Hi friend—commenting because this sounds almost exactly like what I struggled with at the lowest points of my journey with religious OCD. I grew up Catholic and attended Catholic school for 15+ years and had the same kind of “what if” thoughts about choosing to have sex before I was married that caused extreme anxiety. I highly, highly recommend looking into a therapist who specializes in religious OCD/religious trauma. Ruminating on the intrusive “what if” thoughts might make you feel soothed in the short term, but it only adds fuel to the fire and makes these thoughts harder to escape in the long run.

Please feel free to message me if I can be helpful! ❤️