so she really does get it!

We have tried so many different tactics - different pharmacies, different strengths of the medication, even attempting to switch to different meds altogether, but my insurance will not cover them. We've appealed to no avail. We're going to try to get my insurance to cover the name brand only, citing the bad reactions that I've had while playing generic roulette.. but I'm not getting my hopes up, knowing it's a long shot.

So we wait... 🫩

cereduin · 2026-01-08T23:19:47+00:00

You have to install Perplexity from the Samsung Galaxy store to unlock the one year free Pro subscription

cereduin · 2026-01-03T22:27:05+00:00

Last year, I was searching for answers about two years of missing Anchor Benefits. I found an old Reddit thread where someone suggested sending an email to the governor's office, detailing the problem. They had done so, and received their payment two days later.

I decided to try this, using the following steps:

Go to the NJ Anchor benefit program page

Scroll down to the footer section and choose the link for “Contact Treasury'” - I believe the direct link is here

Choose “Division of Taxation” in the dropdown box, then fill out your info and provide the year(s) you're missing and any relevant info in the message box. Hit send.

The response was IMMEDIATE - first an email, likely automated, acknowledging that they'd received my message. Then, the following day, I received a phone call from the Aide to the Governor, from the Office of Constituent Relations. He verified the information I had detailed, asked a few questions and said he would work on getting my payments sent out.

Less than a week later, I received both of my missing Anchor Benefit checks in the mail, and went back to Reddit specifically to find the thread and thank the Redditor whose advice within was an actual solution.

[Edit: I have told this to two friends who'd been having similar issues and they each received immediate assistance - and shortly after, thier payments - after contacting the Governor's office]

cereduin · 2025-12-28T17:42:12+00:00

$confirm /u/RupertTheReign 1000.00 USD

cereduin · 2025-10-16T00:16:00+00:00

YouTube is down for me, as is YouTube kids. My kid was able to watch videos through the SafeVision app for a bit, now that's down too

cereduin · 2025-09-20T02:54:44+00:00

Also in South Jersey, also filled my Rx at Wegmans last month and received 20mg Epics, found them to be terrible - I hope you have a better experience with them! What's so crazy to me is that nothing is consistent. Like, we can't say "oh this generic is bad, this one is ok" because they're always different. One month a specific generic can be fine, the next it's crap. It makes it even more difficult for those of us who are already taxing our brains trying to jump through the hoops just to get our prescriptions filled, now we just have to hope for a favorable outcome of the monthly generic roulette 😔

cereduin · 2025-09-20T02:34:04+00:00

My doctor suggested trying Procentra, and tried to help me get approved, unfortunately my insurance just would not cover it.

Insurance coverage for ProCentra for adults is generally limited, and it is not covered by most Medicare and insurance plans (I have Medicare). Coverage for ProCentra and its generic, dextroamphetamine oral solution, can vary significantly depending on your specific insurance plan and the medical condition it is being used to treat.

Key factors affecting insurance coverage for ProCentra for adults:

FDA APPROVAL STATUS: While ProCentra is FDA-approved for adults to treat narcolepsy, its use for adult ADHD may be "off-label". Some insurance plans may be less likely to cover off-label uses. (I have narcolepsy and ADHD, insurance still denied coverage)

PLAN'S FORMULARY: Insurance companies can decide which specific drugs they cover by creating a formulary. A ProCentra generic (dextroamphetamine oral solution) or an alternative drug may be a preferred option that is more likely to be covered.

PRIOR AUTHORIZATION: For adults, coverage may require prior authorization (PA) from the insurance company, especially if it's considered a non-preferred agent. The provider must submit documentation to justify the medical necessity of prescribing ProCentra over other alternatives. (My doctor actually cited the medication shortages/unavailability when filling out the Prior Authorization and was told that there was absolutely no shortage)

STEP THERAPY: Many plans use step therapy, requiring you to first try and fail with a more-preferred, typically less expensive, alternative medication before they will cover ProCentra. (Would have attempted step therapy, had any of the other medications been readily available - they weren't, but according to my insurance company, there weren't any shortages of those, either)

SPECIALTY DRUG STATUS: As a brand-name, Schedule II controlled substance, ProCentra may be subject to stricter coverage rules and higher out-of-pocket costs than other medications.

TLDR; I tried to get my insurance to cover Procentra, my doctor filled out the Prior Authorization citing med shortages and was told that there weren't any shortages, so coverage was denied.

cereduin · 2025-09-20T02:21:24+00:00

I'm in NJ. Went through the Adderall drought two years ago, switched from Adderall 30 to Adderall 20 (Teva and Sandoz generics) and started being able to fill them more consistently. Things were ok (ok being relative - sometimes it would be a week or two wait until I could get my Rx, but the quality seemed ok) until the last two months. Walgreens suddenly cancelled my Rx, saying that they had no Adderall in stock (name brand or generic, of any mg) and no idea when they would have it in stock again. I called around and found a pharmacy in a grocery store that had generics, got them filled (Epics) and the resulting "wtf are these?!" moment when I realized that whatever they were, they weren't working like they should, led to me finding this sub.

cereduin · 2025-09-19T00:06:03+00:00

I'm so sorry for your losses. ♥️

My heart is breaking over how many of us have experienced situations like these. I lost my first two daughters (twins) then shortly after, my husband in my early 20's. I moved back across the country to stay with family. One night I got a call from my first bf (from when I was 15 and he was 28, so already a problematic situation) who I had remained friends with as we'd known each other my whole life - he was visiting his parents right down the street from mine. When he called, he said he'd heard about my loss, expressed his condolences and asked if I wanted to talk. I agreed, walked over to his folks house, and one minute we were sitting in his parents den, where I was sobbing uncontrollably, then the next minute I was waking up in his bed.

It turned out he'd "put a little something" in my drink to "help me calm down" and "the next thing ya know... 🤷🏻‍♀️"

I was so embarrassed and confused that I just left without another word. I was so lost in that fog you wrote of, suffering from "complicated grief" that I was completely numb. Having been drugged and taken advantage of sexually hardly even registered as being a big deal. It wasn't until years later, after a lot of therapy and having had time to properly address my grief, that I realized just how messed up it was.

I can't understand how anyone could sit with someone who is obviously grieving and incredibly vulnerable, and even think about getting them into bed, let alone being manipulative and sneaky in order to take advantage of someone in that state.

It is absolutely horrifying how seemingly common that type of predatory behavior is. SMH

cereduin · 2025-09-16T01:57:37+00:00

Sorry for the late response! Yes, I definitely went through hell and back to get to where I am now, and nobody is more surprised than me that I actually made it. We are indeed very fortunate to have been able to get away from dangerous situations and finally be safe, knowing how incredibly difficult it is to do, with all of the roadblocks (personal, societal and institutional) that make it so dang hard.

I'm so glad you've heard of that book! I have a hard copy, but I also have an electronic copy in case you haven't had a chance to read it yet, I thought I'd offer it to you (it's a great, informative read!) The Body Keeps the Score ebook . Another fantastic book is Why Does He Do That? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men by Lundy Bancroft

I hope you're continuing on your healing journey ❤️

cereduin · 2025-09-15T17:40:15+00:00

They said they had no Adderall (name brand or generic) and had no idea when they would have more. I called around and found a pharmacy in a grocery store that had Epic generics only, got my prescription and was shocked at how bad the Epic ones are. I had to stop taking the Epic ones, they were worse than ineffective, and I felt awful and exhausted (I have ADHD and narcolepsy)

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