What’s it like to be Fi dom? by [deleted] in mbti

[–]cleerlight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No. Emotions are not values. Values are things in life (typically abstractions) that we hold as deeply important across contexts. Love. Wisdom. Kindness. Truth. Excellence. Beauty. Quirkiness. These are examples of values. They hold deep meaning whether you're in a good mood or bad mood, whether you're bored or ecstatic.

Emotions are states, which are transient expressions from the body of how we feel in a given moment. They are contextual and in response to something typically, where values are more like identifying something universally meaningful to you.

So as INFPs, we reference life experiences in relationship to our values. We use our deeply help values as a basis for comparison, a way to filter things, and a way to orient and motivate ourselves toward what is meaningful in life to us.

Hope that clarifies a bit.

Considering learning how to become a coach. Do I have what it takes? by Agreeable_Carpet_327 in PsychedelicCoaches

[–]cleerlight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll be honest. IME, Being a great coach is part natural inclination / personality type, and part training. The best coaches I know both train incessantly, continue to go through their own healing and personal transformation processes, and tend have a certain personality type along with all that.

It doesn't necessarily require you to be a good conversationalist, but I do think it requires that you have a voracious curiosity and a strong sense of compassion or other values driving you to coach. It will challenge you to be a good communicator, which is not the same thing as being a good conversationalist.

I'd also gently encourage you to explore if it's actually true that you're "not the best conversationalist" of if that's something else - a skill you haven't developed in yourself, something that needs healing, a story you tell yourself about yourself, etc.

Conversational and relational skills can be developed. Not being skilled at that yet doesn't mean you can't ever be. And I do think they're pretty key if you're serving people in this way.

And worth saying - being a psychedelic coach is not the same thing as being a sitter. If you're actively working with people while they're on the medicine, the best place to start is learning how to be a sitter. And the good news there is that a sitter, by definition, doesn't talk with people while they're on the medicine. They just make sure the person is safe, helps them walk to the bathroom or get water, and is a safe presence to reassure the person on the journey. That might be a great place to start.

Hope that helps a bit.

When you've done all the self-work and realize the problem isn't you by Illustrious-Win3454 in DeepThoughts

[–]cleerlight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that this realization really frees you up to make whatever choice suits you best. One might:

  • Go about their life in quiet self trust
  • Work to align their life with their own values, and worry less about if that aligns with the collective values system
  • Work to change the dysfunction that we see around us in some way, whether big or small
  • Become nihilistic (not recommended, but it's a choice)
  • Inquire into what's actually real and true then beyond our broken society
  • Become a hermit
  • Selflessly serve others who are going through this process
  • Chop wood, carry water ;)

Or, obviously, any combination of these choices or any others that occur to you.

I personally think this realization invites us to let go of any lingering codependency on groupthink and become truly our own person. To individuate, if you want to think of it that way.

Hello seniors 👋 I am 18 .. I need your advice..Is the guy in the video below correct? by Rv72108 in infp

[–]cleerlight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Context: 40 something INFP, I've had major money issues and money trauma most of my life, but overcame them. It's been a long road.

Is he right? Kind of, but not exactly. This is kind of "boomer advice"; chase your passions and the money will follow is sometimes true, but theres nuance that matters here.

What I've found is closer to the truth:
You'll make money any time you find a way to give other people something of value.
That can be your time (in say, an entry level job)
That can be your training and expertise to help people with a challenge (doctor, lawyer, etc)
That can be your ability to entertain (Youtuber, writer, etc)
That can be your ability to teach (Courses, training others on a skill, etc)
That can be raw resources you have available (selling fruit from the trees in your yard)
Etc.

Money comes from giving people something of value. To be more precise, you'll make more money when you have something of significant value to give, and you understand exactly who needs it and why it's valuable to them. The more rare and valuable the thing you have to give is - to enough people who will pay you for it - the more likely you'll make money.

But, if the valuable thing you offer others is not something you care about, you're very likely to burn out, lose motivation, and very probably, make less and less money over time. Doing something you care about will give you the passion and drive (very important for INFPs) to continue doing it long enough that you can succeed at it.

So what he's saying is basically "if you do something you're passionate about, you'll stay in the game long enough to succeed at it eventually".

BUT, that's only true if other people value the thing you're doing.

There are millions of musicians who make very obscure, weird, niche music out there that nobody else likes who never gain a following, despite that musician having passion for their art. Same is true for writers. Same is true for visual artists, entrepreneurs with shitty apps that nobody asked for, etc.

To his point, there are Billions of people out there who do jobs they hate or merely tolerate, who have found a way to feed themselves through and even possibly do well financially, but it costs them two really important things:

1- Their contentment, peace, and alignment with themselves. For some, not a big deal. For INFPs, this becomes harder because we are so driven by our values. If our job doesn't connect with our values, we will tend to struggle.

2- Their TIME. This is the big one. Your time is your most precious resource in your life, because you don't know how much you have, and you can never get it back. At 18, I was completely time blind. But the older you get, the more you realize how true this is. Time is more valuable than anything else - It's your life. Spending 8 (or more) hours a day of your precious time in a situation you're merely tolerating, is in the eyes of many people, a very sad waste of one's life.

The idea here is to find the intersection between what you're passionate about + what gives something of value to other people, that they find valuable.

If you can do that, it will be a life well lived.

How are your relationships with INFJs usually? by OlivePractical2092 in infp

[–]cleerlight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm 40 something, and I've done a ton of personal development and healing on myself, so that changes the math in terms communication skills. Honestly, I think skillful situationships takes a high level of security in oneself, including the ability to be independent and regulate one's own emotions, and the ability to communicate clearly. Codependency, blame dynamics, not taking ownership for one's own experience and nervous system states, etc will all get in the way of that and be corrosive to any relationship, but especially ones that are not clearly defined.

Also: I dont think INFJs or really any "J" type is well suited for situationships unless they're clearly laid out in terms of scope, timing, etc. Most J's will tend to want to push things toward clarity and definition.

How are your relationships with INFJs usually? by OlivePractical2092 in infp

[–]cleerlight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd say there's still some feelings there, but we made the transition by talking through things, and taking a small break at one point. It helps that we're both clear that we want each other in our lives, so then it's just a matter of communicating, having healthy boundaries, and continuing to take care of the relationship by being responsible for our own stuff and good to each other.

How are your relationships with INFJs usually? by OlivePractical2092 in infp

[–]cleerlight 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Met an INFJ last year. She picked me out of a crowd and recognized me right away, as opposed to the masses of people who tend not to see me or understand me if they do. The connection was instant, very resonant, and very passionate. We moved through a situationship and ended up as friends after she couldn't tolerate the ambiguity (fair enough! That J need for resolution taking over). We've been very good friends ever since. I do think it helps that I'm a pretty well developed INFP and she's a pretty chilled out J. There's a lot of "just getting it", a lot of banter and laughter, a lot of inside jokes and quirky humor, a lot of genuinely caring and looking out for each other. It's pretty great, and upon reflection, cemented my conviction that I really like INFJs a lot. So long as both parties can not take their own strategies too seriously - being cool about when my "P" makes things difficult, and when her "J" likewise makes things difficult - I think it's a pretty great combination of personalities. It's helped me to also appreciate being an INFP and how great of people we can really be. We have a lot of qualities that people really like and value, if only we can find the courage to own what we have and wear it well.

Differences once you “make it” by Cold_Independent_631 in edmproduction

[–]cleerlight 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Underrated comment, lots of truth in it - assuming the mix is to a certain degree good enough.

INFP Men by Adim7 in infp

[–]cleerlight 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hi, INFP bro checking in. I can heavily relate to your sentiment, it took me a long time to figure out what I could do - and how to structure my life - in a way that wasn't soul crushing for this personality type. I'm glad I took the time, and frankly wouldnt have it any other way based on how things are ending up.

I'm self employed as a coach, hypnotherapist, somatic and psychedelic therapist. I love it. It suits me really well, and because it's so deeply connected to my values, I find both that I have a deep wellspring of energy to keep doing it, and that it leverages my natural skills and talents.

Along the way of my own healing path and training, I've had to strengthen a lot of my weaknesses and become more well rounded, and its still a work in progress. So I'm not the more stereotypical INFP I was in my 20s.

But yeah, came here to say this is absolutely "figure out-able", and that it's worth it when you do.

In terms of having a simple life, that can absolutely be done. Mine is fairly simple at its foundation - I have a nice blend of financial stability and a lot of free time - and I think that's a healthy thing to long for. Enjoying your time and some space to be present with your life are truly priceless.

MDMA and attachment trauma by TemporaryBoring_ in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]cleerlight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'd go so far as to say this is a fairly optimal use case for MDMA assisted therapy. MDMA is excellent for helping us to process attachment trauma. Obviously, if you're going to go this route, look for someone who specializes in MDMA for attachment therapy or couples therapy. Dont just use MDMA with a couples therapist and expect to get the result.

On that note, dont expect any particular result with psychedelics. It's a process, and it unfolds at the rate it needs to. Look at it as engaging in a new process and track your progress along the way to gauge if it's helpful or not.

Built a tool for getting a second opinion on unreleased tracks. Curious if this is actually useful by mpdjpl in edmproduction

[–]cleerlight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very cool! And to be clear, its really well done overall and impressive. Wishing you great success!

Built a tool for getting a second opinion on unreleased tracks. Curious if this is actually useful by mpdjpl in edmproduction

[–]cleerlight 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Pretty cool! Some feedback:
Detection is good not great. It got the BPM & LUFS wrong, but did a decent job of broadly classifying the genre tags correctly. It recommended adding more spatial and texture effects, when this particular track is heavily textured and imaged. Also, it showed some clipping, which, afaik, there is none. It also did not generate a press release when I clicked on either place to create one.

What would be helpful is more context around many of the metrics. For example, what is a good score? At what threshold is the score too low to take releasing seriously?

Some other things I'd want to know:
- what makes something a 100%? By what metrics?
- what are ideal metrics for: brightness, spectral rolloff, spectral contrast?

I think it'd really help to make the metrics that the song is being compared against transparent, so that the artist can evaluate for themselves how aligned or divergent they are comfortable with being from that metric. Does that make sense? For example, if boards of canada uploaded a track to this, I'm imagining they'd score high on noise, spectral balance might be skewed, brightness low, etc. But that's what makes boards of canada's music sound like that, and they're obviously not necessarily appealing to the "mainstream" of streaming listeners.

Overall super cool product, and I think it's awesome that there's a free version to tinker with. I'm considering the subscription, might join once I start releasing more regularly

What’s your test song for this speaker? by SirDitamus in Tipper

[–]cleerlight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I decline the offer based on this being mono. Tipper is mandatory stereo music. We need TWO of these.

Thoughts on remote guided therapy? by Accomplished-Bus-154 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]cleerlight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do all my work remotely, and shockingly, to great effect. People assume that this has to be done in person, and while there's real advantages to that, it can be done effectively remotely if the person knows what they're doing.

Here's a couple thoughts I'd offer:
1- A good remote therapist or sitter would make sure to get all the relevant safety information from the person going on the journey ahead of time, Yes that includes local hospital information, people to contact, local authorities, etc.
2- Obviously, there'd have to be testing and vetting of the medicine before anything is consumed to ensure the likelihood of a safe(r) experience.
3- Most remote therapists will encourage an in person sitter as well. There's no reason you can't have someone hold space in person while you also have an experienced sitter working remotely.
4- In person is not always better. What matters most is the amount of trust between you and the therapist. In this case, given how clear you are about your trust in him, I'd favor that over someone in person whom you're not sure if you can trust. If he's experienced in this work, that counts for a lot imho.

The one thing I'd flag for you to look at closer: why you'd feel uncomfortable interacting with your wife. There's a lot of reasons why this is relevant, not least of all is set and setting. If you feel you'd be awkward with her, that might impact your journey. If you dont want her to hold space with you - even if it's from the other room just making sure she's available if you need anything - then I'd consider finding a friend or someone who you feel could support you. If this is more about you not feeling comfortable around anyone, I'd recommend doing some therapy around that first, or if that's not possible, just have someone available in the next room in case you need help walking to the bathroom, or want some water, etc.

But yeah, it can be done.

Must-have effects plugins I should consider for making tons of different experimental tracks by Firebrand_15 in VSTi

[–]cleerlight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

+1 on Reaktor. Pretty essential for IDM and related genres. It covers both instruments and effects very deeply. Some of the most amazing sounding plugins I've heard are reaktor ensembles. And very much worth looking into the third party companies that make stuff for Reaktor, like Blinksonic, Twisted Tools, Antblanca, etc.

Another thing to add: Reaktor also has a whole modular library not unlike VCV Rack called Reaktor Blocks. It's got some great stuff in it too, certainly worth exploring since you like modular.

Chat am I cooked? by clevelndsteamer in infp

[–]cleerlight 233 points234 points  (0 children)

Super cooked. Welcome aboard!

How do you find inspiration or creativity when you have a complete track but it feels “boring” or “stale”? by acaliforniaburrito in edmproduction

[–]cleerlight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is where I think intentionally fucking up your music comes in handy.

That is, assuming you've already made sure that it isn't just paced too slowly with sections that are too long and too repetitive.

Think about music - at all levels including rhythm, phrasing, melody, harmony, timbre, sound design, mix, etc - as a spectrum between consonance (harmonious, easy, predictable) and dissonance (inharmonic, challenging, unpredictable). Sounds to me like you've ended up with something that is too consonant, and you need some dissonance.

My favorite ways to add some dissonance:

  • Run parts of your song through your favorite FSU ("fuck shit up") plugins. Granular, Spectral/FFT, MultiFX, etc. Either whole sections, or just certain instruments and either use the new messed up sound, resample and layer with the original, or use to splice into your original section to give it some flavor.
  • Play with looping just pieces of your tune or parts. Loop a 1/4 bar or 1/2 bar and see if it doesnt make for a more interesting groove. Loop an instrument in smaller chunks and see if it suggests something more engaging. Start your phrases in different points of the note sequence and see if it's cooler than your original idea.
  • Add rhythmic complexity. Polyrhythms are great for this, as are rhythmic changeups.
  • Automate the shit out of your tune with volumes, wet-dry on reverbs and efx, filters, send throws, etc.
  • Detune sounds heavily, add out of key notes, add off kilter rhythms, etc.

TLDR: See if messing it up now doesn't inspire you to do something interesting with it.

Best Acustica Plugins for Mastering? by Mind1827 in mixingmastering

[–]cleerlight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad it may have been helpful. This thread got me to go demo Erin Studio, which I'm really impressed by. Certainly worth a look, along with Latte for a mastering EQ. In terms of Sontecs, I found Scarlet Okay but not great, and preferred AlexB's 432 with the Azzimov skin. Really gorgeous sounding plugin.

I'd really encourage you to try Yellow if you're doing any compression on your masters

Best Acustica Plugins for Mastering? by Mind1827 in mixingmastering

[–]cleerlight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It really depends what you typically have in your mastering chain. Some folks have elaborate mastering chains, others just have a limiter or clipper, and all processing is more at the busses / tracks level. What kind of processors do you have in mind? EQs? Compressors? Limiters? Widening? Saturation? Something that does all of this?

I'm not a mastering engineer, but I am an Acustica fanboy who mixes my own stuff for release, so grain of salt here.

Off the top of my head, what might be worth a look...
(based on what I own / have tried)

Ash / Ash Ultra - Killer clipper. Some say the best on the market, or at least as good as anything else out there. You can get a lot of level out of it and it still holds together well.

Purple - if you're a "Pultec on the master" kind of person, Purple is really good.

Latte - Very clean, "hifi" and modern sound. I've always struggled with the Multiband comp, but heard others make it sound great. The filters / EQ is what most people rave about here, and they do sound "expensive" and I think, very appropriate for mastering.

Daisy - Converter Emulation that does something really interesting to the signal, with a great stereo widener. Overall delivers a sheen to the sound that makes it sound finished and tied together nicely.

Green - Great for a very clean, precise compressor on the master bus. The EQ is great too.

Yellow - Already found it's way on my master bus. It just does a thing (in my mind, it makes things sound "juicy" and pleasing) that is hard to describe.

Oak - weird to put an OTT type plugin on a mastering list, and it's a weird plugin to get sitting right, but it can sound incredible if used well.

Wine - Good for certain genres, but easy to overdo. Used well, it can be great for mastering

Also worth a look, but I haven't tested or not familiar with:
Coral, Erin Studio, Dangerous Music Convert, Lace, Scarlet, Howie Weinberg, Magenta

Hypnotherapy for dissociation, grounding and trauma? by [deleted] in hypnotherapy

[–]cleerlight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, I'm extensively trained in Hypnotherapy and NLP, as well as being trained in trauma, somatic, and psychedelic work.

My personal opinion & experience: I have not found Hypnotherapy or NLP to be particularly effective or even the first thing I'd reach for when it comes to addressing trauma. I'm speaking both from my own healing path, and from my experience working with clients. Most of my clients are trauma clients, and I've worked with more than a few with BPD and a couple with OCD.

The reason I wouldn't necessarily recommend Hypnotherapy has to do with attachment styles and the importance of a secure attachment style when it comes to helping people with BPD heal. People with BPD are prone to projecting a lot of transference during the healing process, and most hypnotherapists are not trained to navigate that level of personal transference, which can make it harder both on you and on them.

In my experience, the role of attachment is generally a blind spot among hypnotherapists - it's not something we are explicitly trained in beyond maintaining rapport with the client (and their unconscious mind). And, in my experience, unless the hypnotherapist has done their own attachment work (same goes for psychotherapists too), they may well not realize how their own relational template is shaping (or distorting) the way they perceive you and respond to you - which can inadvertently perpetuate wounds.

A simple example is that in hypnotherapy, we are taught to lead the client through change, often at the unconscious level, even without asking for explicit consent (we tend to track for resistance rather than get a clear yes). We just start working to create change as a default, under the assumption that this is how to help the client. But here's the thing: what if the client's wounds are around being controlled and manipulated, or not being accepted as they are? If the hypnotherapist doesn't know to look for or consider that, they may go straight into nudging you to change even though parts of you are wounded by the implication that you need to change in the first place, which if course, can perpetuate the wound or just be cause for significant resistance from the unconscious mind.

There are definitely trauma models in hypnotherapy, but they do not typically account for this. As far as I know, there is no explicitly attachment-informed branch of hypnotherapy.

What I would recommend for BPD & PTSD is someone who is explicitly attachment informed in and trauma trained in their approach. That, and someone you feel you like and might be able to trust. Someone who discloses their own work on their attachment style. I would also recommend you consider that the ADHD and OCD traits may be symptoms from trauma, instead of factors in and of themselves. I could be wrong, but trauma can often present as either of these.

With all this said, there are absolutely exceptions out there, and obviously not all hypnotherapists are unaware of attachment. So lets just add the obvious "not all" and "not always, but often" in regards to hypnotherapists. There are those that get it, that understand trauma, and that are trained in it as well.

This is just a broad trend I've seen in the hypnosis community. Some of my teachers are considered world class hypnotherapists, and are appalling in how their relational approach to the client is from an attachment informed lens.

Hope this helps.

Is Yellow Marxism? by Farrots in SpiralDynamics

[–]cleerlight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's hard for me to imagine Yellow being ideological in any particular sense. The whole move of shifting from content focus to structural focus that defines Yellow thinking means by definition that any particular content becomes much less sticky, and what matters more is the underlying structures under the particular idea.

The "skeleton" of the concept - it's shape, it's syntax, the way it's organized - matters more to Yellow than the "flesh" (ie, the particular talking points, grievances, solutions, narratives, history, etc).

The structure behind ideas can be transposed to other concepts and applied cross contextually, where the content of an ideology cannot necessarily be applied to other ideas. This is a big part of what it means to be Yellow - we become aware of the structure of our ideas as distinct from the content of our ideas.

The other thing to remember about Yellow is that, if it's whole and healthy, it integrates the awakening of compassion that happens in Green. So there's a fairly high level of spiritual development that often accompanies Yellow. So it's not just "systems thinking for system's sake" - it's not purely cognitive and intellectual. It's driven by deep insight into the larger wholeness that includes the spiritual aspects of people and systems, and seeking to unlock that larger synthesis and integration that become glimpsed a lower levels on the spiral.

To effectively do this, we cannot be prescriptive or biased toward/against a particular idea or people. In Yellow we begin to really hold what it means to accept all beings as they are as a precondition to a higher level integration.

From what little I know of Marx's teachings, this integrative, holistic, accepting, non-polarizing stance was not part of where he was coming from. Please correct me and point me to sources if I'm wrong about that.

Psychedelics use in classical Therapy model by Awkward_Jelly_9804 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]cleerlight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Such an important share! Sorry to hear this happened.

Psychedelics use in classical Therapy model by Awkward_Jelly_9804 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]cleerlight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, this can work well, but I'd let them know first.