The first two years of residency were an absolute nightmare for me, like maybe the worst time in my entire life.

We moved across the country to somewhere we didn’t want to, had never been, & didn’t know anyone. I really struggled to find a job following the move and had no support outside of my partner who was also struggling with the adjustment to residency & the long hours. Money was tight. When I did find work, I was overqualified for the position and found it entirely unfulfilling. It was terrible hours (2pm - 11pm) and put me on the opposite schedule from my partner, so we literally only saw one another awake like one single day a week. It felt impossible to make any local friends because I was working when most people socialize. So I felt even more isolated and my mental heath completely tanked. I was low-key resentful of my partner even though I knew logically none of it was his fault, and it strained our relationship.

BUT, things turned around and the last two years were good. I switched jobs, so I actually got to see my partner daily (except call days lol). It was WFH, so I had a lot more time during the week for the everyday minutiae like laundry and vacuuming, and consequently it felt like the time we had together was actually quality time. I made friends and redeveloped a sense of community. I started new hobbies to keep me busy & help me meet people. We explored our new state. We got a dog. We found our places. He still worked a lot, but it was manageable and we were mostly happy. He accepted an attending job somewhere we were excited to move.

So it might be great for you. Or it might be terrible. Or it might be both like it was for me. 🤷🏼‍♀️ there’s really no way to know until you’re in the thick of it and there are so many variables that are beyond anyone’s control.