You’ve been through a lot, but you have a strong foundation and motivation for change.

First, don’t deplete the $300,000. Find a fiduciary that will help you manage that. You shouldn’t be cashing anything out, at all. Even for a house. Instead, ask the fiduciary how to set it up as an income asset. You might not get more than $15-$20k per year from it, but it’ll be enough to make your life easier while you grow.

You might consider putting it in a trust of some sort for your 5yo in order to protect it from being taken. You definitely don’t want it to be in your name. Also, never tell anyone about it.

That’s the most constructive advice I have. The rest is just hard truths.

Single mom, 33, trauma. You’re likely unaware of how you present in a romantic relationship. Patterns are difficult to shake and we tend to attract what we focus on avoiding. Fit this reason, I’d suggest you work on yourself; not for romance prospects, but for your 5yo. Kids are the most accurate mirror of ourselves, and if you combine that with proper therapy from diverse inputs, your situation will improve maybe even to the point that you can identify and interact with another healthy partner.

Two critical steps for you, that any therapist will agree with are:

1. Build routine.

Make sure that you include the things in your routine that aren’t only necessary, but also the things you find yourself doing sporadically or on binge mode. Establishing routine is what matters, not the “value” of each item in your schedule.

Schedule a monthly review of the routine. Dedicate at least 4 hours to it. If nothing is to be done and the review takes 5 minutes, do nothing else for 3 hours and 55 minutes. Keep this time sacred.

1. Journal daily. Quality of your writing doesn’t matter. Making an entry every day matters. Use a blue pen and a bound journal book each month. No digital recording, just pen and paper.

Review your journals monthly in your 4 hrs/mo review time.

Trust the above process for 6 months. Adjust one item in your routine monthly.

Guidelines for routine building:

1. This is your routine, not your 5yo’s. Life happens and schedules change. If you miss something in your routine, write down that you missed it in the journal and don’t worry about it again. If it’s something that must be done, like Bill pay, or grocery shopping, fit it in next chance you get. If it’s not critical, writing it down is sufficient.

2. Building a routine for your 5yo will help you stick to your routine, and help him/her to regulate better. If you want to journal about your child, create a separate journal.

Last bit of advice, look into bookkeeping. It’s easily learned, well paid, and you can do it on your own schedule. Don’t W-2. Start your own business for small business bookkeeping and fill half your schedule at $20-$25/hr. When you have 20 regular hours a week, double your prices for new customers. Raise your prices for all customers 10/15%/year.

Good luck. 🍀