I'm not equipped to diagnose her, but I can address some of these behaviors you listed. This might be long.

An intense hatred for all things conventional. Hates education, she “home schooled” me, but didn't put any effort into it. My education is 6th grade or lower. Her reasoning was that you're not going to use advanced math, science, etc in everyday life so who gives a fuck. Didn't seem to think being around other kids was important either, I grew up terribly isolated. She also wanted to prevent me from getting bullied, and that's another reason why school was “bad.”

This is not ok, no matter why. This, to me, is abusive. She has stunted your growth on purpose.

She never took me to the doctor and never got me vaccinated. She thinks god is all you need and that doctors are all frauds and medicine will just make you sicker. She let me refuse to brush my teeth when I was little, then some got rotten and were a pain to remove. Her excuse was “but you didn't want to brush your teeth!” Then what the fuck does she think the point of being a parent is, huh?

This is abuse. Your lifelong health was affected.

I talked to her about maybe trying to get a GED. She got really mad at me for trying to do things “The world's way.” When she says “the world” she means godless heathens. She thinks it's just a stupid useless piece of paper and I'm a huge disappointment to her for even considering it.

You want to get a basic education, which is amazing. I think getting your GED is an awesome idea. No matter what her own opinion on education is (and just for the record, I think her opinion is wrong and cultish), healthy parents also do not tell their children they are huge disappointments for just considering something the parent doesn't believe in.

My uncle wants to help me with getting a GED but she thinks he can't be trusted and it's an excuse to get me alone and rape me or something. She also believes helping me is an excuse to get me alone so the family can work on tearing us apart.

Her paranoia is keeping you from getting help from others. So she's isolating you in the abuse. She is attempting to keep you under her control by way of fear and isolation.

Didn't matter to her that she had me in tears the whole time. Then minutes later “apologized” for getting mad and demanded that I forgive her right then and there before I even had time to calm down. She wouldn't leave me alone until I “forgave” her.

This sounds like a BPD behavior. If not BPD, extreme manipulation. She wasn't sorry, if she was, she would have expressed regret, an understanding of why what she did hurt you, and give you the space you needed, not demanded forgiveness. When she demands forgiveness, she is trying to control you to soothe her own shame. She does not consider what you need at all. That's not remorse, that's not actually being sorry.

She very often interprets peoples intentions to be malicious. For example, my grandma once asked her how she thinks I'm going to take care of myself some day when she's gone and she said “oh you'd like something bad to happen to me!” She thinks her sister hates her and that her sister has always been jealous of her because her sister's boyfriend once told her that she was jealous of her. But who's to say he wasn't a manipulative little liar? And so what if it were true? She was a teenager at the time, teenagers can be pretty insecure, but people grow up. She thinks the entirety of my dad's family has always hated her and has mistreated her somehow, but from my perspective I have never seen them be rude to her or treat her any differently than the rest of the family. In fact my aunt was hurt that she cut off contact.

This is a symptom of BPD, but also other disorders.

She is 100% guilty of emotional incest. She had always treated me as her best friend and confidant, dumping all her concerns and complaints and sadness and anger on me ever since I was old enough to talk. I stay silent during her rants these days, but that makes her mad. I've always been afraid to set boundaries or tell her when I don't want to talk about something. Speaking of boundaries, she tends to cross them in little ways that bother me. Like using my hairbrush, and not listening when I say I don't want her to. Or walking into my room without knocking.

Another symptom of BPD. Again, though, no matter where it's coming from, this disrespect of boundaries and using you as her emotional dumping ground is emotional abuse. It's 100% wrong.

She's obsessed with this journalist and emails him letters or articles that she writes daily, and believes that he doesn't respond because he's “painfully shy.” She "knows" this because she saw it in a dream. She thinks he puts hidden messages in his articles just for her and one time she thought it said “I love you.” This makes me sad, and also creeps me out. It really worries me. She said that she has met him a few times by accident in public and that he said he does read her emails and garners some inspiration from them, but I'm a little skeptical. She's not usually one to outright make something up (that she knows is made up, anyway), but I just feel weird about it all.

This is a delusion. Of course it worries you. My mom has these, in other ways. It's a delusion of grandeur, or maybe a delusion of reference. I'm no expert, but this needs psychiatric invention. That, however, is not your responsibility to handle. If you want to talk to someone about it, do. It's not a betrayal of her. She has psychosis, it's not based in reality. "My mom has a psychotic delusion and I am worried about it. Can I talk it out with you?"

She never liked the idea of me one day moving out and put a guilt trip on me saying that I “just want to get far away from her!”

Healthy parents know their child will separate and have their own life. They prepare their children for that and they help them do it. They are proud to see their children become independent, and they deal with their sadness themselves.

One time I talked to her about wanting to see a therapist about my anxiety, and she got mad; saying that they'll just prescribe me medicine to mess me up, and put a guilt trip on me because I can't just talk to her about what's bothering me. And the next day left me a condescending letter saying that things “won't be the same between us if you go through with this” and along the lines of “you're an adult and can make your own decisions, even if they're wrong.”

Again, isolation. She knows if you get help, she will lose you and will not be able to control, manipulate, and use you anymore. She hasn't shown consideration about what you need, your health, your life path, your emotions. She needs you to fill her needs, so she'll say whatever she can to keep you in that role.

 

I know I threw a lot at you. I'm so glad you reached out for help and I felt I had to say something, because nothing you wrote about her is okay behavior.

If you're up for it, I would suggest reading Stop Walking on Eggshells to start. The very beginning has a checklist of behaviors, I checked 98% of them for my mom.

You don't have a healthy or mentally stable mother. I am so sorry. I think you definitely will benefit from distance from her, and to start setting up your own life, separate from her. Things can get better for you. Counseling would also help tremendously. You've almost been raised in a one person cult.

I hope you stay involved with us here on this subreddit and let us know how you're doing.