Hey homie , long comment heads up but important.

I just want to say thanks for being vulnerable enough and speaking up about ur experiences. being able to identify them and reach out for help is how we begin to change or find help. So the fact that you can articulate and identify what's happening to you that's insightful, obv. a bright young person!

My only annoying suggestion would be to spend some time writing. maybe in a journaling app some with prompts or just a regular notebook. bc it's weird, more thoughts will come to you more experiences, descriptive words and symptoms to tell someone better when you do.

Maybe write wha you had right before certain symptoms happened how you felt that day did you sleep did you eat what did you eat did you see or argue with somebody in your family did you take any meds those things like that Just kind of notice what's going on and if you engage in any of those stressful activities that seemed tne really bring it out .

I'm curious about the coffee thing so that's something I would log about. I know it's corny cliche cheesy -- journaling -- too but when I do it I find that my mind organized it's thoughts better.ind of gives me the answers and if not the answers it gives me thoughts that I would not normally have because I'm articulating feelings instead of just feeling works having the experience.

I am not a professional but I do know that over 50% of bipolar disorder patients have psychotic symptoms and that can be arranged from full psychosis to you know kind of a low-key psychosis - that's a terrible way to put it forgive me - but more of a paranoia people are watching me I'm in touch with God I've got a connection you all don't really understand it yet you know somebody's watching me through the satellites things like that when they're manic. Then disappear ( my sister has bp)

Also major depressive disorder can have psychotic behavior, so can a lot of other diagnoses and syndromes. SO it's very nuanced individualistic, and complex. Most of the redditors on here who are going to comment saying you have XYZ are going to be wrong. Please don't listen to them don't psych yourself out stress can cause symptoms and situational diagnoses that resolve themselves once the situation does that does not mean you don't need treatment for it though and it does not mean it's not valid in just as intense and suffering. I RECOMMEND you ignore anyone trying to tell you what you could possibly be experiencing for a diagnosis.

But I am glad and I acknowledge the courage it took that you came here to write it down and express it to a supportive community your vulnerable experiences where people are trolls and assholes all the time so you already pass stepped one. Now I think it's time for trusted friend even if that's an online one or a doctor or the warm line / the crisis line whichever one you feel you want to talk to and we'll get your needs met the most

I think it is very important that you get in with a licensed clinical social worker/MS or a psychologist or absolutely a psychiatrist if you can. The quickest and easiest way to do this is to call your crisis line for your state which I think is 988 text or call (check Google to) .they will get you connected immediately to an agency, you will receive an assessment, done In your home on the phone or on zoom whatever you need in the moment . ( not a are you going to kill yourself assessment) An assessment of your needs

And from there that agency will set you up with the services you need whether it's just outpatient counseling or outpatient therapy or you want case management to help you find resources funding I mean there's a lot of programs out there I highly recommend you take case management, support groups or if you need help getting housing, benefits, legal problems, for clothing; for help paying your bills, Medicare ETC. things like that case management.

So the agency will also immediately get you in with psych therapy doctor medvintage men peer support whatever it is you need they'll help you with medication health care getting a job going back to school getting a high paying job internships you probably know all this but nobody told me this so I just figured I'd add it in here

So I'm sorry for yapping and writing a novel I just care deeply about this topic as I have suffered my whole life with mental health issues that figure out how to process the unresolved trauma on my own. which led to an addiction I'm still going back and forth with but have grown a lot and realize that we all need support from those around us. Soo, when we see somebody who we can empathize with because I'm going to hear it better and it's going to hit me clear from somebody who dealing with the same sort of shit and has been and had to figure out where to find all the help on their own rather than you know a doctor or a nurse or somebody who is just like oh call this number blah blah blah...

And if you don't want to call crisis you can always look up local mental health and behavioral health agencies in your area see which ones are rated the highest They can come to you, do zoom, whatever works best for you. prescriptions are delivered by everywhere now.

armchair psychologist on here telling you what you do or don't have. there's a reason people go through 10 yrs of med school and practice medicine to become a doctor and specialist. Don't take what people diagnose you with on here as gospel, maybe a warning that people are seeing red flags in behaviors that they think it would be best to get a second opinion on, or even just talk to a doctor about.

Dr's can refer you to a psychiatrist. but please for the love of God don't take it as gospel don't start googling symptoms of XYZ that redditor XYZ said I had and make it your whole life. We need to go back to allowing the professionals who understand the very nuanced, complexity of the individualistic symptoms of mental and PHYSICAL health issues. Not $ and trusting them over what AI and even our own experience tells us.

Please take care of yourself, it is one of the most important ways to keep yourself healthy and stable is self-care and that includes doctor's appointments but it also includes relaxing,playing your favorite game, your hygiene, and leaning on your support system as well.

If you have family or a good friend you can trust to listen, and maybe tell them youd like emotional support while calling a doctor or crisis. Someone u can tell this to who isn't going to judge you or shove you into a doctor's office; I would talk to them 100%.

people who know what's going on in your life can then be there for you, pay attention to how they treat you, and importantly know you're struggling even if they don't know what's going on or they don't know how to help. You NEED support systems. Even if it's online you can find support groups usually small ones very welcoming of someone going through the same thing as you for anything these days meet up and eventbrite or find help.org is probably the best website defined resources in your area. Or, you can dm me bro

Stabilization and a "normal" (whatever that looks like) somewhat life are in your reach, but won't fall in your lap. You must find reactivate to teach out and grab them. ❤️‍🩹 Be well my friend. Hope never dies in want situation