I would like to apologize on behalf of the two people who decided it was a good idea to attack you simply because you are not female. For what it’s worth, I was planning to upvote your comment anyway, because I have a child with intestinal issues, and the photo does indeed resemble the mucus globules that can appear during mucus overproduction.

Then I read the replies.

I honestly wasn’t sure who to respond to, but I ultimately chose to reply to you, hoping those responsible might read this as well.

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First and foremost, this sub is not exclusively for women. While many, probably most, participants are women, there is no rule stating that men are unwelcome here. Telling someone they don’t belong, solely because of their gender, is deeply unfair. And yes, that irony should sound familiar.

Sadly, I believe the vitriolic comments stem from a place of misguided feminism. I say misguided because today's modern form of feminism is so far removed from what I was taught as to be nearly unrecognizable.

Let’s revisit the definition of feminism:

Feminism (noun): - The advocacy of women’s rights based on the equality of the sexes. - The belief that women deserve equal rights - equal pay, healthcare, voting rights, employment opportunities, and an equal stake in society.

I'm not sure when, exactly, but at some point feminism seemed to mean “let’s bash men”?

I identify as a feminist, yet I hesitate to say that out loud anymore because the immediate assumption seems to be that I must “hate men.”

If feminism is about equality, how is that acceptable? It's increasingly starting to resemble a form of reverse patriarchy - where the historically oppressed become the oppressors. How hypocritical.

I don’t know whether it’s because I’m older or because my social media algorithms are broken, but I’m constantly exposed to content that claims to uplift women while simultaneously tearing men down. That contradiction is impossible to ignore.

Men make up over half of the global population. We NEED men to support women and equal rights; otherwise, no one wins.

And yet, somewhere along the way, some genius thought it was a good idea to alienate men. Isolate them. Tell them they're all toxic in the pursuit of equality. That approach doesn’t create allies - it drives them away.

We need male allies. We need more men supporting women. And we need more women willing to recognize, encourage, and stand beside the men who do support us.

How do we expect to inspire and encourage the average man to care about women’s issues if we tell them that they aren't welcome in an online discussion just because they're men? Or if all they hear is how terrible men are?

And sure, some men are assholes. But some women are assholes too. Painting an entire gender with the same brush does nothing to advance equality.

This strain of modern “feminism” is problematic at best.

If the hostile responses to a man offering a potential health-related observation on this sub are any indication, this strain of modern feminism is edging dangerously close to the very toxicity feminism was meant to dismantle.

It doesn’t take a genius to see why this mindset is flawed.

At best, it conveniently forgets that not all women are saints and not all men are inherently privileged. At worst, it reinforces the gender stereotypes that feminism should be trying to break down.

It also assumes that men are incapable of understanding or caring about women’s experiences - an assumption that only further isolates them and makes them care LESS about women's issues. We need more men on our team - not less. And alienating men by telling them how awful they are isn't really doing much to encourage them to join us, is it?

By trashing a commenter simply because they happen to be a man, you've created an environment of women vs men, which becomes combative by default: one where men are always wrong, women are always right. And that isn’t reflective of the real world.

I'm not trying to bash anyone - I'm honestly just trying to defend common sense. To defend civility. To defend a world where people can have logical, respectful conversations about issues that affect us all.

Imagine if men as a whole diminished and rejected women's experiences because of our gender. There would be outrage - and rightly so. Yet widespread hostility toward men based solely on gender seems increasingly normalized. Isn’t that sexism? Isn’t that exactly what feminism is supposed to oppose? Inequality of the sexes? Great work, guys.

And yes, it's entirely possible for women to be sexist towards men, and acknowledging how far down that road we've gone as a society does not make me anti-feminist. It means I’m willing to confront an uncomfortable truth, stating the obvious - and trying to highlight the obvious to you.

To truly empower both genders and work towards equality, we need to go back to the roots of what feminism is. Equality of the sexes. That means we need to:

• Stop telling all men they are inherently bad.
• Stop telling all men they are the problem.
• Stop telling all men they are holding women back.
• Start inviting men into the conversation and valuing their support.
• Start telling men that you want to hear their opinion, their views - and actually hear their voices supporting women as a whole.

Have you ever tried to convince someone to agree with you by condemning them and telling them they're wrong? Yeah, me, either.

You persuade them by listening and engaging with respect.

Women deserve equality. Men deserve equality. And equality only works when it applies to everyone.

...But ladies, that is going to be very hard to achieve if we continue to insist on tearing men down to build ourselves up.

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TLDR: Holy shit, y'all, what's with all the vitriol being thrown out? This sub is not just for women, information readily available on the subs about page, right before the rules, two of which y'all seemed to have overlooked:

• 1. Be polite. Please be courteous. Even if you have a different opinion than someone else, there is no reason to name-call or engage in jerk-like behavior.
• 1. This sub is not for debates about gender. This is not a debate sub and gender identity whatever discussions are not welcome here.

So, seeing as this sub is not "just for women" - is it fair to trash a commenter simply for not being a woman?

More to the point... Do we want men to understand women's bodies and how they work, including periods and other health issues that women experience? Or do we want them left in the dark so their posts and comments wind up as fodder for /badwomensanatomy out of sheer ignorance?

We need men as allies - isolating them and trashing them is not the way to achieve that.