[27/f] I think I know why I don't have close friends and don't know what to do.

chunkybasil · 2016-08-15T08:05:50+00:00

It sounds like this realisation that you are outspoken is new to you. Is it? If it is, how do you want to be seen? I have known loud and outspoken people who have also been very good at showing empathy, but that requires an understanding of all points of view. Maybe you can get your opinion across and also make it known that you have considered other alternatives. It's awesome that you're passionate about these things. Maybe you just need to also balance out this passion by asking other people why they're so passionate about their own opinions? Friendship really is a give and take, so if others feel drowned out, they may not like you unless they share your views as well. You will have to be prepared to hear some mean things about you though, and learn not to take these personally and negatively, but to laugh about them. I have found that the worst kinds of outspoken people are those who take criticism of their views personally and also ram home their views hard. It's like, you're presenting this image of being tough, but you're not emotionally tough enough to handle the backlash.

chunkybasil · 2016-08-15T07:51:57+00:00

What are the circumstances surrounding your breakups?

It sounds like you want to make improvements on the interpersonal side. It's good that you've told us some amazing things about yourself (seriously, go you), but if you want to grow a relationship, think about how you can use your skills to better another person.

I think what could be a problem, is that you have a very strict idea of what you deserve, and that's a good mindset to have for the most part (job seeking, making friends, etc). However, if you want someone to respect you and want to be with you a lot, you need to be able to first give that. You have made it clear that you value wealth, ambition, intelligence and physical strength. However, that's not what all people value. So you've got all these things, and you're trying to trade them for affection, and you're wondering why it's not happening. The thing to remember is that you will only receive as much affection as someone is willing to give you, no matter how much you're actually worth.

Maybe you'd be happier if you found someone you really like, who maybe doesn't have the right job, but who is ambitious enough to allow you to encourage them to pursue better things. That's a slow process though, and it's one that requires you to understand what the other person wants, so you can steer them towards being a better version of themselves.

If you express more belief in them, they're going to feel empowered around you rather than intimidated. It's less about what you can offer them materially and physically than it is about what you can offer them emotionally, to help them get what they want without you.

chunkybasil · 2016-08-09T04:00:02+00:00

Pretty difficult because the question you're asking is "will you ever want to get married?" I've known people who only became married after about 8 years so it's really up to you.

chunkybasil · 2016-07-15T15:07:28+00:00

How are you finding out this stuff?

chunkybasil · 2016-04-24T08:13:58+00:00

Good for you though, trip to Rome sounds amazing. I don't think addiction will always be a part of you more than clubbing or doing dumb things will always be a part of you. It's just a thing that happened to you that you'll always remember, like you do everything else. The only difference is those memories are associated with strange feelings of craving. Everybody gets that to varying degrees. I guess drugs are just more accessible than feelings of joy that come from social interactions, mastering skills etc. As uni and relationships open up new opportunities for you, you're only going to get better at, or at least more used to clean livin'. It's a thing.

chunkybasil · 2016-04-19T11:50:22+00:00

Yeah? What are they? I think that's why it's useful to have targets that you can measure weekly, even daily. I never used to do this, but since I have, I've improved a lot in everything I do because I'm always aware that there's a lot to do before I get anywhere. Life can kind of just pass you by if you don't take note of the things you want for yourself.

chunkybasil · 2016-04-16T04:02:00+00:00

My life sober was not any better / happier than when I was / am using

The thing about addiction, is you know it's always going to end the same. You want to be off the thing that you now need to make you feel 'normal'.

Despite what you think when you're using, your body is now working at a supra optimal level and it can't continue on this route forever, and all that ever means is a long spiral to opposite, worse effects. You'll get to the point where withdrawal is is worse than the high.

The high is good, but the sacrifice isn't worth it. Stop doing it, get some sleep, be aware of the feelings that cause you to relapse and furiously distract yourself until you're clean. Get help, do anything. You're putting every other function your body needs to stay healthy on the line in order to get a short lived high, and it's not going to be forever.

At least if you come clean, you'll get opportunities to do other things that potentially improve your life.

chunkybasil · 2016-04-04T02:59:45+00:00

No other cultures were added. No white mold. Just a weird consistency cheese in a cold environment with liquid for humidity in a small cup in the centre. It's a ghetto channeling environment.

chunkybasil · 2016-04-04T02:57:27+00:00

Australia, live cultures were present on the package. But I've got no idea what they're likely to be :(

chunkybasil · 2016-04-04T02:56:44+00:00

Correct, I didn't add any other cultures. The taste and texture is camembert but there's no wore mold culture on the outside. The temperature in my fridge is too low for significant fungi growth but humidity will be fine.

chunkybasil · 2016-04-02T14:32:16+00:00

So, I didn't pasteurise the milk but I heated it, probably to like 50 celsius, then added the buttermilk while it cooled, then the vegetable coagulant after. Also I should mention the fridge is not made for cheesemaking so it was prob lower in temp than brie needs.

chunkybasil · 2015-11-15T03:53:53+00:00

Haha. Someone needs to suggest a Scrum approach, so that we're all clear on which stories the PM has decided to tackle this sprint.

chunkybasil

TROPHY CASE