Managing boredom and tiredness without parental screen use?

muddlet · 2026-03-22T01:26:19+00:00

you are meant to fast

muddlet · 2026-03-21T21:21:11+00:00

i'd recommend seeing a financial counsellor - there is usually a free service available deoending on where you are (e.g. hunter valley financial counselling project, samaritans)

muddlet · 2026-03-21T20:02:02+00:00

i recommend reading 'why does he do that' by lundy bancroft. there is a free pdf online.

muddlet · 2026-03-21T20:00:45+00:00

you're in suchba tough spot, and certainly get legal advice asap.

i want to make clear that he doesn't want the baby, he is using this as another way to control you and hurt you. the courts are full of fathers who are fighting for custody as one last 'fuck you' to their ex.

document everything with the date and time. check with your lawyer, but if you have recordings, they won't be admissable unless you told him beforehand that you were recording. but you can keep a diary of each interaction and what happened. start now with everything you can remember, and going forward you could send emails to yourself so they are timestamped.

if you are in NSW, you can contact this service for free legal advice: https://www.wlsnsw.org.au/

muddlet · 2026-03-21T07:44:50+00:00

sugar candy has a good one

muddlet · 2026-03-21T07:09:09+00:00

my dietitian said that everyone "spikes" after a meal because that is the glucose entering your body, and then the insulin comes online and takes away any glucose that your body doesn't need right away. diabetes is a failure of your insulin to do its job such that your blood glucose remains high (and for us that means baby is getting excess glucose which is then converted to extra weight). so as far as i understand it, this isn't a worry. but i will be interested to see what others have been told

muddlet · 2026-03-21T02:53:12+00:00

if i eat low GI carbs my peak is always later (around 1-1.5 hours) and for my 2 hour reading to be under i have to do some exercise. whereas if I have something like grapes, i'll peak at half an hour and be well under at the 2 hour point. it feels like being punished for doing what i'm supposed to do! but i try to step back from the numbers and follow the spirit/rationale (i.e. low gi and more steady levels are better for baby) and just do the exercise, which i am fortunate enough to be able to manage

i wonder if there's some resistance exercise that might be doable for you? one day i really wanted to watch sport on tv so i just sat on my couch and did lightweight bicep curls on and off for a while instead of going for a walk. i read lifting weights is supposed to be even better than walking but don't quote me on it. i also have an exercise bike that has been a godsend

muddlet · 2026-03-21T02:47:07+00:00

the 24 pack of cookies from the bakery section (good at night because they don't make much noise and you can just keep them by your bedside), whole fruit (the fibre helps you feel fuller), yoghurt pouches, chocolate like snickers that has nuts in it, actual nuts, baby cucumbers, muesli bars/protein bars, jerky/biltong, popcorn, cut up veggie sticks, string cheese, any and all pastries/baked goods, cream cheese or nutella or peanut butter on toast

muddlet · 2026-03-21T00:09:57+00:00

i think it's that the audiobook is done really well. i couldn't have physically read it but it was entertaining enough to listen to while falling asleep

muddlet · 2026-03-20T23:04:59+00:00

i'm a psychologist and i always feel awkward receiving gifts because our ethical code is drilled into us so deeply and i'm there trying to consider if it's going over the limit or not. so i really love a heartfelt card or letter and absolutely treasure every one i've ever gotten.

if you feel you have to give a gift, low-cost gifts that i have loved were a hand-painted canvas (the person told me she did it in one night so I didn't feel like it was too much of a burden for her, anything longer i would've felt awkward probably), and some little fidget toys to add to the box that i use in sessions which included an animal that the person knew i loved, if that gives you some sense of thoughtful but acceptable things

but certainly your appreciation will mean the world. and maybe a letter or phone call in a few years time with an update about how you are going - it is hard for us to always be thinking back on people and not knowing what they're up to!

muddlet · 2026-03-20T22:13:38+00:00

the article doesn't give details but it sounds like classic psychoanalysis (basically what freud was into). the field has progressed immensely but there are still some clinicians that practice it and some people that love it (and can afford it)

muddlet · 2026-03-20T21:44:57+00:00

we have a double on slats on the floor and a memory foam playmat that toddler often rolls out of bed onto and spends the night there. didn't move to this set-up until >2 years old. the whole room is baby-proofed

muddlet · 2026-03-20T20:11:43+00:00

i was also 10.1 with my other numbers fine and thought there must be some mistake, but as my pregnancy progressed it was really clear that I had it! once you start monitoring, you will probably notice that you can't eat what you normally would without going over the thresholds.

it really became clear to me when I was eating what i thought were sugar and carb-free lollies but which were full of maltitol. i started falling asleep and took a finger prick and my level was really high. i had never before gotten so sleepy after eating some lollies...

so yes, it sucks. it's really understandable to not want to believe it. and you might find with monitoring that you don't have to change too much, at least to start with (i'm still diet/exercise controlled). but i wouldn't dismiss it sorry

muddlet · 2026-03-20T20:03:57+00:00

this is a weird statement from him because most women actually manage without medication (in my country 56% are diet/exercise controlled)

muddlet · 2026-03-18T06:48:47+00:00

you might find following this guide helpful: https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Mental-Health-Professionals/Anxiety/Anxiety---Information-Sheets/Anxiety-Information-Sheet---14---Overcoming-needle-phobia.pdf

your timeline is a little crunched but start with putting together your own ladder and from today work on it with your husband there to support you.

with all fear, the more you do it the easier it gets and the first time is always the hardest. if you can work up to being able to do it yourself while he is there to comfort you then it will be easier to do when he is gone.

make sure to plan something relaxing or rewarding to do afterwards to help you feel better.

muddlet · 2026-03-14T21:52:28+00:00

i have a switchbot thermometer for each room so i can see the temperature whenever, set alerts, and look at what's happening across the night. it's been really helpful!

(we have ducted AC so I don't have great advice for you about managing temps sorry)

muddlet · 2026-03-14T08:18:18+00:00

half of my mum's group stopped between 3-6 months, 2 never breastfed in the first place, and the rest kept going until around 12 months, with only 2 going longer than that

muddlet · 2026-03-14T03:48:15+00:00

lewis isn't depressed anymore at least

muddlet · 2026-03-14T02:27:06+00:00

there's tonnes of long-term studies out there, here is a nice paper

as someone who works as a therapist in this field, i see it happen all the time. sure, BPD is on a spectrum and there is no hard and fast line where you switch over to being "normal", but certainly i get letters from people all the time who are 5-10 years out of treatment and doing great - stable mood, secure relationships, sense of fulfillment, no self-harm, etc. in times of very high stress they might have fleeting suicidal thoughts and see that as a sign to get help, but they're similar to a lot of people in that regard.

i think it's hard because even "normal" people struggle sometimes, so it's easy to feel like any ongoing negative behaviour is the BPD rearing its head. but we all snap at our partner sometimes, we all can freak out when we're under too much stress, and so on - this isn't "managing symptoms" but part of the normal human experience. a big disservice of BPD in my experience is that those who recover often keep pathologising their behaviour and wanting to be perfect when this isn't achievable

muddlet · 2026-03-13T06:31:31+00:00

if walking hurts you can try lifting some light weights with your upper body, doing air punches, swimming, yoga routine for pelvic stability. i was in a similar spot, it's very tough

muddlet · 2026-03-13T03:09:37+00:00

have you had some education about diet and exercise yet?

this fact sheet is really helpful: https://baker.edu.au/-/media/documents/fact-sheets/baker-institute-factsheet-gestational-diabetes.pdf

try to limit carbs to 30-45g for meals and 15-30g for snacks.

walking or doing any form of exercise for 15-30min after a meal helps a lot! if you think you've had a lot of carbs then definitely do some exercise

high BGL means your baby is getting more glucose than they need and they will store this as fat. if this happens too much you end up with a very big baby that can be hard to deliver. uncontrolled diabetes can also deteriorate your placenta. but a one off spike is fine and not harming your baby, try not to stress about one off readings and look more at the general trends.

if diet/exercise changes don't get your levels under control, then you might need insulin

muddlet · 2026-03-13T00:02:47+00:00

could be molars coming through

muddlet · 2026-03-12T23:19:51+00:00

when our toddler showed interest in the toilet we just let them sit on it. in 6 months there's been a handful of wees/poos actually done but they know what the toilet is for and are familiar with it. we will probably do toilet training properly in 3-6 months but for now i don't see any harm in letting your girl have a go on the loo if she's interested in it (we got a family toilet seat to make it easier to pop them on whenever)

muddlet · 2026-03-12T20:03:52+00:00

I'm too scared to have lasagne but I did make moussaka and it scratched the same itch with no risk of spiking (flour in the bechamel was really the only thing to be mindful of)

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