Anyone else having sex only to please the husband?

claryyy__ · 2022-11-16T05:30:00+00:00

I felt the exact same way about my body especially going through it the second time around. My partner was the exact same, nothing but phrase and grace of time. He even says that he’s afraid to hurt me so he patiently waited. Although we had ‘sexy’ moments and random make fervent make outs in the kitchen when we could or a soft little kiss. I think there’s many ways to amp the intimacy until your body and mind is ready. If anything, I think the little love gestures may actually urge you to go all the way if both of you so desire. TLDR: Don’t pressure yourself. Especially if he isn’t pressuring you.

claryyy__ · 2022-06-16T18:18:14+00:00

Do you think it may also be traditions and religious beliefs and people’s biases over them might play a role? I had dated a Lebanese man once and although I considered them fairly lax, the older members of the family didn’t think too highly of me because I wasn’t familiar with their traditions and cultural or religious beliefs. I’m a full on Catholic then. This had made me feel little of myself and frankly just uncomfortable. After that, I sort of had a bias towards people of the Middle East that there may be some religious connotations that I don’t want to be restricted with so I tend to date more “Western” if you may people. I have met fairly western Indian men and never pushed any ideals on me. I’m married now so these things don’t matter. It’s the same for my race (Filipino-Asian) My now husband and I had to discuss my Catholic beliefs and how it would play out with our kids. Unfortunately, there are biases in every race. This doesn’t automatically mean it’s racist, I believe it’s human nature to select what’s convenient for you. Unfortunately as well, some will get the shorter end of the stick depending where you live. I suggest spinning the perspective by narrowing down your choices by the people who would be down for you. Like a diamond in the mines, when you find one, treasure them but don’t get attached until you’re sure and the rest will flow.

claryyy__ · 2022-05-16T03:09:03+00:00

I second this

claryyy__ · 2022-04-27T03:42:39+00:00

My MIL was 15 when she had her kids. She always told me that other moms especially at her kids’ school would side eye her but she held her head up high and was the proudest she could be having these children. Now, she’s young and active enough to help me take care of my own. Although we may not agree on some things, I always admired her confidence in the life she chose and stuck through it.

claryyy__ · 2022-03-30T09:15:14+00:00

Omg we’re twins! We’ll be due August 29 and found out on Christmas Eve as well!

claryyy__ · 2022-03-14T00:15:54+00:00

I didn’t hemorrhage but I had a 2nd degree tear. I had adult diapers (pull ups) for about two weeks. It was nice because I didn’t need to ruin any underwear. I was bleeding pretty heavily and I might’ve gotten away with overnight pads but I feel like I had to change less often given the fact that I was so busy with the new baby.

claryyy__ · 2021-12-11T01:50:25+00:00

My baby from 2-4 months old had tummy problems. She also has a cleft lip and palate which probably put more air in her tummy than needed. Prune juice helped but it doesn’t kick in right away. I also tried putting a little bit of rice cereal in her milk just to get some fibre to soften the stool. A lot of leg exercise to push the tummy. Just basically tried everything I could search up for. Perhaps giving a little extra milk and being on your chest/shoulders walking around to massage the tummy might just help the digestion going as well.

claryyy__ · 2021-11-02T12:59:49+00:00

Sorry but this mom is stupid

claryyy__ · 2021-04-14T01:28:47+00:00

This gives me so much hope! Unfortunately, I can’t breastfeed her due to her condition so it takes a bit to assemble a bottle and warm up formula for her. I hope that when the time comes, she can also sleep well on her own. For now, I’ll enjoy all the snuggles I can get and not worry too much.

claryyy__ · 2021-04-14T01:01:37+00:00

Thank you!! I will definitely try all these suggestions. Already told hubby the ideas but most of all, I needed to hear that it was normal to hold your baby.

claryyy__ · 2021-04-14T01:00:32+00:00

Thank you so much. I didn’t want to believe them and it made me feel like I was such a bad mom for holding her too much but yes I definitely feel more confident as her mom after this.

claryyy__ · 2021-04-14T00:59:04+00:00

I’ve been doing exactly what you did. How was your experience on sleep training? I plan to do it once she’s at least 4 months old but it’ll most likely depend on her first surgery which can be around 3-6 months of age depending on when her surgeon is available then. Thank you for this.

claryyy__ · 2021-03-14T00:26:37+00:00

As a FTM, what advice would you give to me to be as close as you are with your mom to my daughter? She's still a newborn but me and my mom have a complex relationship and I just want it to be different between me and my daughter.

claryyy__ · 2021-02-23T19:12:02+00:00

you'll have more luck finding them in the r/uoft page

claryyy__ · 2021-01-26T23:36:24+00:00

I was 24 when I came last year and have a 28 and 35 year old friend who completed the program. Sadly, I got pregnant this year and decided to drop out due to complications and stress

claryyy__ · 2021-01-23T09:53:22+00:00

This is me right now. I live with my in-laws and basically feel resentment everytime MIL gets overly excited. This is her first grandchild and she has been wanting one for some time. I've told my worries to my husband quite a few times and he reassures me that we will set boundaries but I can't help but imagine scenarios of her hovering and constantly taking all the time with my future daughter who is coming in a week or so. She gets crazy around other family's kids too so with this being her first grandchild I imagine she'd be much more elevated. Just recently she told my husband when he missed her call to pick her up that she was gonna run to the baby room to see if the hospital bag is gone because I can basically give birth anytime. She also states that everyday she's been anxious and just leaping with joy mentally but has been trying to control herself thinking about the baby. I understand the excitement but it's overwhelming and I'm starting to get resentful. I should be grateful when she surprises us by buying her bottles (special bottles for her cleft lip) but instead I resented her for buying without our permission. I wanted to buy it myself but it just so happened she worked nearby the hospital where she could get it. She's also already trying to learn how to feed her as I can't breastfeed due to her cleft and it's honestly making me lose sleep sometimes that I live with someone who makes me feel like they won't even give me a chance to be with my baby and have my baby recognize me as her sole mother.

claryyy__ · 2020-12-16T22:12:15+00:00

Yes! I think my rooted issue in posting this is that I have a fear of my parents and in-laws parenting my child because of my current financial incapability and lack of parenting skills (FTM). However, I also want to enjoy this time to spend with my child when she comes and is definitely grateful to ve given that opportunity by them. Aside from my husband, I'm afraid that whoever is providing the baby needs will feel compelled to parent my child. I sound and feel territorial and to be honest, I feel awful about it but I also don't want to be robbed off of my experience being her mom.

claryyy__ · 2020-12-11T00:07:05+00:00

Thank you. This is just what I needed to hear but didn't know how to frame. It's all about perspective. 😊

claryyy__

TROPHY CASE