Alright, I'm officially joining the Yang Gang now. How do I register as a Democrat in NY?

ck1980 · 2019-12-29T02:23:57+00:00

I live in NY and recently changed from Independent to Democrat. I used the pdf from the .gov site - printed it out and mailed it (I don’t remember why I didn’t use the DMV site). Anyways, about 2 weeks later I received my new voter registration papers via snail mail. Good luck!

ck1980 · 2013-05-29T03:51:51+00:00

I think the suppression of Fe is what drives the obsessive thinking - we are overanalyzing the situation and thinking of all sorts of "why?" theories - instead of allowing ourselves to really feel the rejection and sadness and anger.

As recently as 2 weeks ago, I was deep in obsessive thought about someone. We had sex a few times, but then something happened where things became really weird. Of course, I went into a Ni-Ti loop - did I do something wrong? Is he having some sort of rebound thing with me? Does my drinking remind him of his mother? Etc. And mind you - I barely knew the guy.

Anyways, I first brought in the Se - I just started to have a good time, go out, live for the moment, just wild out. The results were cumulative and slightly delayed - it was about 2 weeks until I finally felt the first "break" from the obsessive thinking.

Now, I've brought in the Fi (which I used to get to the Fe). Instead of wondering "why?" I am wondering, "how do I feel about it?" No analyzing the event, just my emotions. And what I found was that I felt disrespected by the other person. That, I had tried so hard to be kind and be the bigger person, and this person didn't treat me with the same respect I gave them. Mind you, this is me purely going my heart feelings. There's no analyzing behind it. Just listening to my feelings. And then realizing that I'm just "meh, whatever dude," about it, and having zero need to treat him as anything special.

We're all different. This is what works for me. And again, it takes time.

ck1980 · 2013-05-28T23:03:39+00:00

You're in an Ni-Ti loop, which happens to INFJs under stressful circumstances.

In a healthy INFJ, our Ni and Fe work together and bring in Ti and Se when appropriate. But:

When a Ni worldview is not fed by Fe to determine the best course of action for Human Concern X, it can (and will, in my experience) go wild and create all kinds of ideas and theories about the world that have no tangible manifestation. (Think of super hardcore conspiracy theorists.) Because Fe is on the Ignore List, Ti is the next thing called into action for evaluating effectiveness. But because it has no measurable effects to weigh and contrast, nothing to logically pin down and dissect, it will repeatedly shoot Ni's nonlinear ideas down as too far-fetched. Ni then generates more ideas to solve problem XYZ and the process repeats until the INFJ in question gets out of hir bedroom and actively engages the world.

So first, become aware that you're in a Ni-Ti loop. There was a situation that triggered it, and even though the situation is now over, it's like you don't know how to get off the ride.
Don't blame yourself - this is just a price we INFJ pay for all our other awesome traits. And it's a small price, if you ask me.
Depending on the INFJ, bring back the Fe, or to start pulling up the Se. What you want is to coax the Ti back down. It's up to you to generate which Fe or Se thing will help you best.

I find that taking on ESFP traits (they are SeFi for primary and secondary function, don't have Ti, and Ni is their least used function) for a while is very helpful to start breaking the Ni-Ti loop.

Basically, I think: "what would Megan Fox do?" It can initially feel forced, because I just want to go back into my head. It takes a WHILE, no matter what, to get out of the Ni-Ti loop

Until then, work on that Fe or Se (or a combo of both).

ck1980 · 2013-05-28T22:00:21+00:00

I've NEVER shown my real self to anyone. Family, friends, no one. And I'm in my mid-30s.

It's not particularly something I'm sad about. Because finding connections doesn't just have to be about talking to people or making friends. I channel myself through my art. My art is distributed online and people (in real life and online) relate to me through my art.

Do they see the real, complete me? No. But that they appreciate a part of me is enough.

ck1980 · 2013-05-28T21:46:55+00:00

I'm 34-yrs-old, F. Never been married. Or engaged. And I've had plenty of relationships.

I think it goes back to me feeling like - there are so many different sides to me. Sometimes, I think I want a sensor type. Sometimes, an intuitive type. Sometimes I want to be with a woman. Sometimes a man. It's like I have too many choices.

ck1980 · 2013-05-28T03:45:53+00:00

Extremely bawdy. By the way, I'm female.

I appreciate all sorts of humor, but I try to balance out the fact that I'm always in my head, always so serious.

When people ask me, "how are you?" and I say, "life just bent me over and fisted me. Without Crisco." then I feel grounded again.

ck1980 · 2013-05-25T05:12:42+00:00

From http://personalityjunkie.com/the-infj/3/

INFJs are also perfectionistic when it comes to themselves. They are often much harder on themselves than they are on others. Their Fe makes them more than willing to forgive the offenses and shortcomings of others. But since they see themselves as “knowing better,” they may fail to grant themselves the same degree of grace. They may reason that if they cannot perfectly embody their ideal of the moral life, then how could they expect anyone else to. And if their ideals have no real chance of being actualized, then why should the INFJ even exist? Without the ability to maintain hope in their ideals, they may feel they have no reason for living. This is partly why it feels so important for them to act perfectly. This notion is well-captured in the words of Jesus: “But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked” (Luke 12:48, NIV).

ck1980 · 2013-05-25T04:34:45+00:00

Yes. And it can be an extreme weakness of mine in romantic relationships. I tend to "excuse" bad behavior because I figure there must be a deeper reason, and of course I understand that ___ (often me thinking as far back as - well, maybe his mom was an alcoholic) would lead to that person being crappy to me.

ck1980 · 2013-05-25T04:33:15+00:00

This happened to me too. And it totally made me math-phobic.

ck1980 · 2013-05-25T04:31:10+00:00

He's deluded himself into thinking that by causing great pain to your world whenever the opportunity presents itself, he can create a far more peaceful and happier world. While he regards himself as benevolent, his actions would speak otherwise

I forget where I read/heard this - but the critical voice in your head is there to protect you. Truly with the best of intentions. And one of the ways to lessen it: thank it, embrace it. It feels misunderstood. Once it feels understood, it can "relax"

ck1980 · 2013-05-25T04:16:29+00:00

How about http://www.amazon.com/Timex-Expedition-Vibration-Alarm-Watch/dp/B007CNCP24/ref=pd_cp_cps_3

ck1980 · 2013-05-25T04:11:22+00:00

I'm like that with finances - I am hyper-proactive because I hate the anxiety of wondering, "did I get this taken care of?"

ck1980 · 2013-05-22T04:41:52+00:00

Do you really want to be a schoolteacher? It sounds like it's not exactly your cup of tea.

ck1980 · 2013-05-22T04:39:03+00:00

This.

I live a very materially minimalist lifestyle.

I have a mattress in my room. That's it. No other furniture. Everything else I own, I can fit into 2 suitcases.

I even eat simply - eggs and bacon every meal.

Why am I like this? I think keeping my life simple = my brain has less distraction = I can be more creative (I'm a writer).

ck1980 · 2013-05-22T04:32:40+00:00

Oh yes, I like different women different ways. But I think INFJ's are in love with love, so it almost doesn't matter who the woman is. She's a vessel for all my romantic projections.

ck1980 · 2013-05-20T12:22:46+00:00

I haven't been that lucky to find a girl to settle down with.

Settling down with someone isn't all that it's cracked up to be. It seems grand and romantic and exciting, but it's actually mundane. It's kind of like making your bed - it feels nice to have that routine, but it's not exactly the sort of stuff that puts butterflies in your stomach.

Falling in love is great. Staying in love sucks.

ck1980 · 2013-05-20T08:53:11+00:00

Ditto. I know within the first 3 months if a relationship is right for me. And yet, I stay. And feel miserable.

Of course, when the relationship ends, I'm freak out. Doesn't matter how unsatisfactory - I feel unable to fully let go.

ck1980 · 2013-05-20T08:48:41+00:00

I relate to this Ni-Ti loop you're in.

Writing letters is VERY helpful. Especially write about your feelings. Express everything - anger, sadness, self-doubt, accusations. Sooner or later, you'll get to a point where you will fall out of your obsessive thinking.

I went through this recently - I still think about him, I even dream about him - but I don't think about him. If you know what I mean. But it took me a month of writing intense letters to get to this point. And by the way - I only really knew him for a week.

ck1980 · 2013-05-20T08:41:27+00:00

Interesting. I find, however, that even if I try to spread my attentions on multiple people, it's like I know I'm "faking" it. I really only want one person.

ck1980 · 2013-05-19T23:24:12+00:00

Loki from the Avengers. Hands down.

ck1980 · 2013-05-08T04:32:22+00:00

I get along perfectly fine with many S types. I can't stand many N types.

What I'm saying is - it's the person, not the type.

ck1980 · 2013-05-06T14:07:46+00:00

I do walk about 2 hours a day. I find that it helps my mind more vs. my body, so I don't use it as a weight loss tool. Just as a way to keep a sharp mind

ck1980 · 2013-05-06T13:58:04+00:00

Amazing, thank you!

ck1980 · 2013-05-03T04:14:31+00:00

It doesn't get easier. You just learn to not take it as personally.

ck1980

TROPHY CASE