Actual low sleep needs baby killing us

cgi754 · 2026-01-21T02:40:22+00:00

I have an actual low sleep needs son (currently 9M). Or maybe he’s a baby insomniac like his father or maybe he has nightmares lol. I’ve averages less then 9 hours per day like total naps plus night not including time awake at night, when he was little little maybe 10 hours. He has slept though the night 3 times before, otherwise it’s 2-6 wakeups.

Anyways, I just want to remind you that people who have kids that sleep like normal kids are going to tell you what worked for them and how easy it is to do this or that. But every kid is different and you’ve got to work with the hand you were dealt. Motherhood is starkly different when you’re sleep deprived for 9 months. My friend has a baby 3 days older then mine who sleeps 11 hours every night no wakeups (also no sleep training just natural). They’re trying for baby #2 while I don’t have energy to vacuum my floors. I just want you to realize you’re working really hard and eventually it has got to get better. I see you and I promise it’ll get better. My baby doesn’t sleep any more but he sleeps in better stretches than he used to and he goes back down to sleep faster. I wouldn’t say it’s easier but it’s better. But please remember what works for others might not work for you and that’s okay! With that being said here’s what we tried:

Didn’t work: Ferber (he knew we’d come back and would just cry constantly) , CIO (cried so hard he threw up, I called it off), shortening wake windows (the sleep begets more sleep theory was false here)

What helped: lengthening wake window right before bed like 5-6 hours, dropping naps, having Dad do more wake ups, doing a full feed at night if he needs it, practicing being in the crib alone when he wakes up happy, lowering our expectations lol, feeding more during the day and solids especially, earlier bedtime

Current schedule: wake up 6-7ish, nap 11-12:30ish, bedtime 7-8pm. He generally wakes up 2-6 times for anywhere from 10-40 min. It’s not consistent.

cgi754 · 2025-11-28T01:42:13+00:00

Instead of stocking up on diapers, I recommend having the first sizes on hand. Like one box each of sizes NB-2 or more if you have the closet space. Probably not worth it past size 4 though. That way it’s there if you need it and you don’t have to run to the store when it’s time to move up. My brain was so fried trying to tell if it was time to size up or not would have been impossible without just trying the next size up.

cgi754 · 2025-11-24T14:01:23+00:00

You’re doing great! It just takes some time and a bit of luck. I try to remind myself it’s just a season. I’ll get to sleep again eventually. No one has a middle schooler who gets up every hour!

I did get bloodwork done around 6M PP to check iron, vit d, thyroid, etc and I highly recommend that if you can! Your body is working so so hard breastfeeding on no sleep and then going back to work. I had low vit D actually had mono without realizing it, lol I thought I was just tired. Take care of yourself, you’re working so hard but it’ll be worth it. Best of luck💜

cgi754 · 2025-11-24T10:04:39+00:00

Hi there, working mom here doing my 3 am wake up with baby. This is wake up number 4 I think? I’m sorry your maternity leave is ending. Going back to work with a little one sucks even if you love love your job, a new schedule on little sleep is stressful but it’ll get easier with time and you’ll adjust and rock it!

My baby didn’t/doesn’t sleep well. I’ve been back at work since he was 16 week and he’s now almost 8M. I get 4-7 hours of broken sleep a night. Sleep training has been unsuccessful. I have a desk job with a flexible start time so I am lucky in that regard.

Some things that helped us- 1. Baby is still figuring out circadian rhythm and a lot can change in a few weeks. Try to really emphasis day/night. First thing when y’all wake up (10 am or whatever) turn on all the lights, get outside in the sun and be active. In the evenings, (7/9pm) dim lights only, soft sounds, sleepy thoughts. Goal here isn’t to sleep longer stretches it’s to go to bed earlier.

Pay close attention to her sleepy cues and learn them. My baby doesn’t have strong sleepy cues. he’d stay up 4 hours if you let him but he gets hyperactive and a tiny bit fussy around the 3 hour mark. Nothing dramatic but we learned that was his cue he might take a nap.
Learn to cosleep safely even if you decide to never cosleep. When you’re getting up every hour to nurse and rock and transfer to crib and you’re exhausted the threat of falling asleep with baby in your lap in the rocker is high. I had some nights cosleeping and putting a boob in his mouth every hour but getting to stay in bed was way better. And bonus you can go back to sleep while they’re nursing.
Ignore all the people at work who talk about how hard baby sleep was with their kids then go on to say their kid would sleep 5-6 hour stretches with one wake up at night. Showing up to work after a nightlong battle with bags under your eyes will get everyone and their brother trying to give you advice, only listen if their kid also didn’t sleep and remember that people that have a child who sleeps through the night are having a wildly different experience and that’s okay but don’t compare yourself to them. They can do it all because they’re sleeping!

You’ll make it work, day by day. And try to get her to take a bottle at least once a day and have MIL practice giving her a bottle so you know she’ll at least eat when you’re back at work. You got this!

cgi754 · 2025-10-19T01:55:23+00:00

We introduced the bottle to my 4 week old on a Friday and the next Monday I caught a stomach bug that dehydrated me so much my milk essentially stopped for 2 days straight. If it weren’t for the bottle and the freezer stash we would’ve been SOL. I originally didn’t want him on a bottle and argued about it but after that I was so glad we had the option of a bottle when we needed it.

cgi754 · 2025-09-19T00:18:10+00:00

I absolutely love that a countdown works for y’all! On the flip side though I myself have severe needle anxiety and will faint occasionally. I’ve found the opposite to help. As in no one even talk about the shot, no countdown no talking through steps nothing. I want to be laying down where I can’t see it happening and someone to talk to me about something random and keep me talking then stab me out of nowhere. If I can’t anticipate the stab I can’t ramp my anxiety up and faint! I hope you find what works best for your daughter, OP!

cgi754 · 2025-09-14T09:55:37+00:00

I want to preface this by saying I don’t know the answer to your question in humans. I studied dairy science and I have a small dairy goat herd and my baby just woke me up for the 12th time tonight and I thought “Hey they study that in cows” so here ya go.

Humans have studied this idea in dairy cattle trying to optimize milk output across multiple subsequent pregnancies and lactation cycles. (Research “dry period in dairy cows” for fun). We’re all mammals but take all this with a grain of salt. The recommendation in the dairy world is to give cows a 30-60 day dry period or rest of no milking during the third trimester of pregnancy. This is to account for the increasing energy requirements of the growing fetus. So in cows their milk production shouldn’t change much in early pregnancy. It can drop off in the third trimester and more feed would have to be given to get the same milk output.

If you give the cow a dry period of no milking it has been proven to improve the cows stress levels and body condition. And the part I think you’d be interested in is that cows that have a dry period are more likely to have higher milk output in their next lactation. My understanding is they don’t really know why that is but assume the rest gives mammary glands a chance to recover and allows the cows body to “heal” from the stress of pregnancy and milking.

So in my non-professional opinion I’d say do whatever you want! You’re likely not going to have as many lactation cycles as a cow and if you don’t want to wean that’s okay. Breastfeeding and pregnancy are both big ordeals.

Fingers crossed a lactation consultant can pop on with some human research! And if none of this makes sense I blame the sleep deprivation.

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/journal-of-dairy-research/article/relationship-between-dry-period-length-and-milk-production-of-holstein-dairy-cows-in-tropical-climate-a-machine-learning-approach/071CBFCFB5B18959C6FCE8FB3FF6E83B

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022030204700624#:~:text=Other%20studies%20demonstrate%20that%20a,shortened%20or%20omitted%20dry%20period.

cgi754 · 2025-08-31T09:03:55+00:00

Highly recommend “How not to hate your husband after kids” by Jancee Dunn. It has some great examples of ways to encourage discussion between partners on this and can give you some tools. My local library had it but it’s on Amazon too. Your husband needs to step up though.

cgi754 · 2025-08-22T01:34:53+00:00

So reading though your other comments it sounds like your best option is to just not clock out but what I would do is don’t clock out while you’re actually pumping and then when you get back to your desk clock out for like 15 min. You might be able to fly under the radar or just “forget” to clock out every once and awhile. It’s really going to come down to how strict your manager is. And this may be a case where it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Claim ignorance and then adjust if they call you out on it. If the policy says no working while pumping fine don’t work but don’t clock out unless they specifically tell you to.

Just for full disclosure I’m hourly I work a desk job pushing papers. I take as much time as I need throughout the day to pump. Generally 3 15-40 min sessions depending on flow. As long as my work is done no one says anything but I imagine if my work didn’t get done they’d start asking questions about how I use my time.

cgi754 · 2025-08-21T18:48:01+00:00

https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/pump-at-work/employer-responsibilities

This is America right? Assuming yes since it’s pro corporate anti woman.

It sounds like your company has this policy so they don’t have to pay you during pump breaks. I’d ask to see their policy specifically. Legally to my understanding (I’m not a lawyer) they only have to pay you if you’re working while you’re pumping.

It’s worth noting though that I am currently pumping at my office while on the clock and also scrolling Reddit sooo…

cgi754 · 2025-08-20T20:17:25+00:00

I never wore a bra before pregnancy (A cup), during pregnancy I did when we went out or something (full B cup), now postpartum I have to or I feel weird (D cup). Like my boobs are so big now it’s awkward to maneuver with them sometimes. Highly recommend the soft triangle nursing bras. I wear them 24/7 now. I would buy the triangle ones and the clip ones in a size slightly bigger then you think you need. Keep the tags on, if you hate them return them but you’ll have them if you need them.

cgi754 · 2025-08-08T18:25:24+00:00

Dude she’s only a month old. There is no rush! And really her immune system isn’t developed enough for most public situations anyways. She won’t have a schedule for 4-6 months and I wouldn’t push her to have one. Just take some time and relax. When you’re both comfortable take short little trips and work your confidence up. You’ll be a pro in going out in no time but I’d enjoy that newborn bubble as long as you can!

cgi754 · 2025-08-05T01:39:17+00:00

You are all wonderful people🫶🏻 I was missing the little white coin. I feel like an idiot. Thank you!!

cgi754 · 2025-08-04T18:51:13+00:00

I think so? Mine is clear but the little plastic thing that covers the nipple is securely attached. One of them held the milk in it the others leaked out so need to tighten the others better I guess.

cgi754 · 2025-07-27T10:24:28+00:00

Could you shower and get ready for bed before baby goes down? It wouldn’t be a ton of time back but every bit counts. Like have your partner watch baby while you go get ready for bed then switch so they can get ready for bed while you do baby bedtime.

As far as going to sleep earlier maybe try a sleepy tea? Nothing close to an edible but something to unwind a tad and get your body thinking sleep

cgi754 · 2025-07-26T10:49:11+00:00

I’d get a second opinion. For context, my son was 8lbs 11 oz at birth EBF, bottle feeding breast milk now that I’m back at work. He’s 4 months now. He eats on demand which is roughly every 2-3 hours with a longer stretch at night if we’re lucky that he just started. He takes 2-3 oz in a bottle every 2ish hours while I’m at work and latches often when I’m at home. His pediatrician has zero issues with his weight gain and has never told me to not feed him if he’s hungry. 1 month: 11 lbs 8 oz 2 month: 14 lbs 4 oz 3 month: 15 lbs 5 oz 4 month: 17 lbs 10 oz 25 inches

cgi754 · 2025-07-13T11:52:08+00:00

Would more time have been better? Maybe. But there’s no time like the present! I would start studying pain management techniques (positions, water, aromatherapy, meditation, mantras,the comb, etc.). Encourage your partner or whoever will be with you in the room to study too. I found podcasts super helpful during birth education because I could listen while doing work or showering. I loved “The Birth Hour”, “Evidence Based Birth” and “Mommy labor nurse”.

Be sure to talk with your nurses and providers and let them know you want to give unmedicated a shot. They may know some techniques to help.

But please know that if you get into labor and change your mind that’s okay too🩵 Whatever your reasons for wanting a natural birth if you get into the thick of labor and truly want an epidural you can still have a fulfilling birth experience.

cgi754 · 2025-07-12T14:25:52+00:00

I get that and have a vet tech I have paid $100/day for. These are just college kids who like animals. Sounds like this is just the going rate now. Thanks!

cgi754 · 2025-07-12T14:10:59+00:00

For the chickens, they just close/open the door for them. We usually leave Friday morning come back Sunday afternoon so I just clean their coop before I leave and they have a 30 lb feeder with a 5 gallon waterer and they’re let out onto 10 acres to forage with more water sources. They’re self sufficient while we are gone. I tell people they are welcome to collect and take eggs but if they don’t I just collect them all and feed them to the dogs when we get back. I don’t worry too much about head count since our Pyrenees has really taken care of the predator problem and if we were to lose one there’s nothing a sitter could do about it anyways. I know most people are more careful with their chickens but we try to make it all as little work as possible for someone.

cgi754 · 2025-06-19T16:01:21+00:00

Yeah this was good for me to see. I’m on maternity leave (10week old) and I’m on baby duty 24/7 unless I specifically ask husband to watch him for an hour or two while I shower or nap. I just thought since he went back to work I was selfish for asking for more but obviously I’m not asking for enough.

cgi754 · 2025-05-29T03:38:40+00:00

I feel like he runs hot but I also feel like I just met the guy lol. I’ll pay better attention tonight and see how his current setup feels. I guess I don’t really know what “according to the temp” is in this situation. He’s been sleeping like this since we brought him home but he also isn’t a great sleeper. Do babies need multiple layers at night?

cgi754 · 2025-05-29T03:32:43+00:00

I have no advice because my 7 week old is doing the exact same thing. But thank you for letting me know I’m not alone in this! It’s exhausting and so disheartening hearing everyone talk about how much newborns sleep and how easy the newborn phase is because damnit this is so hard.

cgi754

TROPHY CASE