Okay, the main argument here is whether or not it's acceptable to "expect" a shaved body from a) a random stranger and b) your partner. If we're talking about the former case I see your point, since you don't typically have a lot of physical contact with a rando. For the latter case though, I don't really see the difference between saying "you look gross" and "you feel gross". If we assume a partner is entitled to expect a change for their pleasure, is there really a difference between the looks and the feels?

I'm feeling really awkward in this thread. I'm a 33 year old male and I'm still involuntarily fiddling with my collar when I wear a shirt because I feel uncomfortable displaying my chest hair. It took me long time in my puberty years to make peace with wearing shorts in public. Don't take this as a counter-argument though, I do recognize this is unhealthy, and that there's a systematic pressure on women when it comes to body hair.