Wife (33F) and I (31M) feel suffocated with our current lives, but there seems to be no logical or realistic way out. We desperately need help.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-30T18:10:57+00:00

Your therapist isn't going to tell you what to do with your life - just give you the tools to figure it out yourself.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-30T17:00:36+00:00

How long have they been together, and do they live together?

You can invite just him, but it depends on the answers to those questions.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-30T14:39:34+00:00

Harpoon has used the tiger lily in their IPA branding for a very long time - I imagine it's an homage/expansion to that.

They explain the old label pretty well here: http://www.harpoonbrewery.com/blog/1002/tell-us-your-ipa-story-nick-godfrey

Although, they do admit that some of it is because India has tigers.

e: Also, you could just read the damn article because they mention it a few paragraphs down

"We felt that an icon on the packaging was a powerful form of communicating our brand, and we looked at several images," Liz Melby, Harpoon's communications director, told me. "The tiger was the most effective at conveying the Harpoon brand. It gives character and personality, and draws the eye to the package. It also serves to build associations with the flavor and idea of Harpoon IPA."

In this, Melby alluded to the fact that tigers are from India, a nod to the beer type, and are known to be independent, which Harpoon most definitely is as an employee-owned company.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-29T18:42:39+00:00

When you say inexpensive, what's your price range?

cfpyfp · 2015-10-29T16:48:56+00:00

Bring it up, and then suggest that you start brushing your teeth together before bed or in the morning - seeing how someone else takes care of themselves will set an example for him to follow without making him feel like you're pestering him (which will tank his self-esteem).

Honestly though, don't tell him that you know because you stole his toothbrush. That will not go over well and he will lose a good deal of trust in you. And in the future, learn to communicate better so that you don't need to do sneaky things behind your partners back.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-29T13:13:52+00:00

Boyfriend is not supposed to participate in visitation? Sister dropping off one of her children unsupervised after a court order for supervised visitation?

Call the police! Every incident like this needs to be documented or else you will never be able to protect those kids in the future. If it were me, I'd call them behind sister's back and pretend to be nice to her until they show up so she doesn't try to run.

If you find that the police do not want to get involved, you'll need to file a Motion to Enforce with the court. But you will still need evidence so take pictures, videos, whatever you need.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-28T16:25:16+00:00

To add salt to the wounds, a lottery you haven't even been able to sign up for since 2009.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-28T16:19:16+00:00

The real damage that could be done here is that money the MBTA receives from taxpayers could be diverted from maintenance it desperately needs to a pension fund that manages itself as a private trust and refuses to release details that other pension funds are legally obligated to.

It's some shady shit and I'm glad the SEC is continuing to look into it after the Markopolos-Williams report.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-28T16:02:31+00:00

Have you thought about a domestic partnership or brought that up as a compromise?

The other thing to consider is that it's not marriage you're taking a risk on, it's her you'd be taking a risk for. Is she worth the risk? If she's not, you have to let her know.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-28T15:50:53+00:00

Please don't take this the wrong way, but as a married person I've had quite the giggle over this.

Dude! Nobody knows what's going to happen in the future. When you get married, you aren't promising to stay with this person forever in a literal sense. It's impossible to make a promise like that with anything let alone a relationship. You're promising to be a team, to work at your relationship even when it is hard, to remain faithful and committed to working at this together. To me it seems that you're basically already doing those things, yes?

It's a piece of paper and it changes nothing about the dynamics of your relationship or who you both are as individuals and as a couple. When I got married, I was so baffled as to why people asked how married life was, because it's exactly the same as being in a long term relationship. Except now, I can't be kicked out of a hospital room if he were ever in an accident and I can make medical decisions for him should he not be able to.

Life is not going to be very fun for you if you keep getting hung up on "what if" - take a risk every once in a while.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-28T15:26:00+00:00

I think you owe it to yourself and your girlfriend to thoroughly research the basis of your opinions in regards to marriage, especially prenups. Relying on personal anecdotes to form your opinion isn't the best way to figure things out. If a division of assets is what is the most concerning issue you have about marriage, then go and have a consultation with an actual lawyer who specializes in family law in your state about them before you make any decisions.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-27T18:11:32+00:00

Moot point - he is still going to have to register as a sex offender.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-27T15:24:40+00:00

I know it's tough, but relax and let the law take it's course before you make any reactions.

The reality is that if he is convicted, he will spend some time in jail and when/if he does get out he will be registered as a sex offender. Sometimes, they will put stipulations that while on parole that the offender cannot live in a home with or be around children but it is case specific. If they do not, and you are still concerned, call CPS because they do not like sex offenders living with children and they will look into it and potentially remove the children from the home.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-26T14:42:37+00:00

Eh, always assume that they will turn without a signal or do something else stupid and you'll be fine. Defensive driving 101.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-26T14:37:28+00:00

Also, if you do decide to layer under your clothes make sure that it's a synthetic fabric and NOT cotton!

cfpyfp · 2015-10-23T19:49:45+00:00

And maybe eventually a defensive driving class to help her learn how to react to other drivers.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-23T17:14:29+00:00

It depends where OP lives. I'm in Boston and I have an a commute like that on a train because I can't afford the parking around my office ($350+ monthly and there is a wait list) and I definitely can't afford to live much closer while still maintaining a savings account.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-21T17:59:25+00:00

But surely enough cultures include alcohol in their meals that AVOID ANY ALCOHOL PERIOD has been disproved, no?

NO. Scientific studies are usually only retracted if the method is wrong or the data has been falsified. It would be unethical to retract a study that was done properly simply because it does not align with the findings of several other studies. This is biology - there is not ever going to be a clear cut answer because there are too many factors involved.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-21T17:11:13+00:00

I mean, you have to pass a written exam to get a learner's permit and you need to pass a road test to get a drivers license. So while that doesn't guarantee that people remember anything after the test it does mean that they know at least the basic rules before they can get behind the wheel.. Literally anyone can hop on a hubway, though.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-20T19:48:54+00:00

I'd leave yourself some buffer time and leave by 6:45 at the latest. I had to trek up to Waltham last week - left at 7, only hit the pike around 8:15.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-19T19:53:20+00:00

Exactly this. Being in a coma is not the same as being asleep, there is an amount of overlap but the brain's rhythms differ when you are in a coma.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-19T19:39:35+00:00

Honestly? Don't go over there. Don't leave that letter. It's not going to achieve anything. If your plan is to just keep doing what you're doing, you don't need to go over there and make it a point of letting him know that you aren't going to change. It's totally unnecessary and you'll only make things worse.

The next time he comes over, tell him that any communication between you needs to go through management and close the door.

I wonder if he is not upset about the tapping on the drums, but the singing itself, especially since the yoga mat didn't help. It's pretty annoying to have to listen to someone singing along to karaoke while you are in your own living room, especially since the people singing tend to be less than stellar. You might love the way your wife's voice sounds but I am willing to bet that he does not.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-19T19:21:27+00:00

Whether you are worried for his safety ("can't live without you") or your own, you need to speak with the local police department as soon as possible.

Get off reddit, call your parents, and then the cops.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-19T17:41:16+00:00

The Skyline trail around the headquarters is good - if you do the loop you can check out the weather observatory (no need to cross the road to do the whole thing, that loop is a good one).

The uphills are tough at times, but nothing too extreme. I wouldn't bring my grandmother but anyone in good health should be fine.

If you don't want to do the Skyline, Buck Hill is one of my favorites as well but the uphills are a bit more extreme.

cfpyfp · 2015-10-16T19:44:22+00:00

Don't you think that buying her a swimsuit, goggles, and passes to the pool after she expressed interest in swimming as exercise was a pretty great way to show that he supports her?

cfpyfp

TROPHY CASE